


Stance of Resistance

by Shujinkakusama, SmugLemon



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Deviates From Canon, F/F, Fluff, Multi, Polyamory, Roleplay Logs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 07:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 62,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7500246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shujinkakusama/pseuds/Shujinkakusama, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmugLemon/pseuds/SmugLemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper is captured after the fight with Malachite. The Cluster is yet to emerge. Pearl finds herself caught between two extremes that she isn't at all prepared for. What's a Gem to do with two potential suitors vying for her attention? // Jaspearl, Pearlnet, eventual Jaspearlnet. Rating for future chapters. Deviates from canon as of "Super Watermelon Island."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Altercation

**Author's Note:**

> I've been itching to post this for ages, and SmugLemon has given me the go ahead! Tagging all the major characters that have shown up as of what we've got written, rather than as they show up.

The beach house was relatively quiet, and had been for the past couple of days. Other than Garnet occasionally using the warp and Amethyst passing through to collect things for Steven, the single triangular shaped Gem sitting in the center of the living room ensured Steven himself would not be allowed inside for some time. He and Lapis Lazuli’s Gem had been taken to the barn, safely separated from the regenerating Jasper. It wasn't an ideal situation for anyone, but it was the best plan for now.

 

Jasper, of course, knew none of this. Her Gem had been motionless since it had been bubbled, but Steven insisted she should be allowed to reform. Now, it began to take on a soft glow, the first sign of shape forming around it.

 

Pearl waited.

 

Her knuckles were painfully taught, wrapped around the hilt of her spear, arm raised and ready. Garnet had given her an idea of when to be here, what to expect, and sure enough, her prediction for Jasper’s reformation had been perfectly accurate.

 

She wasn’t ready—Pearl was acutely aware that Jasper could take her down in a fight, that it wouldn’t take more than one well-aimed bash of Jasper’s helmet to demolish her Gem—but the others were needed at the barn. Lapis was an entirely different type of threat, and with luck, Jasper would be disoriented. Gems often were, after being bubbled for a few days.

 

Pearl’s breath hitched as the Quartz’s form grew before her, and she adjusted her arm, keeping her spear poised scant inches from Jasper’s Gem.

 

“Hello, Jasper.”

 

Jasper blinked several times, trying to make sense of her surroundings. The last thing she remembered clearly was the ruined ship. Bits of burning scrap scattered on a damp piece of land. She'd made it out, though, she knew that. She recalled making a pact with Lapis and then...

 

Then everything was lost in the foggy, distant memories of being part of a fusion. Constantly trapped, unable to get any control no matter how hard she fought for it. They'd split in the end. She was separate at last. Only...

 

Her eyes narrowed, focusing on the point of a weapon aimed for her Gem. And holding the spear was a Pearl, the defective one. Rose Quartz's rebel. Jasper scowled immediately, both at the greeting and the reminder of the nuisance she was dealing with on Earth.

 

"Get that thing away from my face," she ordered, voice rougher than usual and mind still fuzzy.

 

It would have been easy to acquiesce; Jasper’s voice spoke of commanding other Gems before her, ones less disobedient than Pearl was. Still, there was something in her that wanted to comply, a primal instinct that came from being a Pearl. Pearl’s eyes narrowed, and instead she gripped the handle tighter, tipping her chin up to meet Jasper’s gaze evenly. She could push down her fear. She’d fought bigger than Jasper, even if it was eons ago.

 

“You’re not giving the orders here,” Pearl said evenly. “Right now… you’re my prisoner. Understood?”

 

Jasper opened her mouth as if to retort, then closed it. A dark laughter bubbled up to her throat instead and she too lifted her chin, just so that she could remind Pearl who was really in charge here.

 

"Of course. It's not the first time I've been captured." She peered lazily around the room, still not moving. "So, where's your owner?" She asked casually. "Still hiding?"

 

Her laugh made Pearl’s stomach clench, but years of practice kept her face set in a stony glare that betrayed nothing. “I don’t have one,” she grit out. Jasper wasn’t taking her seriously, but then, why should she? It wasn’t as if she could give a warning shot at this distance. Her spear remained steady. “If you’re familiar with being captured, then act accordingly. Steven wants you free from your bubble, but I won’t hesitate to put you back. I’ll blast your Gem clean off your face.”

 

Jasper had never had any real interaction with this particular Pearl. Come to think of it, she'd had never had much interest in pearls at all. Probably because they reminded her of the stuck-up Gems that liked to tote them around everywhere they went and flaunt them.

 

She had better things to do with her time.

 

This Pearl, though... There was something almost amusing about her. She looked so serious; even her voice was firm, unlike any pearl she'd ever heard. They were rare to hear from in the first place. The aristocracy liked silence for reasons Jasper would never understand.

 

"Alright. I'll play along," Jasper said condescendingly. "What do you want?"

 

Right this second, Pearl wanted her back in a bubble, preferably deep in Garnet’s lava pit, never to be seen or heard from again. She and Amethyst had been in agreement on that front, but Steven had insisted, and Garnet had agreed with him. They couldn’t just kill her, no matter what threat she posed—and Steven had been so vehement about granting her freedom that there was very little any of them could have done to dissuade him. He was just like Rose that way.

 

Rose would have won her over. It pained Pearl to think of how much she wished her leader were here now, and she lowered her spear minimally.

 

“I want your word—on your honor—that you’ll cooperate in exchange for some freedom,” Pearl said, voice flat. “You’re not to attack anyone on this planet. There aren’t any warps off-world, but we can track it if you use the warp pads, so don’t think of it. Think of it as a truce… or as close as you’ll be offered. If you step out of line, you _will_ be bubbled, or worse. I guarantee it.”

 

"Alright," Jasper replied, folding her arms across her chest but otherwise seeming completely compliant. "I agree to the terms."

 

It hadn't taken long to weigh her options. She could easily crush this pearl- it would barely take a moment, and she could do it with one bare hand. But the possibility of the fusion being close by was something to consider, and Jasper would need to be more tactical when it came to fighting her. Being trapped for so long had given her time to think things through, and she was just beginning to see the merit in that.

 

In any case, it would be interesting to see how the Pearl reacted next.

 

Blue eyes widened at that, and for a moment, Pearl wasn’t sure what to say. She hadn’t fully considered that Jasper would take the offer without either further threat or bribery. She recovered quickly, however, and lowered her spear to her side, letting it vanish in a flurry of light.

 

“Alright,” Pearl echoed, a bid for precious seconds while her brain tried to work out what to do next. She was alone with a Gem several times her size, who very easily could have taken back her word at a moment’s notice—she wished Garnet had stayed behind with her. “Good. We’ll provide you shelter and, should you need it, protection here on Earth.” She paused. “You’re not under any obligation to answer questions about Homeworld, or the Diamonds, but Steven may ask. Use your digression. And…” she heaved a sigh, extending a hand. “Welcome to Earth.”

 

Just as she'd suspected, she had no reason to be afraid-- the stories of this Pearl were all just fluff. The smaller Gem had let her guard down too easily to be a competent soldier in Jasper's opinion. She had no way of knowing how strong Pearl truly was.

 

Jasper took the slim hand, wrapped her fingers around it tightly and squashed it in her grasp. Her lips curled into what she hoped was something intimidating.

 

"Okay, pearl," she said, and she spat out the word so that it sounded nothing like a name. "How about you answer a couple of my questions now?"

 

The derision in Jasper’s voice didn’t go unnoticed—not in the least—and Pearl would have liked to rip her hand away, but that would have been letting Jasper have more than an inch.

 

Truth be told, she was intimidated. Jasper was everything a Quartz soldier should have been, and while she’d bested a fair few during the war, other Jaspers had poofed her easily. She might have been more comfortable with her swords, she realized; the comfortable weight of steel in hand offered more familiarity than her spear did, even millennia later.

 

“Certainly,” Pearl said, supplying a pleasant tone that didn’t meet her narrowed eyes. She gestured toward the couch with her free hand. “Let’s sit, and I’ll tell you what you need to know.”

 

Sit with a pearl? Not a chance. She wouldn't allow herself to get comfortable here. She let Pearl's hand go and folded her massive arms in front of herself again, standing in place.

 

"I'll make the first one easy for you. Where is Lapis?"

 

If Jasper were going to be difficult, Pearl would let her. She considered briefly the merit in standing, in being just as difficult to prove a point, but decided against it. Pearl arranged herself neatly at the edge of the couch’s bend, perching with feigned nonchalance. If Jasper changed her mind, there was more than enough couch for her, too.

 

“She reformed elsewhere,” Pearl said, never looking away from Jasper’s face. The downside to having sat back down was that their height difference was even more pronounced, but Pearl was a firm believer that size wasn’t the be-all end-all that they tried to make it out to be on Homeworld. Amethyst was proof of that.

 

She, herself, was further proof of that.

 

“The others are… handling her, at the barn. We thought it would be better to keep you two apart, for now.” That Jasper likely didn’t know what a barn was didn’t matter. She had plenty of time to ask questions.

 

Jasper's countenance gave away every thought going on in her head. She didn't need to say out loud how ready she was to smash Lapis into dust and grind the pieces underneath her boots for keeping her prisoner. She tightened her fists and glared at Pearl, unsure of how else to release her anger. She prepared herself for another dissatisfying answer, lips tight.

 

"And what about Peridot? What did you do with her?"

 

“We reached a truce. She’s with the others as well. Steven thought she might be able to reason with Lapis,” Pearl explained, none too thrilled to be away from her surrogate child, even if Garnet and Amethyst were sure to keep him safe. Jasper, at least, could be reasoned with; Quartz soldiers didn’t live several thousand years beyond their conception without having some kind of sense.

 

And she remembered, too clearly, their first meeting. Jasper had mentioned Rose, said that she respected her tactics—which meant that there was more than brute strength to contend with. She hoped to appeal to that part of Jasper, somehow.

 

Pearl wondered, not for the first time, how she’d gotten herself into this.

 

“Now I have a question for you,” Pearl said, leaning forward and steepling her fingers in front of her lips. “What do you know—if anything—about the Cluster?”

 

Jasper let the information sink in. She had almost worried that Peridot had met a worse fate, her being just a small technician. And a weak one at that. She was broken from her train of thought when Pearl spoke again. She narrowed her eyes.

 

"Thought you just said I wasn't under any obligation," she replied gruffly. But she answered anyway.

 

"I know what I needed to know for the mission. I don't have the details Peridot has. I know what it is and what it's going to do."

 

Pearl chose to take Jasper’s answer as a good sign; some openness, however guarded, was infinitely better than speaking to a wall. There might be room for progress with her yet. The Crystal Gem drew in a breath, considering her own options.

 

“You aren’t obligated—but I do appreciate your honesty,” she said, and it wasn’t a lie. She exhaled through her nose, closing her eyes very briefly. It was a gamble, but she would take it. “Obviously, we Crystal Gems intend to prevent the Cluster from emerging. The Earth’s safety is our number one priority. If you try to interfere with that, our truce—“ she used the term loosely, and knew it, “—will be over. It’s up to you if you decide to help us.”

 

Pearl’s mouth was dry, but she didn’t dare lick her lips, knowing it would betray her nervousness. Debriefing Jasper had been something she’d rehearsed in her head a dozen times, but actually doing it… she stood, smoothing her tunic for want of something to do with her hands. “You have just as much to lose as the rest of us, but I—we—do understand that you’re loyal to Homeworld, and your Diamond. Even if no one is coming for the three of you now.”

 

"What do you mean no one is...?" Jasper took a step nearer Pearl, invading her space and looking down on her

 

"I don't care about the fate of this planet one way or another. I am returning to Homeworld," she growled. "Peridot should have contacted Yellow Diamond or one of her subordinates by now."

 

Jasper's fist was clenched between them, possibly only moments from grabbing Pearl by the shirt and hoisting her into the air angrily.

 

"What aren't you telling me?"

 

It took astounding effort to meet Jasper’s gaze without stepping back—not that there was a full pace worth to retreat, between Pearl and the couch itself. She looked up at the bigger Gem coolly, keeping her expression as close to neutral as she could. The knot in her stomach made it more than a little difficult.

 

Her voice was deceptively calm, reminiscent of years gone by. This close to the enemy, Pearl was a very different Gem, even without swords in hand.

 

“Peridot tried to contact Yellow Diamond directly to convince her of Earth’s value outside of growing the Cluster here,” she said slowly, “And Yellow Diamond did not take her ideas or notes well. Peridot called her a clod when she refused to terminate the project. If any ships do come, they won’t be to take anyone back alive.”

 

Jasper's face fell, and so did her shoulders. She searched Pearl's face for deception. Found none.

 

She turned abruptly then, starting to pace toward the kitchen like a caged animal. Her rage built quick, and her fingers tangled in her thick hair, threatening to rip it out at the roots. With no warning beside a loud roar of rage, Jasper's fists appeared again and slammed themselves into the dining room's counter. It dented under the weight and force, but she hardly seemed to notice. She hung her head for a long, silent moment, shoulders shaking slightly.

 

When she did finally look up again, she glared at Pearl with a burning intensity.

 

"How do you know that? You're just a pearl. Now bring me to Rose Quartz!"

 

For the briefest of moments, Pearl’s heart went out to Jasper. She knew all too well what reality crashing down felt like, and enemy or not, she didn’t take any pleasure in seeing Jasper’s fire extinguish—no matter how briefly.

 

But this was reality, and Jasper would have to work through this (very, very Quartz-like) fit before acceptance set in.

 

“How do I know? It can’t possibly be that I was there for the call,” she quipped, scowling. Of course Jasper would go right back to being impossible. Pearl folded her arms. “And Rose is… gone. Garnet is our leader now. I trust you’ll understand me _not_ bringing you to her.”

 

Jasper's patience was being tested with this cocky Pearl and now the mention of that fusion. Why had they left her with the Pearl? To tempt her into breaking her and a flimsy truce that quickly? What was their angle here?

 

She bared her teeth, disgusted with the pearl's tone.

 

"I'm not an idiot—I saw her use her shield to protect you. I saw her gem on that human form. It was Rose."

 

Pearl bit back an insult, knowing that no good would come of it. Still, she wasn’t any happier about the arrangement than Jasper; she could think of no one on Earth she wanted to talk to less, let alone about where Rose was or wasn’t.

 

“If Rose were here, do you honestly think you would’ve fought any of the rest of us? Steven is her heir; he inherited her Gem and shield,” Pearl shot back, “He’s not Rose. He’s half human. You’re _not_ an idiot, so the concept shouldn’t be too much of a stretch for you, no matter how unorthodox it is.”

 

Her shoulders, too, sagged—but only slightly—and her gaze darted instinctively to Rose’s portrait above the doorway, then back to Jasper’s bright gold eyes. “Rose is gone.”

 

Jasper paused. Could this be the truth? It seemed to be the only explanation. Rose had barely resisted her attack. She'd passed out easily from a single hit to the head, weak and struggling to find consciousness even hours later. If she'd somehow taken on a human form permanently, then Pearl wasn't lying.

 

Which opened up so many more questions.

 

Jasper's anger seemed to fade, still pulsing gently through her as she stared back at the Gem across the room.

 

"But why?" She asked. "What strategy is there in such a sacrifice? And why... why would she leave her pearl behind?"

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Pearl cursed those three words as they tumbled from her lips, then shook her head. That was more honesty than Jasper needed from her, offered the potential for an opening she didn’t want to give. She steeled herself, fully expecting Jasper to jump on it.

 

“Rose was brilliant,” she said quickly, “But this planet was at peace for thousands of years. Cut off from Homeworld and other Gem-controlled planets. Rose felt we could handle things on Earth.”

 

Jasper's eyes flashed with something wicked and she slowly stood up straighter, once again reminding Pearl how tall she was in comparison. She naturally ignored Pearl's attempt to cover her slip. Her voice grew smoother but no less digging, biting at the exposed weakness.

 

"So Rose Quartz just decided one day to give it all up?"

 

She asked, taking a few predatory steps towards Pearl.

 

"After thousands of years, that coward couldn't even stick around to see the ruin of her precious planet, the one she fought so hard to defend. And she abandoned her army. Abandoned her pearl."

 

It was with practiced ease and a thousand years of muscle memory that Pearl summoned her swords on Jasper’s approach, ready with the weapons drawn before her mind could fully process her words. Really, nothing after the word ‘coward’ mattered, and Pearl wanted to be sure Jasper knew it.

 

She had to remind herself of their truce at the last second, as her arm drew back to strike.

 

And she almost didn’t care.

 

“Rose Quartz was _not_ a coward,” she hissed, “And you’ll do well not to insult her, Jasper.”

 

"Look at you, so protective of her name," Jasper insulted her further, appearing unperturbed by the presence of Pearl's newly brandished weapons. Although she was smart enough not to move any closer.

 

"Getting so worked up over nothing. Am I not entitled to an opinion down here on Earth? Or did all of Rose's pathetic talk of freedom go to waste too?"

 

The burning in Pearl’s chest didn’t subside, not one bit. She was being baited—and didn’t care. Peridot insulting Rose’s memory came to mind, only this time, Steven wasn’t here to placate anyone. Pearl’s knuckles gripped the familiar hilts of her swords, heavy and comforting in hand. She could take Jasper down, apologize to Steven later.

 

But Jasper wasn’t wrong about her right to an opinion, and Steven would have defended her.

 

“You forget; you’re a prisoner,” Pearl spat, lowering her swords just slightly—still within easy striking distance, and her grip didn’t lessen at all. “Once you share your opinion, you’ll contend with the consequences, just like anywhere else. Unless Homeworld’s stance has changed on _that_ since we left.”

 

" _Everything_ has changed since you left," Jasper said, and there was something sour in her tone. "You can't even imagine."

 

She placed her hands on her hips, not wanting to give the Gem in front of her a chance to reply right away.

 

"Why don't you put those away, pearl?" She asked condescendingly, nodding towards the swords.

 

Jasper was the second Gem to mention that, after Lapis, and Pearl wondered fiercely what Homeworld was like now—for everyone, if even a veteran soldier was feeling the brunt of change. _Good_ , she wanted to spit, but really, Pearl wasn’t sure that change was always a good thing. Not anymore.

 

“Why don’t you stop baiting me?” Pearl quipped, “You were looking for a reaction. Didn’t like it?”

 

She shrugged. Thinking of Homeworld again had instantly dulled her mood, and Pearl had only reminded her she was a prisoner. What a joke. And yet, it was her reality. There was no chance of escape from earth, and the reminder was only stirring up a mix of nasty emotions in her that she pushed away.

 

"I grow bored easily with pearls," Jasper deflected, and she suspected that might get even more of a rise out of her. "They've never been able to hold my attention long.”

 

In her mind’s eye, Pearl could see her sisters’ faces, lovely and perfect and still on that awful place, left behind long ago, and she bristled. She hoped they were safe and content, if not happy with their places in life. Jasper’s deflection was a good one, but recognizable. She could argue with the brute about this, at least.

 

“I’m sure you were absolutely _riveting_ to them too, Jasper,” Pearl said, rolling her eyes in distaste. “Unfortunately for you, I’m the only one who wants to put up with you. So you’re stuck with me.”

 

Jasper puffed up at the insult, pronouncing her broad shoulders and instinctively trying to defend her pride, even if Pearl was the only one around to hear the comment.

 

"I do just fine holding a pearl's interest," she retorted, and she not-so-subtly glanced Pearl over.

 

"Now that I think of it... Don't you have an Amethyst with you? She'd be less likely to get distracted, I think."

 

The way Jasper’s eyes took in her body made Pearl flush, just slightly, and she glared up at the bigger Gem, wide eyes narrowing considerably. It had been a long time since she’d been subjected to another Gem’s leering—and she didn’t like it any more now than she had when anyone other than Rose’s eyes had been on her millennia ago.

 

“I’m sure,” she snapped back, and then, finally, returned her swords to her Gem. Taking each in was considerably more uncomfortable than drawing them, and frankly, didn’t help her growing headache any. “And we do. She’s with the others.” She paused, “Steven thought it was better, having her there to… deal with Lapis.”

 

Jasper couldn't help but smirk, noticing both Pearl's small but curious reaction and the fact that she'd convinced her to put away her weapons. She stretched and flexed her arms with confidence.

 

Until the mention of Lapis, which set her back to frowning.

 

"What are you going to do with her?" She asked darkly. "I can deal with her real quick."

 

And to emphasize that point, the larger Gem cracked the knuckles of one hand.

 

The cracking made Pearl’s skin crawl—she was certain that Jasper could easily crush other Gems in hand, much the way Garnet could in her gauntlets. It didn’t make being at odds and alone with her any more comfortable.

 

“You’re both more useful to us alive,” Pearl said, folding her arms. “But Lapis is more… potentially volatile, all things considered. We plan to keep you two apart as much as possible. Steven thinks she’ll come around.”

 

"Then this Steven is wrong. Lapis Lazuli can't be trusted," Jasper cut in, not willing to entertain the idea that Pearl could possibly know what she was talking about. "She doesn't know what loyalty is. She's insane!" Jasper's frown twitched into something more than just angry- something distressed, almost anguished. "You don't know what she's capable of. You don't know what she did-," this time Jasper cut herself off, glancing from Pearl's face to the floor and back.

 

“Jasper…” Pearl started, then sighed. She knew better than to think that she could understand what the Quartz had been through, but it didn’t make her any less sympathetic to her plight. Lapis Lazuli was incredibly dangerous—but from what they’d seen, perfectly capable of loyalty to Steven.

 

“Steven believes that Lapis will come around to _him_ ,” she clarified, “Whatever that means for the rest of us is yet to be seen. I don’t trust her. Stars, I trust you more, just on the grounds that you’re at least a _soldier_. I don’t know what she did to you, and I don’t expect you to tell me… but I believe it was horrific.” Pearl paused, rolling her next words on her tongue, knowing they might be for naught, and then heaved a sigh. “And I’m sorry, for what you experienced. That’s precisely why we’re keeping you two apart. And she’s exactly what we’re prepared to protect you from.”

 

"I don't need your protection or your sympathy, pearl," Jasper replied, somewhat quietly for her usually boisterous manner. She tried to sound insulted but wasn't sure how clear it came out. Her head was pounding dully, enough that it was becoming uncomfortable. She blamed it on that.

 

"So what do you want?" She asked, trying to change the subject quickly. "You're just going to try and keep me in this place?" She glanced around. The house was small and strange, hardly anything like a prison and yet nothing like Home.

 

Jasper’s big talk was easy enough to see past, and Pearl wished it wasn’t. She supposed all Quartzes were that way, to some degree, but several thousand years with Amethyst made it hard to believe Jasper’s words at face value. Pearl watched her evenly, glancing toward the door.

 

“You’re welcome to come and go as you please—short of poofing you, there’s not much I can do to keep you here, and I’d rather not fight in Steven’s room,” she said at length, “There’s plenty of beach to keep you occupied, as long as you don’t go past the city, and the view from the bluff is lovely… if you’re able to appreciate that sort of thing.”

 

"What does it matter? It's all going to be rubble soon enough thanks to the cluster. I would rather be in prison on Homeworld. Some crumbled four-Gem army and a peridot can't stop a Diamond's personal geo-weapon."

 

Jasper scowled, looking to the portrait above the door with added disgust. "And I don't even get the fun of facing Rose Quartz and showing her exactly what I think of her."

 

Oh, how Pearl would have liked to see Rose take Jasper on herself. Even with years of peace behind them, she had been unstoppable. Rose could take down creatures with ease that the rest of them still struggled with.

 

“You don’t know that. We’ve made plenty of headway,” Pearl insisted, feeling her cheeks color with frustration at the entire situation spread before her. Truthfully, the Cluster was a much bigger threat than she wanted to admit; Earth very well might have been doomed to the fate Jasper described, but that didn’t mean she and the other Crystal Gems wouldn’t go down fighting. “If you’re determined to be miserable while you’re here, that’s your prerogative. But we’re going to defeat the Cluster, so you might as well learn to enjoy the view. You’ll be here a while.”

 

She sounded almost smug to Jasper, speaking so freely. To Pearl, it may have been her typical way of talking. To Jasper, it was yet another reminder that this little thing, this decoration, had actual power over her. And that was not sitting well with the soldier.

 

"Don't get smart-mouthed with me, pearl," Jasper snapped, grabbing Pearl's shirt by the star. She tugged her upwards so that her toes just barely brushed the surface of the floor.

 

"You can strand me on Earth but there is no way I'm going to let you talk down on me," she flashed her fangs, staring Pearl down.

 

To her credit, despite her surprise, Pearl didn’t yelp. Her hands flew instinctively to Jasper’s arm, gripping hard as she tried—in vain—to find purchase on the floor _en pointe_. Her toes brushed the hardwood floor uselessly. Jasper was just tall enough to prevent that, and Pearl’s cheeks went blue with embarrassment and frustration, unable to do anything but hang on to the Quartz soldier’s forearm.

 

“Put me down!” Pearl snapped reflexively, meeting Jasper’s gaze with a burning glare of her own. “I never _talked down to you_ , Jasper, but you’ve done plenty of that to _me_!”

 

"It's my place!" She spat back, enjoying Pearl's useless attempts to squirm out of her grip.

 

"Your kind should hardly speak to me at all.   You should be keeping your head down and _listening_ to me!" Her grip tightened, and she shook Pearl slightly in her blinding rage.

 

"You might pretend to be a warrior, but you'll never be anything more than a weak, defective, little--"

 

"Jasper."

 

A firm, deep voice cut through the room, accompanied by the slamming of the house's wooden door against the wall. Garnet filled the doorway, arms crossed at her chest. Even with a visor covering her eyes, the fusion's displeasure was obvious. Jasper turned her head to glare at her anyway.

 

"Put her down." Garnet commanded.


	2. Moon Jelly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper tags along on a dangerous mission.

Jasper didn't listen initially. She couldn't hide the challenge in her eyes or her tone.

 

"Well. Look who it is," she said to no one in particular, still holding Pearl aloft like it was her right to do so.

 

There was little Pearl could do but endure Jasper's rough treatment, and some part of her expected the soldier to finish her there. One well-aimed bash with her helmet was all Jasper would have needed, and her swords were useless without her feet on the ground.

 

Garnet's arrival couldn't have been better timed, and Pearl turned to stare at her, wide-eyed.

 

"Garnet..." Pearl murmured, visibly relieved even if she still dangled limply in Jasper's hold.

 

Garnet didn't feel the need to repeat herself. If it came to that, she'd be poofing Jasper again and telling Steven she just hadn't emerged yet.

 

Initially, Garnet hadn't wanted to intervene; she wanted Pearl to have the chance to handle this herself and knew that she could. But the protective part of her wouldn't let Jasper go any further.

 

"We have a mission," she said instead, stepping forward.

 

Jasper slowly let Pearl back to the floor, eyes trained on Garnet's fierce expression.

 

"What does that mean?" She asked. Her claws slipped away from Pearl's shirt, letting her go and putting all her attention on Garnet now.

 

The moment her feet touched the ground, Pearl was prepared to rip away—but she couldn’t bring herself to risk the star emblem on her chest. It was luck that Jasper did release her moments later, and she pushed the soldier’s big hand away as she strode purposefully across the room to Garnet’s side.

 

“It means…” Pearl said, Gem alight as she summoned her swords again, more easily accessible than her spear. With them in hand and Garnet at her side, she felt at ease, even if her uniform was wrinkled and unkempt. Jasper’s words still crawled at the back of her mind, and she narrowed her eyes. “That this _pearl_ has a job to do.”

 

Garnet glanced at Pearl, then back at the confused-looking quartz.

 

"Jasper too," she said, starting towards the warp pad once she saw Pearl draw her weapons. She thought her friend might want to protest, but knew this was for the best. Or at least it seemed likely.

 

"And what?" Jasper replied, directing the comment only at Garnet. "The two of you can't do it alone? Two Gems ought to be enough without a pearl to cheer you on."

 

Pearl did cast a startled look at Garnet's request, but she trusted the Fusion implicitly--if Garnet inexplicably wanted Jasper along, she wouldn't argue.

 

Jasper's words brought an angry flush to her pale cheeks, and she whipped around to glare at her. Even knowing she was wrong wasn't enough to calm her. "Stay if you're too afraid to join us, then," she spat, "I doubt you would be any good on a mission, anyway."

 

"She's not staying here without a chaperone," Garnet explained, stepping up onto the crystal blue warp and placing her hands on her hips.

 

Jasper growled, both at Garnet's treatment and Pearl's remark.

 

"This once you're right, pearl; I wouldn't be any good being a senseless traitor to my Homeworld."

 

"Let's go." Garnet ordered, trying to cut them both out of the argument. It wasn't a question.

 

Pearl had the sense not to keep arguing, though she was by no means finished. She took her place on the warp pad, close to Garnet's side, and if not for the swords in her hands she might have reached for her as thanks.

 

Jasper's words burned in her ears, and she gripped her swords more tightly, knuckles going blue before they went white. She wanted nothing more than to leave her behind, bubbled away forever.

 

"Any details, Garnet?"

 

Jasper slowly, begrudgingly climbed onto the warp by Pearl as Garnet gave her explanation.

 

"A corrupted Gem," she said honestly, knowing exactly who it was but leaving that part out for now. "Whirlpool Island. We have to be especially alert, quick, and careful for this one."

 

With everyone on, the warp began to glow around them, lifting them into the air to transport them to the Island. It was a small thing and aptly named. A humid beach crawling with tropical organic life and surrounded by water. In the center, a perfect circle of murky greenish blue, constantly spinning. Constantly looking to take whatever fell into it down into its depths.

 

Jasper of course knew none of this at the moment. She was preoccupied with pushing Pearl's buttons even now.

 

"Just so you know," she hissed by Pearl's ear, bending so she could reach in the confined space of the warp. "I'm not afraid of _anything_."

 

"That makes you a fool," Pearl hissed back, scarcely keeping her swords down at the intrusion to her personal space. Jasper should have been afraid--but, Pearl realized, likely wouldn't ever admit to such a thing.

 

The warp trip was brief, and Pearl turned her attention to Garnet. "We haven't fought anything here since the Moon Jelly--ohh," she caught herself, eyes going wide. "Not another jellyfish monster!"

 

Jasper felt her heartbeat quicken as she took in the surrounding area. Water on all sides, it seemed, and something about that set her skin crawling. She steeled herself, trying to look uncaring as Garnet replied to Pearl.

 

"Yes," Garnet answered, stepping with purpose towards the brush. "Should be much like the last one."

 

Jasper took on a grumpy disposition, lagging behind and grumbling.

 

"Isn't there anywhere on this planet not coated in water?"

 

“Maybe thirty percent,” Pearl replied offhandedly, following Garnet. Wide, pale eyes scanned the area, looking for movement or—better—the reflective gleam of the corrupted Gem’s weak point. She hoped this one would have its Gem exposed; they washed up every few decades, and worse yet, the awful things could hover above ground.

 

The island was familiar, at least, and Jasper’s discomfort was hardly shared. Pearl remembered coming here centuries ago with Rose, to enjoy some stargazing and watch the way its namesake contorted the stars and moonlight.

 

“Garnet,” Pearl murmured, “I don’t want you to risk your Gems if this one has neurotoxin. If I can cut off the tendrils, the rest of the work should be fairly simple… right?”

 

"Neurotoxin?" Jasper asked, not sounding very eager but sort of curious. Unsurprisingly, Garnet ignored her.

 

"These things are never simple, Pearl," she said, lifting her arms and summoning her gauntlets.

 

With so many years of disuse, the poor island had become overgrown in an almost ugly way. Like so many of the places the warp pads lead to, it wasn't like it used to be.

 

She held back a few branches for Pearl, signaling her to head forward into the clearing. She stood there longer, too, waiting for Jasper to pass. The soldier glared at her as she followed Pearl, watching to make sure she-- or 'the two' in her opinion-- didn't try anything. Garnet continued without incident, nearing the edge of the spinning pool.

 

"I don't want you gettin' close to its legs."

 

Garnet had a point; monsters were rarely simple, especially ones that Garnet deliberately kept Steven away from. Still, Pearl nodded gratefully as she ducked past Garnet’s arm, making her way toward the pool. The knight heaved a sigh, none too pleased at the way the island had deteriorated over the years.

 

At least the jelly monsters seemed to live exclusively in the whirlpool—that made them easier to locate, kept the beasts isolated in case humans arrived on the island by mistake. They rarely went into the forested area surrounding the whirlpool and its shores.

 

The foliage cleared, and Pearl sucked in a gasp at the sight of their soon-to-be foe, hovering angrily above the water. It was massive, a good ten feet in diameter at the head alone.

 

Pearl was briefly grateful that Amethyst, too, wasn’t present for this one. The tentacled monstrosity wasn’t one she would wish on her friend, and she remembered all too clearly having to bring Amethyst’s Gem back the last time they’d come to this island.

 

“The clubbed ones, or the ones with the suckers?” Pearl teased humorlessly, rolling her stiff shoulders. “I’m ready. However you want to go at this.”

 

Jasper nearly stumbled backwards as the monster lifted itself into the air. She grimaced; she'd seen enough of all aquatic creatures and wanted nothing to do with them. Luckily she could hang back in the shadows, arms folded defensively, and act as if she weren't interested at all.

 

Meanwhile, Garnet took on a battle stance, scanning the possibilities. One stood out, but none of them were clean victories.

 

"Just don't let it get behind you," Garnet warned. With the creature's extremely versatile dexterity working against them, dodging would be crucial. Garnet leapt up with a yell, an attempt to get close to its face. Unfortunately, it noticed the action quickly and blocked her before she could manage to deal any damage. It swung a single tentacle against Garnet, knocking the side of her glove and bringing her back to the ground.

 

Those instructions weren’t much to build a battle plan off of, but Pearl had ideas of her own already. Moon Jellies were a familiar foe, even if they weren’t normally so _large_. Pearl dashed forward, dodging and weaving until she was near enough to risk a jump at the beast. She narrowly avoided one of the clubbed tentacles, but only just, landing neatly on the jelly’s mantle. She could see the Gem’s glimmer lower down, situated above the beak, deep inside.

 

It didn’t grant her much time; the Moon Jelly was already trying to reach her, flailing angrily at being disturbed by much smaller predators, but an experimental jab at the center proved her fears correct.

 

“Mantle’s too thick!” Pearl called, rolling as the enraged beast’s club came within striking range. She yelped at the sight of its toxic blue tendrils, stuck to suckers along the inside of the main tentacle, and slashed at it, watching the ribbon come away like tissue paper—only to land near her feet. The beast keened in pain, rocking in the air, and Pearl realized her purchase wasn’t stable enough to maintain.

 

She dove off of the Jelly, hoping to find safe footing on land, but the beast’s second clubbed tentacle came rushing up to meet her instead, colliding with her shoulder with a sickening _crunch_. Pearl screamed, trajectory changed, and went careening into Jasper, crashing into the Quartz soldier full force.

 

Though her feet didn't budge, Jasper grunted as Pearl collided with her, and she instinctively put her arms out to catch her. Which resulted, of course, in two pale, slender hands clutched at her shoulders and her own hands gripping Pearl's thighs to keep her from tumbling to the ground.

 

Garnet didn't have time to glance back at them, shouting as she managed to get her armored fingers around one of the clubbed tentacles and seeing if a strong pull would do any good. The creature fell slightly in her direction and screeched in pain but seemed otherwise unaffected. It swung Garnet away, but she was quick enough to let go and land easily, jumping back up at once for another angle.

 

Jasper blinked. Seconds at most had passed, but it felt like Pearl was stuck against her much longer. The words 'warm' and 'soft' came to mind right before she processed what was happening. The quartz's head fought to come away from her shoulders, reeling backward to stare down at Pearl, whose face was crushed completely against her chest.

 

"Aren't you supposed to be fighting?" She barked, irritation clear in her question. She knew it had been unwise for a Pearl to fight.

 

Pearl’s vision had gone briefly gray from the pain in her shoulder, and her swords had gone flying without her, scattered in the sand not far away. The alabaster Gem groaned, instinctively gripping Jasper’s shoulders as her vision returned all too slowly. _Strange_ , she thought distantly, thoughts swimming, _who had she crashed into_? All harness and rough muscle—but she didn’t have the presence of mind to wonder. Her left hand had less strength than her right; shoulder visibly displaced from the Moon Jelly’s blow, and it sent hot pain rocketing through her slight frame.

 

Jasper’s words drew her abruptly back to reality, and Pearl yelped, untangling herself as best she could. The pain in her shoulder was easily ignored—but not forgotten—in favor of saving face, getting _away_ from the Quartz soldier.

 

“I’m not _done_ ,” she hissed, stumbling backward to put some distance between them. She might not have been finished yet, but her left arm wasn’t going to be much use going back into the fray.

 

Pearl opted to reclaim just one sword this time, keeping it to her right hand. Her left arm didn’t quite hang limply at her side, but it was hard to lift, almost impossible to maneuver with.

 

That didn’t stop her from rushing back into the fight, slashing relentlessly at the underside of the monster’s heavily suckered legs as she tried to keep her focus on the task at hand. It was luck that she managed to slice one of the beast’s shorter tentacles down the center, earning a shriek uncomfortably close to her face, from the beaked mouth that protected its Gem.

 

“Garnet, we have to go from the bottom!”

 

"It's too dangerous!" Garnet replied, worried about Pearl's tendency to throw herself into danger and push herself past her limits.

 

"That's its weakest point, but it's also where the toxins are concentrated strongest."

 

Vision after vision flashed by of Pearl being hurt, damaged for an extended period of time. She was determined not to let it come true, but each second that passed only made the scenario clearer and Pearl's fate more inevitable.

 

Focus, she reminded herself. The mission. The monster.

 

"I'll cover you." Garnet decided firmly, circling back round to join Pearl as the beast flexed its tendrils and rose above them with a beastly cry.

 

Jasper squinted at the pearl. There was clearly something wrong with her arm, but she was pushing through it. No pearl she'd ever seen was subject to such treatment. Pearls were so fragile. Surely she'd poof any second.

 

“That’s all I need,” Pearl said, flashing a grateful smile Garnet’s way before her expression once again turned serious. Without her left arm and a second blade to defend with, she was acutely aware that she would get injured, or worse—but with Garnet at her side, it was hard to care. She chanced a glance at the whirlpool below the beast, then shook her head. If her Gem were lost to the depths, she would find a way back—and if that possibility were too real, Garnet would have told her.

 

Pearl leapt up with a blood-curdling cry, twirling expertly as she slashed at the ribbon tendrils, knocking them away as she spun. The guard of her sword didn’t offer her hand much protection, but momentum was on her side, and she caught herself in mid-air before she could find herself caught in the angry beast’s maw.

 

She could feel shreds of the neurotoxin-laced ribbons scalding her skin, leaving burns where her sword didn’t deflect them completely. Her dislocated arm burned, but she couldn’t lift it to move it out of the way. But the adrenalin of battle kept her moving, hacking viciously where she could, at tendril, tentacle, and even the hard curved beak, before embedding her sword as deeply as she could in the mantle, trying this time from below.

 

Pearl prayed it was enough, drawing away. She kicked out at one of the shorter tentacles, flinging herself back toward the shore—only to be clipped again by the bulge of the long forearms.

 

This time, at least, Pearl landed on the shore in a heap, uniform tattered and skin littered with burns. “Garnet,” she gasped breathlessly, “Now’d be a good time to finish it…!”

 

"On it," Garnet replied, not glancing again at Pearl and instead throwing herself at the beast. With the force of her body, she was able to bring it down onto the shore opposite where Pearl lay. Garnet possessed the strength to rip the beak straight from the Jelly's mouth, effectively poofing it until nothing but the Gem remained. She sighed, lifting the Gem and bubbling it slowly.

 

Jasper stood for the longest moment completely stunned. Her eyes hadn't left Pearl since she'd stumbled off and continued the battle despite being so obviously damaged and outmatched. There was no way, she thought, that the pearl could last let alone...

 

_She'd taken it down._

 

With one arm dangling at her side, a pearl had hacked and slashed expertly at a monster twenty times her size and reduced it to a screeching, retreating mess. She'd endured the pain, the burning toxins, the possible threat of being swallowed whole. Jasper knew soldiers, some that had fought alongside her, that wouldn't have had that kind of mad bravery. Where was such strength hiding in a pearl? A pearl.

 

Jasper wet her lips with her tongue, but her mouth still felt dry. Pearl had landed yards away, huffing and clearly struggling but still alive and physically there, fighting even though the fusion was finishing the battle. Finally, Jasper's shaking legs pushed her body forward and, without even thinking, she fell to her knees at Pearl's side.

 

Jasper had never been gentle with anything in her life. But this was the moment that changed. She carefully slipped her arms underneath Pearl and cradled her, determined to show her respect by giving her help.

 

"Don't move," she said, voice still sharp as usual, but genuinely concerned. Now she was seeing the burns up close. The nasty-looking welts littered her form, so Jasper tried not to shift her too much.

 

Jasper’s move startled her, but Pearl wasn’t truly in any condition to do anything contrary. She sagged in the bigger Gem’s grip, grimacing at the persistent burning that set fire along her every nerve, even where the welts weren’t present.

 

Something in Jasper’s tone was different, and Pearl blinked blearily up at her, trying hard to get her eyes to focus. Everything was awash with gray, especially at the edges of her vision. “Jasper?” she whispered, then shook her head, just slightly—and the results were excruciating.

 

The smaller Gem groaned, reaching up to feel the smooth surface of her Gem with trembling fingers. Feeling no damage, Pearl let her hand drop again. “I have to help Garnet,” she murmured breathlessly, “I need to get up…”

 

Jasper didn't even bother looking at Garnet. Her eyes were on Pearl.

 

"Didn't you hear me?" she growled, slowly getting to her feet. She kept Pearl close against her, lifting her easily but as gingerly as her strength would allow.

 

"You aren't moving. You did what you intended to do. Now I'm getting you out of here."

 

It's what any soldier would have done for another. In between ripping enemies in half and bashing her helmet against shining Gems, Jasper carried the weight of her comrades in battle. Pearl seemed at the moment to be the kind that refused to disappear into her Gem. Stubborn but honorable. Jasper was briefly reminded of herself.

 

"It's over. You won," she went on, walking back in the direction of the warp.

 

Each step jarred her dislocated arm, sending waves of white-hot pain through Pearl’s battered body, and she whimpered into Jasper’s chest, pride briefly forgotten. She tried to raise her arm, but it stubbornly refused to cooperate. Instead, she grit her teeth, using her good hand to gather her injured arm up, cradling it against her chest despite the screaming pain in her shoulder.

 

From the lack of shrieking, Pearl could only assume that Jasper was telling the truth; Moon Jellies weren’t quiet monsters. Garnet must have survived, then, and completed their task.

 

That was what mattered.

 

“My swords,” Pearl gasped out, blue eyes going wide with the realization that both were still on the shore. Speaking was a strain, but she clutched blindly at Jasper’s hand. “I—Jasper, I’m not leaving them. _Please_ …”

 

"They're just swords," Jasper started to say, but she made the mistake of glancing down at Pearl's face. Two big blue eyes were pleading up at her, and Jasper was forced to actually pause in her tracks.

 

Something tightened in her chest and she stared back at Pearl, her mouth slightly agape. That one look made her change her mind. Without any explanation, she felt compelled to follow Pearl's request.

 

"Alright," she gave in, finally prying her gaze away from the Gem in her arms. But it was obvious to her at once that she wouldn't be able to carry both Pearl and the weapons. She'd have to find another solution.

 

"I can take her," Garnet offered with a nod towards Pearl, having now caught back up with the pair of them. She'd seen Jasper pick up Pearl and had quickened her pace towards the pair of them. No part of her trusted Jasper or what she might do, despite her future vision's confusing outcomes.

 

Jasper tried to tuck Pearl closer against her, and took a step away from Garnet.

"Get her swords," she ordered.

 

Garnet stared for a long moment. Then, without a word, she went to collect the fallen blades.

 

Everything about her present situation was alien, but the sight of Garnet eased some of her worries—and the assurance that her swords wouldn’t be forgotten helped immensely. Pearl heaved a shuddering sigh, eyelids falling shut for a moment longer than she would have liked. Darkness would have been a welcome friend compared to the burning that danced across her skin, pulsed with every beat of her tired heart.

 

She forced her eyes open again to look up at Jasper, mustering up a grateful smile. Pearl couldn’t fathom what had changed Jasper’s mind, or why she wouldn’t hand her off to Garnet, but for now, she was thankful that the Quartz soldier had listened at all. “Thank you,” she managed, gripping her hand as tightly as she could—and with the welts that littered her long fingers, it was hard to even curl them at all.

 

Jasper felt the squeeze around her hand and it reassured her. Even though she could only offer a grunt in reply to Pearl's gratitude-- she didn't know what else to say in this situation-- the gesture made her chest tighten even more. She glanced at Pearl's weary face again and nodded. She was more determined than before to get Pearl back safe and see her healed.

 

Garnet, on the other hand, was frowning as she processed the scene in front of her. It was just as she'd feared. None of the futures she'd seen had been good for Pearl, and it had almost made her forget the mission altogether-- the last thing she ever wanted was for Pearl or any of her family to be put in pain like this. But it was a necessary mission and it was Pearl who had really defeated the Jelly. Now she was in the arms of Jasper, who looked outright determined to help when she'd only looked disinterested before. She didn't even hand Pearl over. Got almost _defensive_ when it was suggested. Garnet had a bad feeling about it. She held onto Pearl's swords as the three of them warped.

 

As soon as they were back in the house, Jasper stepped forward to find the couch she remembered Pearl sitting on earlier. She figured she'd place her there and give Pearl time to rest.

 

"I'm going to put you down," Jasper explained, noticing Pearl was still, despite the odds, conscious and aware. There was a softness in her rough voice she didn't even know she was capable of.

 

It was through sheer force of will that Pearl stayed conscious for the trip back. Her Gem worked overtime trying to fix her wounds; poofing would have been easier, and Pearl had certainly poofed for _less_ in the past, but she had already fought her way past that possibility. Still, she was mostly silent, biting her tongue to keep from crying out when the warp’s magic washed over her.

 

She was cradled too closely to Jasper to turn to see, but she had heard Garnet join them on the warp and knew that the Fusion must have directed the stream—Jasper had no reason to know where to warp _to_ , and sure enough, they appeared moments later at the Temple.

 

When Jasper spoke, she nodded, steeling herself for more pain. Fortunately, she was starting to get numb to the sensation, more or less. “Okay,” she murmured, clutching her left arm to keep it as still as possible. She’d overdone it, Pearl knew, but at least it had been her and not Garnet on the receiving end of the Moon Jelly’s toxic tendrils. She had a very specific skill set that the others could often make up for without her present; Garnet’s strength and leadership were needed at all times. Especially now, with two prisoners to contend with.

 

Jasper’s newfound willingness to help baffled her, but she would think it over later. She didn’t doubt that her reckless behavior was partially to thank; she didn’t fight like a Quartz, but she had been trained by one of the most famous Quartz soldiers known to Gemkind.

 

It was a shame Rose wasn’t here to do something for all these burns, though.

 

Jasper carelessly kicked the coffee table out of the way, not caring where it landed. It crashed into the opposite wall, clattering loudly. But Jasper couldn't care less about some piece of earth junk. She kneeled slowly by the sofa and slid Pearl onto the comfortable surface, frowning as she did so. Pearl was in terrible shape. When she was finished, she stayed squatting there beside Pearl, watching her intensely.

 

Garnet placed Pearl's swords on the table and went to take Jasper's place. She had helped Pearl through plenty of pain in the past and this time would be no different.

 

"I'll handle things from here," she said.

 

Only Jasper didn't move out of the way.

 

She ignored Garnet and set her mind to Pearl's arm. She took the elbow of the dislocated side and lifted it. Garnet tensed, fingers balling up over her gems.

 

"I need to ice her shoulder," Garnet said, more firmly this time.

 

"I got it," Jasper barked back. And in an instant, she grasped Pearl's upper arm and shoved it back into place with a sound that made Garnet cringe.

 

Pearl cringed first at the sound of the table clattering to the side of the room, then at the transfer from against Jasper’s chest down to the couch. She was already breathing raggedly, but the change in position exacerbated her discomfort. Laid out on the couch, her spine had to uncurl, and that meant…

 

She’d known her shoulder was out of place, but she hadn’t been sure just _how_ badly until she had to put weight on it. If Jasper hadn’t been there, staring with unrivaled intensity into her face, she would have curled away from the pain. As it was, her arm lay oddly against the couch, somewhat twisted.

 

Garnet spoke, and Pearl’s wide eyes turned toward the Fusion. Ice would have been good, she thought distantly, but her throat was dry and constricted, and suddenly Jasper’s big hand was around her elbow. Alarmed, Pearl met her gaze, instinctively aware of what was coming.

 

She didn’t have time to protest; with a sickening grating of bone on bone, Jasper rammed her displaced shoulder back into its socket. Pearl’s eyes rolled back into her head, and she slumped against the cushions bonelessly.


	3. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper decides to oversee some of Pearl's recovery. Garnet and Jasper find one thing they can agree on.

Pearl thankfully missed the very heated exchange that followed afterwards. Garnet was having trouble controlling her temper and figuring out what Jasper's angle was in all this. But Jasper insisted she'd done the right thing. It was broken and she'd fixed it. Now Pearl was resting. Problem solved!

 

Garnet eventually managed to bully her way next to the quartz to administer the cool ice of Sapphire's gem to Pearl's aching body. She just barely contained herself when Jasper made a remark about Sapphire being able to do that on her own without the help of fusion.

 

"You'd be more help if you didn't wake her," Garnet pointed out. Jasper huffed and went to pace in the spot between the kitchen and warp pad as Garnet gently guided her magic over Pearl's shoulder first before tackling any of the other affected areas.

 

Pearl would wake to find Garnet just above her, soothing her best she could without disturbing her, and Jasper peeking at her from behind the wall nearest her feet, trying her best to look casual.

 

It wasn’t long before Pearl stirred; Sapphire’s ice magic took most of the bite out of her burns, numbed her to the screaming pain of her wounds. It was familiar and certainly accelerated her healing. The neurotoxin still made her nerves throb, and in the end, _that_ was what woke her.

 

With a quiet groan, Pearl forced her eyes open. Garnet was leaning down over her, a hand passing across her battered torso, casting a faint blue glow over her skin.

 

She was disoriented, but she reached up shakily to brush tired fingers along the shoulder guard of Garnet’s armor. “Garnet,” she murmured, voice thick with exhaustion. “We did it?”

 

"We did it. Especially you," Garnet said softly, letting her hand pause by Pearl's stomach. She used her other to brush the soft coral hair away from her face, and she gave her an encouraging smile.

 

"Your hard work was worth it. Now you need to rest."

 

Jasper stared at the pair of them suspiciously and folded her arms, leaning herself up against the wall. Otherwise, she remained silent.

 

Pearl knew without having to ask that resting would mean being trapped on the couch for the foreseeable future, and while she was exhausted enough right now to comply, she didn’t doubt that she would be stir-crazy long before her wounds were fully healed. Still, Garnet’s smile brought color to her pale cheeks, and her lips turned upward of their own accord. She tried to lift her hand to the Fusion’s cheek, but the effort was too great; she dropped her hand to her chest instead, cringing at the impact.

 

“As long as you’re alright,” Pearl murmured, letting her eyes close briefly. Memory of the fight and its aftermath danced across her vision, and she opened her eyes again, searching Garnet’s face. “Where’s Jasper?” she asked, “Did she stay…?”

 

"I'm fine," Garnet replied when Pearl got quiet, trying to ease her endless worries. She almost considered taking Pearl's hand, but decided against it when Pearl spoke again.

 

Garnet's smile faded. She glanced over her shoulder, noticing Jasper keeping her distance now that Pearl was awake. She had a feeling that if she hadn't been there that the Quartz might have gotten closer and tried to talk, but Garnet wasn't about to move.

 

"Yeah," Garnet answered, not sounding all too happy about it. "She's over there." Her head tilted in the general direction.

 

That was a bigger relief than Pearl had expected; some part of her had feared that Jasper would seize the opportunity to flee while Garnet was occupied. She tried to lift her head, but couldn’t see more than a glimpse of Jasper’s torso from her vantage point.

 

Pearl let her head drop back against the cushion with a disgruntled _oomf_. Even this had her seeing stars, despite Garnet’s care, and she reached for her precious teammate’s hand blindly. Cool fingers brushed the back of Garnet’s knuckles, and Pearl gripped her hand gingerly, ignoring her burns. “Good…” she murmured, voice heavy. That was one less thing to worry about.

 

Jasper was nothing if not adherent to Homeworld’s many rules, and it seemed that—for now—those included rules of war. Pearl was in no condition to police the Quartz now, she knew, and that made Jasper’s willingness to stay true to her word incredibly convenient.

 

For Garnet’s sake, she reopened her eyes again, smiling up at the Fusion. “Thank you for taking care of me,” she said softly, barely above a whisper.

 

"Of course," Garnet said, inwardly pleased that Pearl had taken her hand. Little contact like this was as much a part of Pearl's comfort as it was Garnet's, and it never failed to make her feel better.

 

"It's going to be a while before you're healed completely though, Pearl." She said, confirming her unspoken fears. "You were pretty reckless."

 

At this, Jasper decided it was her turn to butt in. She was tired of standing around-- wanted to get out of the tiny human dwelling or at very least get some exercise. But at the same time she felt compelled to stay, and that only added to her restless confusion.

 

"She knew what she was doing," she said, arms folded across her chest as she crossed toward the window overlooking the beach.

 

Garnet would have liked to ignore the quartz completely, but just gave her a noncommittal hum instead. Jasper turned to look at both of them completely; that wasn't the answer she was looking for.

 

"What kind of response is that, fusion? You said it yourself. The win was mostly her doing. Now she's paying for the victory and you're sitting there without a scratch."

 

This time, Garnet _did_ ignore her, focusing instead on the feeling of Pearl's soft fingers and running some of her cold magic along the scorch marks on her hand.

 

Blue eyes darted between Garnet’s face and Jasper’s, and Pearl worried her bottom lip, unsure of what to say. Or perhaps more accurately, how to say _anything_ without risking making things worse. It was plain that Jasper and Garnet weren’t going to magically start getting along—Pearl would have been a fool to expect that—but…

 

All the same, it touched her heart that Jasper would stick up for her, especially after their exchanges just before the mission.

 

Pearl swallowed, then licked too dry lips nervously. “It’s fine, Jasper,” she said finally, “I’ll heal. It’s better than both of us being out of commission.” She paused, then managed a playful grin up at the Quartz soldier from where she lay. “Besides, I doubt you’d have brought us _both_ home safe.”

 

Jasper's eyebrows furrowed.

 

"What? Are you saying I couldn't lift both of you?"

 

She scoffed, almost offended but mostly unbelieving that Pearl could really think such a thing.

 

"I could lift the two of you with one hand!"

 

Her eyes darted to Garnet.

 

"Get up, fusion!"

 

"I am not gettin' up so you can lift me," Garnet replied seriously. Even if Jasper had bothered to use her name, Garnet was very comfortable with her hand still in Pearl's and her dignity intact. Being picked up by her war prisoner just so said prisoner could boast about her muscles in front of Pearl?

 

Not going to happen.

 

"Come on. Just get up," Jasper insisted. Contrary to Garnet, she wasn't going to let Pearl think she was weak. Especially not after the display Pearl had put on proving she was anything but.

 

Despite herself, and despite knowing full well that her aching ribs—aching _everything,_ really—wouldn’t take it well, Pearl felt laughter bubbling up in her throat, and though she tried to stifle it with her free hand, it didn’t do much good.

 

“I’m sure you _could_ , Jasper,” she said placatingly, shaking her head. “And now, I know that you _would_.”

 

Jasper paused. She looked away, feeling slightly as if she'd been tricked. What had compelled her to carry Pearl back to safety wouldn't have worked with the fusion. Maybe her separate parts, if they bothered to show even half the courage Pearl had. But not while she hid behind some kind of permanent wall, two Gems forced together to make one lie.

 

"I only did what any soldier would have done," she defended herself unnecessarily-- and perhaps even poorly. "Enemy or not, I'm stuck with you treasonous Gems," she muttered.

 

Pearl was quiet for a moment, watching Jasper even after she’d turned away. Her poor defense spoke volumes about her character, and Pearl finally had the clarity to think of it despite her pain.

 

She’d known many soldiers—mostly on Homeworld’s side—who would never have done something so honorable. Many, many surprise attacks on enemy camps had taught her that some Gems simply didn’t have it in them to protect their comrades. Those that did were the hardest to poof, more often than not. But some of Rose’s own army had left comrades behind, cost them valuable numbers to save their own skins.

 

That Jasper herself hadn’t been in any danger didn’t really factor into things.

 

She wondered briefly what Jasper would have been like fighting on their side of the war—and if she would have made it through the way she and Garnet had. Her hold on Garnet’s hand tightened minutely, and she looked up at her comrade before glancing back at Jasper.

 

“I truly appreciate it,” Pearl said softly, “Enemies or not. It was honorable of you.”

 

"Honor is all that really matters to a soldier," she said. And for her, that had always been true. Her entire life had been a struggle for honor. Getting it, losing it, trying to rebuild it. The very real thought that all she had worked so hard to establish was very much slipping away from her as they spoke was not comforting. She ran her tongue along her sharp teeth as she thought, her eyes falling onto Garnet's hands as she worked on easing Pearl's wounds.

 

Only she wasn't even doing anything. Her gaze narrowed.

 

"Hey," she growled out. "You aren't even helping her anymore. You're just sitting there."

 

Garnet felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her despite the fact she wouldn't show it. She really was just holding Pearl's hand at this point, doing little good for her. She wasn't surprised Jasper noticed, but the comment was unexpected. She let Pearl's hand go.

 

"I've done about all I can do for now," the fusion confessed, mostly to Pearl.

 

Pearl, on the other hand, flushed neatly up to her hairline, turning her gaze away as Garnet released her hand. She hadn’t noticed—not really. But then, most of her sores were still chilled, and the ones that weren’t were less pressing.

 

“I-it’s fine,” Pearl managed despite her mounting embarrassment, cheeks a brilliant teal that she didn’t doubt the others would notice. Garnet no doubt already knew about her arguably inappropriate feelings toward the _de facto_ leader of the Crystal Gems, but Jasper certainly didn’t need to be aware of those. She swallowed hard. “I do feel much better. Thank you, Garnet.”

 

"It's no problem," Garnet replied, keeping her expression and tone as neutral as possible. It hadn't been, of course. She only wished... Well, she wished it were the right time for the two of them. It just never seemed to be. And now with Jasper and Lapis under their watch, she didn't expect anything to come of their unresolved feelings any time soon.

 

Garnet got to her feet and turned her attention to their restless prisoner, who was glancing between the pair of them. Pearl's peculiar reaction didn't go unnoticed, but she kept her observation to herself.

 

"What?" She asked Garnet sharply. When Garnet didn't respond immediately, she got frustrated.

 

"What do you want? I can't tell where you're staring. Why don't you take that thing off your face? We both know what you are."

 

Garnet's heart beat a little quicker.

 

"You still have no idea what I am," she said, holding back the emotion fighting to come out of her. She sounded so calm. So sure. Good, she thought.

 

"I think I have an idea," Jasper replied lowly. But truly their experiences with fusion were so vastly different that the two wouldn't see eye to eye unless some miracle took place.

 

"Is she always like this?" Jasper asked, looking directly past Garnet and to Pearl now.

 

Pearl watched the two of them with increasing alarm, eyes wide. If things escalated between them—Pearl knew she was in no position to try to break up a fight between the two bigger Gems, knew that the house wouldn’t survive them coming to blows.

 

“Ah…” Pearl faltered, “W-well… she is quiet. And she doesn’t really take her visor off, generally. You’ll get used to it.” She hoped. The alternative—where they stayed volatile and on edge at all times—wasn’t promising at all. She sighed. “She isn’t doing it _to_ upset you.”

 

"Oh, I'm sure she isn't," Jasper replied sarcastically. "She's just staring at me because she likes what she sees."

 

"Believe me, I don't," Garnet quipped, and Jasper took a step toward her, reminding her who the biggest Gem in the room was.

 

"That makes two of us, fusion."

 

The tension hung in the air for a moment, both of them on the brink of breaking from their shared silence in favor of knocking the other to the floor. This was exactly why Garnet hadn't wanted to return to the beach house at all. But with Pearl as she was, she wasn't sure she could leave her be. She didn't exactly trust Jasper.

 

"Please don't make me get between you two," Pearl groaned, beginning to push herself up on trembling arms. Her left arm, still weakened from the Moon Jelly's blow, gave under her weight. The alabaster Gem let loose a string of language more colorful than she had allowed herself in decades, doubling over and clutching her shoulder with her right hand.

 

"Pearl!"

 

Garnet wheeled around immediately, her face very nearly flushing when she heard the words coming out of Pearl's mouth. But any embarrassment she could have felt was immediately overwhelmed with the urge to help Pearl and the guilt of having very little power to actually do so. Still, she was by Pearl's side as soon as she could be.

 

Garnet frowned heavily.

 

"That's it. I'm not leavin' you here. You can't even sit up on your own."

 

Oddly enough, Garnet was too concerned to notice her shoulder bumping against Jasper's. The quartz had been just as quick to drop to Pearl's side, and her hand had found Pearl's lower back without her thinking of it. She held it there, trying to give her added support.

 

When the initial burst of white-hot pain had cleared from her vision, Pearl was honestly shocked by the sight of the two other Gems in such close proximity. Distantly, she registered that the hand spanning her back must have been Jasper’s—too big to be Garnet’s, unless she’d summoned her gauntlets for some reason.

 

She didn’t know what to make of that.

 

Breathing hurt, and talking was really no better, but Pearl looked from one Gem to the other, brows knitted together from the effort of trying to keep her thoughts linear.

 

“The one thing you two seem to agree on is that you don’t want me getting off this couch,” Pearl said slowly, meeting Jasper’s gaze. “You agreed not to fight. On your honor,” she turned to Garnet. “And I’ll be fine, but not if I have to break you two up. I think it goes without saying that you two would demolish me right now.”

 

Garnet felt heavy guilt sink in her throat, a little ashamed that the only reason Pearl had tried to get up was to pull her and Jasper away from one another. But she wasn't about to let Jasper think she could just get away with making any offensive comments she wanted.

 

Speaking of which.

 

"I'm not fighting," Jasper assured Pearl. "The fusion is the one trying to make problems."

 

Garnet wasn't going to give her any attention, she decided.

 

"I'm gettin' you some of Steven's pillows," Garnet said to Pearl, getting up and starting for the loft bedroom. Putting some distance between herself and Jasper right now would be a good idea.

 

Pearl’s gaze followed Garnet as far as she could, which admittedly wasn’t very far from where she lay. Instead, with a sigh, she turned her attention back to Jasper. “She’s not, not deliberately,” Pearl said softly, gingerly setting a hand on the Quartz’s arm. “I know it’s easy to see it that way. You’re both hardheaded warriors. But really, there’s no reason for you two to fight. That’s the point of a truce.”

 

Jasper's skin prickled beneath Pearl's soft touch. She almost pulled away but remembered, or perhaps realized, it was _she_ who had invaded Pearl's physical space first. And the evidence was right there; her hand still splayed against Pearl's back. That didn't stop her eyes from lingering on Pearl's hand, moving back up to her eyes before she spoke again.

 

"This truce isn't exactly on my terms. I'm trapped on this planet. I really don't have any other options."

 

“I know,” Pearl murmured, gaze flitting away. Ideally, Jasper would have been sent back to Homeworld, one way or another, preferably with a message to her Diamond indicating that Earth wasn’t worth Her time. But ideals were as good as wishes.

 

She did muster up the courage to look Jasper in the eye again, giving her arm a squeeze. “That’s why we’re going to try to make it… pleasant, tolerable, whichever you’re agreeable to. We don’t really have any other options, either.”

 

Jasper clicked her teeth. Tolerable was going to be a stretch at this point.

 

"Guess I only really have myself to blame for this," she said, slowly extracting herself from Pearl's grasp. Last to go was the hand she had against Pearl's back. While wondering why Pearl cared at all, she found she could ask herself the same thing. Why did she care? At least she could blame her severe confusion on the fact that she hadn't exactly been herself in what felt like forever.

 

Without Jasper’s hand to support her, Pearl slowly eased herself back down against the couch, but her gaze never wavered. “You think so?” she asked, genuinely curious. The easy thing would have been to blame Rose—so many Gems had in the past—but then, easier still would have been blaming Yellow Diamond.

 

Pearl knew not to suggest something like that, though. Loyalty to one’s Diamond ran deep, and Jasper didn’t need radical ideas from a renegade Pearl making her question that. Not yet.

 

"I just thought..." Her eyes darted towards Pearl's face and she shook her head. She was not eager to talk to any Gem honestly, and Pearl wasn't going to be the exception.

 

Jasper turned a bit so that she could lean against the sofa where she sat, getting comfortable as Garnet returned with the pillows. She'd been eyeing the pair suspiciously. Jasper didn't seem to be doing anything wrong, but there was something strange about the way she was acting. It occurred to Garnet that she might actually have more respect for Pearl than she did for any fusion. Well, that was fine by Garnet. She couldn't say she had much respect for Jasper.

 

"Here," Garnet said, holding out the pillow to Pearl a bit awkwardly.

 

Pearl was surprised at her own disappointment when Jasper dropped the topic entirely, but she decided against pushing it. If Jasper wanted to talk, she didn’t doubt she would—whatever had changed her mind was immense progress toward a better truce, even if they had to take baby steps. Maybe Steven’s tendency to work miracles would turn the Quartz soldier around, too.

 

Garnet startled her out of her thoughts, and Pearl looked up at her, briefly surprised. “You sneak,” she said fondly, reaching up for the pillow with her good arm. She made no secret of brushing her fingers along Garnet’s as she took the item from her, hoping to reassure her as much as she could. Garnet wasn’t the only one who took great comfort from contact whenever they shared it.

 

It was harder, trying to place the pillow under her head, but Pearl managed, only mildly put out by her inability to straighten the thing. She was certain it was at some horribly uneven angle, but after several tries, and with her strength rapidly draining, she had no choice but to give up. At least Jasper wasn’t likely to notice.

 

"I promised Steven I would be back to check on him," Garnet said, looking at Pearl and searching for any hint of worry. This was one plan she would rely on Pearl for-- if the other Gem showed any sign of being uncomfortable with idea of being left alone with Jasper, she would find any excuse to stay. But, as it stood, things seemed to be fine... She would issue a warning to Jasper, of course, if it came to that.

 

Pearl managed a smile that she could only hope was reassuring, even upside down, for Garnet’s sake. “I was going to ask,” she admitted. As much as she would have preferred to be with Garnet when she was like this—Jasper or no Jasper—Steven was always their number one priority. “Be careful around Lapis… though I’m sure if you were able to slip away at all, she must be behaving _somewhat_.”

 

"She was... oddly quiet," Garnet replied, not wanting to give too much information away in front of Jasper. Not yet. She could tell even the mention of Lapis was setting her in a sour mood.

 

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Garnet assured Pearl, wishing she could squeeze her friend's shoulder like she normally would. But Pearl was in no position for that. She settled instead on turning towards Jasper and giving her a stern look.

 

"You are going to stay here and keep everything in its place. If you hurt Pearl..." Garnet paused, for only a fraction of a second. Perhaps for effect or perhaps considering her words carefully. "Or anything else, you'll be answering to me."

 

Jasper looked up at the fusion.

 

"Well then. In that case, she's going to be even better when you get back."

 

Garnet was silent for a long moment. This time, Jasper didn't flinch under her gaze.

 

"Alright." Garnet said with finality, and she left without taking any glances back.

 

The warning didn’t go without notice—and Pearl had a sneaking suspicion that even if she did make a miraculous recovery, Jasper would make absolutely certain that she stayed right where she was. Pearl waved after Garnet as she left, dropping her hand to the couch once the Fusion disappeared down the stairs.

 

Pearl sighed. She didn’t know what to say or do with the tables turned. Jasper was watching over her now, and she certainly hadn’t expected _that_ in a million years.

 

“Could I ask you something?” Pearl asked at length, adding; “About Homeworld. You don’t have to answer, of course, but…”

 

Jasper had been watching Garnet go, but turned her attention back on Pearl as she spoke. She shrugged noncommittally.

 

"Go ahead and ask. Doesn't mean you'll get an answer," she said, almost grinning.

 

“Of course,” Pearl said, trying to think of how to phrase her inquiry. She knew not to mention Lapis’ message, but she’d wondered for so long…

 

_\--Homeworld is not the way it used to be. Everything here is so advanced! I can't even understand it…--_

The alabaster Gem worried her lip, then sighed heavily. “I haven’t been there in so long. You said that everything’s changed since we—left. Were the changes… good?” With the words out of her mouth, Pearl felt silly, almost traitorous for asking. But it nagged at her, had since receiving Lapis’ message.

 

"Heh," she chuckled darkly at her own joke. "Since you 'left', huh? Never heard it put that way before, 'Crystal Gem'."

 

Jasper seriously considered the question though, tilting her head back and looking up at the wooden ceiling of the house. She'd been there through the changes, and tried to recall what things were like the last time Pearl had seen it. The Homeworld Pearl abandoned was considered archaic by today's standards.

 

"Weapons tech was an improvement. Destabilizers come in handy. Everything's more powerful, quicker, deadlier. I like it." She smiled a bit.

 

"Everything is automatic. Yellow Diamond is on a mission to streamline things to maximize efficiency. It's a good plan. Progress hasn't stopped."

 

She hesitated, but then continued.

 

"Other stuff... it can be a little confusing. Peridots are wearing that junk on their hands and feet, and they walk around acting like they know more than you do just because they study manuals or whatever. I can't help that every time I get used to something, it changes."

 

Pearl listened with rapt attention, watching Jasper’s face, despite the joke at her team’s expense. It was strange to try imagining the changes; hearing it from someone who was there, who was at least her age, made it more real. She could imagine the aesthetic changes, assumed that the hand ship had been considered state of the art tech.

 

But she was even more curious about the palace, about the state of things without Pink Diamond there anymore. This she couldn’t imagine—aside from the changed emblems and the green-everything, it seemed impossible that life _inside_ the palace would have changed.

 

“Progress is… good,” she mused, but she wasn’t smiling. She couldn’t really imagine the fates of her sisters, but she didn’t know how to ask, either. “Where I came from, things didn’t change very quickly. But I suppose things would progress more with Yellow Diamond at the head of them.”

 

"Where you come from?" Jasper asked, taking a cursory glance at Pearl.

 

"Oh. I see. Hm. We don't talk about where _you're_ from anymore. Anything to do with that court's been considered treason for millennia. But no one has a reason to bring it up anymore. No one seems to care or think about that. The rebellion's old news."

 

Pearl met her eyes briefly, followed their trail up to her pink hair, and smiled wryly. “You’re very sharp,” she said, sighing. “It’s a shame. The court was fairly large.” She hoped nothing had happened to the Gems that hadn’t joined Rose’s rebellion. But that was one more cost of war to contend with. Pearl sighed again, looking away from Jasper in favor of the ceiling. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’d never see it again, anyway.”

 

"No one will. The court disbanded. Anything to do with it, destroyed. My Diamond became even more forceful after the result of the rebellion."

 

Jasper almost wanted to let her thoughts wander. There was more she could say about the state of Homeworld now that she was away from it. And the possibility was slim that she'd get to return... Well, if Pearl pressed for more information, she might just let her have it. But for now, she deflected.

 

"And yes. I am sharp," she replied smoothly. She tilted her head slightly to let her Gem catch the light and smiled. "Thank you for noticing, Pearl."

 

That sounded accurate, Pearl thought sadly. She hadn’t truly expected much else under Yellow Diamond’s rule—with the friction that had already existed between the two, it was only natural that Pink Diamond’s court would be wiped from the face of history after the rebellion. Still, it was sad to hear that her suspicions had been right—and moreover, that Rose Quartz had been wrong to hope.

 

Jasper’s next words startled her out of her thoughts, and Pearl couldn’t help the color that crept across her cheeks.

 

She’d actually called her by name, rather than designation, and somehow that realization made Pearl’s heart catch in her throat.

 

“Well—you’re—“ she stammered, finally ducking her face to hide her embarrassment. “You’re welcome. It’s hard to miss.”

 

Jasper's expression only brightened when she saw Pearl's reaction. There was something... charming about this incredibly strong, agile Pearl who had no trouble mouthing off to her suddenly looking so shy.

 

"It is, isn't it?" She continued. "But you're also very observant. Among other things."

 

Jasper, rarely one to think about her actions, impulsively reached up and titled Pearl's chin back upwards with her fingers so she could see her face more clearly.

 

The move startled her, but Pearl really had no room to draw away, not with Jasper’s fingers spanning the underside of her chin. Pearl gulped air uselessly, trying to find her thoughts, and struggling with the ones that weren’t right. Weren’t appropriate.

 

Had she really always had this weakness for Quartz Gems?

 

“It sounds like two good things came from fighting that Jelly,” Pearl managed finally, and even that sounded silly and awkward. She tried to meet Jasper’s too bright, golden gaze, and managed—just barely. Pearl mustered up the strength to smile despite her embarrassment. “You called me by name.”

 

"I did," Jasper replied, not afraid to keep looking at Pearl directly. Though her gaze did flit briefly about her face- to her namesake, her faint blush, the pink hair curled against her smooth skin. Jasper couldn't remember when she'd last taken the time to really examine another Gem, but she couldn't stop looking at Pearl. When she'd first seen her, she'd thought nothing of her. Now, that couldn't be more wrong.

 

"Seems only right to."

 

She was a pearl, yes. But Jasper was beginning to see her differently.


	4. Stage Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Jasper discuss Homeworld and Jasper's stay on Earth while Pearl is confined to the couch.

Again, Pearl’s breath caught. She’d done it, then—she’d earned Jasper’s respect with her fool-hearted tendency to fight like every monster would be her last. Somehow, that made the burns hurt a little less. It was reckless and unsustainable, but it was as much who she was now as her Gem.

 

“Thank you,” Pearl said, and she blamed her breathlessness on her condition, knowing that wasn’t entirely accurate. She swallowed hard, reaching up to curl long fingers around Jasper’s wide wrist. “That means a lot, actually.”

 

"It does?" Jasper asked, not moving her hand. All of a sudden she was feeling a confusing mix of things. Pearl wasn't practicing the frustrated, hateful tugging of her wrist like she had earlier. Instead, she was almost caressing her. A friendly gesture. Something Jasper had never experienced.

 

Her touch was indescribable. It was almost as if it wasn't there, so feather-light. Pearl was the first Gem she'd ever been gentle with... And Pearl was the first to have ever given gentleness back to her. She didn't know how to feel about it.

 

Her teeth instinctively ground together, and she felt some unexplained heat rising to the surface of her hands, her arms, all the way up to her face.

 

"Why? My first impression wasn't all that great."

 

Pearl couldn’t help chuckling a little at that. “Your first impression was _terrifying_ ,” she admitted, smiling wryly, though now—even if Jasper could easily crush her on a whim—she didn’t seem quite as intimidating. “I wanted to kill you for touching Steven, but I was so shaken by what you did to Garnet… you would’ve pulverized me if I’d tried.”

 

So why, then, did Jasper’s opinion touch her now?

 

“I saw some of your fight with Garnet,” she went on, “You’re impressive. Much better than the Jaspers I fought in the war. Your experience shows. I… suppose that’s why. It’s a big step forward from earlier. And… you’re not wrong. That I’m a pearl, and we’re not meant for this kind of thing. So that makes it even more… surprising. That I could impress you, doing what I do.”

 

The compliment certainly helped bandage the wound from the reminder that Jasper had _lost_ that fight with Garnet. Jasper was ready with a response almost immediately.

 

"Forget about being a pearl," she said at first, but then amended it on second thought.

 

"Look, that does make it more impressive. Every pearl I've ever seen needs a Gem to tell her where to go and what to do. The fact that no one told you how to do what you did is worthy of my respect. Your fighting is some of the best I've ever seen. It's stylistic, but it gets the job done. The point is: you did what _most_ Gems wouldn't have the courage to. Witnessing that. It was amazing."

 

The heat was becoming concentrated in Jasper's cheeks now, but still she watched Pearl to assure her every word was the truth.

 

It was hard to miss the flush on Jasper’s cheeks now, and it only exacerbated the blue that stained Pearl’s face and neck. She was at a total loss for what to say—which was something that happened so rarely that it stunned her. A simple thank you seemed inadequate. Saying nothing seemed _wrong_.

 

Pearl’s hand traveled from Jasper’s wrist, giving her hand a squeeze, though she couldn’t really get her fingers around it. Jasper was so much larger than her that it was hard to imagine that Amethyst ever could have been the same size as the hulkingly large Quartz—even if her Purple Puma persona came close.

 

“That’s quite a lot of praise from a seasoned warrior like you,” Pearl said quietly, licking dry lips—not that it did any good. “I don’t really know what to say, other than thank you. And that seems like it’s not enough.”

 

What was happening to her? Her throat felt like it was closing up. She was pretty sure her hand was sweating, which only made her want to pry it away from Pearl's face despite the fact she wanted just the opposite. It was like all the worst symptoms of the adrenaline from a fight combined into something almost indescribably pleasant. Just watching Pearl's face fill with color made Jasper's nerves tingle and she wanted both to bolt from the room and to never, ever leave.

 

"I can suggest something," she said, voice perhaps even more gravelly than usual as she fought for her voice. "How about we 'start over'? I've decided that I'd appreciate an alliance between the two of us. And not one that's forced."

 

That was pleasantly unexpected.

 

Pearl’s eyes lit up, and her grip on Jasper’s hand tightened minimally, burns easily ignored. “I’d like that,” she said, smiling warmly. “I think that’s an excellent suggestion.” She paused, and added, teasingly; “I suppose that means you’d get the chance to fight monsters, too, if you’re so inclined.”

 

Maybe she'd been hit by some of the poison. Or infected by it when she'd picked Pearl up. That was the only explanation for the dizzying feeling she was experiencing. And it explained why, when she dropped her hand slowly from Pearl's chin, she kept holding her hand, more comfortably now and harshly noticing.

 

"Yeah. Then I can show you how I really fight," she replied, confidence shining through regardless. "You and I could take down anything. Easily."

 

Pearl nearly laughed. “Easily? Oh, stars. That would be nice, after today.” She knew better than to say so, but even with Jasper’s alliance, Garnet was right that monsters were never easy. They were erratic and overly powerful—sometimes ten times the strength of the Gems that had made them up.

 

The smaller cluster experiments were easy enough, but Pearl wasn’t sure that she wanted to imagine fighting something the Moon Jelly’s size with several fragmented Gems’ strength to draw from.

 

“I’m sure Steven will be very excited to see you in action, too,” Pearl added, “Even if, like today, we try to keep him out of the really dangerous missions.”

 

Jasper still didn't quite understand this whole 'Steven' business, but she nodded regardless.

 

"I've found action is the best teacher. No better way to learn than by throwing yourself into battle. I think any Gem watching you would get a good idea of how to tackle things in a fight."

 

A ghost of a smile worked itself across Jasper's face.

 

"Plus, you're nice to look at. Future quartz soldiers don't usually get that luxury during training."

 

Jasper was unashamed, unabashed as she complimented Pearl's appearance in her... unique way.

 

Pearl, on the receiving end, however, could have invented a new shade of blue with the intensity of her blush. Quartzes were often—if not all—very direct with their opinions, and Pearl knew that better than most Gems. But she was accustomed to those opinions being derisive, or easily ignored like Amethyst’s were.

 

She tried, vainly, to splutter out a response. Jasper must have been joking. She couldn’t be serious. She was surely teasing.

 

Instead, she tried to deflect.

 

“W-well, he has a lot of growing to do,” she explained, glancing away from Jasper’s piercing eyes. She’d stared too long already. “His human half makes it… difficult to just let him train, the way Gems would. But he’s getting much better. Sooner or later, I’m sure he’ll want to fight Amethyst, to see how he sizes up.”

 

Pearl hadn't batted her away with her good hand at the comment. In fact, Pearl hadn't let go of Jasper's hand at all, and Jasper was aware of that fact. She did, however break their shared gaze. Jasper didn't mind all that much. She'd wanted some kind of response, after all, and she'd gotten one. Maybe she was having a little _too_ much fun with this teasing.

 

"He can start with the Amethyst, sure. But if you really want to push him to be great, well." She lifted an arm and flexed. "You've just made yourself the perfect alliance."

 

It was easy to forget that she’d placed her hand anywhere, almost distressingly easy to settle into this kind of back-and-forth with her new ally. Pearl couldn’t help giggling, and tried to lift her left hand to stifle herself, but winced at the effort, gripping Jasper’s hand as she grimaced. It was a good distraction until the pain passed.

 

“This had better not take more than a day to heal up,” she mumbled, finally releasing Jasper’s hand to rub at her battered shoulder. That only made the pain worse, but at least she could feel where the swelling was most intense. She was lucky that she’d only dislocated her arm earlier. “I can’t take being stuck in one place very long.”

 

"Neither can I. And yet, here I am. Stuck on Earth."

 

Jasper tried to make light of the fact, but truly she was restless already. The planet was small, distant and disconnected. How she'd stay sane she had no idea. But having an ally was a start.

 

"You've been here for millennia. How can you stand it?"

 

Pearl peered up at her, considering for a long while. For someone like Jasper, who would have traveled to countless worlds to resolve conflict with violence, who could visit other worlds whenever she needed to, it had to be incredibly stifling to stay on a small, techless planet for longer than it took to push back the enemy.

 

Stuck on Earth… she knew the feeling. But at least she had good memories on this silly blue planet.

 

“I suppose back on Homeworld, I didn’t get to see much at all, outside of the court,” Pearl started, brows furrowed with thought. “I’ve been on Earth most of my life… I’m used to it. There are so many different biomes here, some places _look_ like other worlds. It makes it a little easier. And Rose loved it here.” She paused, considering the wisdom of continuing that train of thought, and decided against it. “The world grows and changes so _fast_ here. It’s… nice. It has its own charm. Plus,” Pearl managed a lopsided grin, “I’ve gotten to spend most of the time fighting alongside good friends, overcoming monsters that would make my sisters faint. I’ll admit, I like that.”

 

Jasper matched Pearl's grin.

 

"I knew it. You get a kick out of being a rebel. Do you have any respect for authority?"

 

The larger Gem folded her arms comfortably across her chest. She looked out across the wooden floor in thought; her gaze wandered to the strange kitchen area, it's purpose and meaning completely lost on her. The counter was still visibly dented from where she'd brought her fists down onto it earlier. But sitting here with Pearl now, the anger was mostly gone. And while that was confusing, Jasper felt too calm to question it.

 

She'd been taught that the Earth was no longer useful. That it was a lost cause and that it would soon be nothing more than splintered rock floating through an endless galaxy. But what if Pearl's words had merit to them? What if there was more to see?

 

"Actually... I haven't seen much of Homeworld myself," Jasper confessed. "Not since after the war."

 

Pearl almost laughed, but caught herself, saving her aching ribs—this time. Pearl watched Jasper, acutely interested in the way she seemed to have relaxed. “You haven’t?” she asked, genuinely surprised. It hadn’t occurred to her that she might have been sent to other planets for _most_ of the past several thousand years. “Are they at war with someone else?”

 

"Yellow Diamond became determined to end any wars before they started. And it's worked for Her. Underdeveloped colonies have learned that their options are to either fall into Gem control or be suffocated-- bled out until they're forced to surrender to avoid collapsing completely."

 

Jasper's tone didn't sound all that nationalistic. Not like Peridot, who might have talked of Her Diamond's ruthless tactics with fanciful words and certain admiration. Jasper had to hear plenty of that on the trip to Earth.

 

"But, as I'm sure you can imagine, She wasn't pleased with our loss on Earth. Any soldiers that survived didn't get a warm welcome when we returned."

 

Now there was a clear bitterness in her voice, and she purposefully avoided looking at Pearl.

 

The news stunned Pearl briefly, and she stared, mouth open, however slightly. “But… you fought so bravely,” she protested, trying not to think of other rebellions crushed under Yellow Diamond’s heel. Other worlds that might have been like Earth, with life and potential unrealized. Pearl’s brows furrowed, and she reached for Jasper again, settling a hand on the bigger Gem’s shoulder. “Our win—Jasper, we barely held your side _off_.” Her voice dropped. “I’m sure you were a force to be reckoned with all on your own, Jasper.”

 

Jasper flinched when she felt Pearl's touch at her shoulder, but she didn't tear away. It was only an unfamiliar gesture.

 

"A loss is a loss," Jasper replied. "It didn't matter to Yellow Diamond. As far as she was concerned, we only aided in humiliating her."

 

She allowed herself a sidelong glance at Pearl. She appeared to be truly invested, urging Jasper against any shame she'd been holding onto for hundreds, thousands, of years.

 

"Look at me now, Pearl. Assigned to bodyguard a Peridot on mission to collect some numbers. And to an abandoned colony so ripe with organics that no Gem would be impressed by anything I had to say about it."

 

The flinch almost had Pearl withdrawing, but she wasn’t fast enough, and when Jasper spoke she decided against removing her hand altogether. Instead, she leaned in, marginally closer to better meet her gaze. Pearl couldn’t truly say she was surprised by Yellow Diamond’s cruelty to her own soldiers—even her best soldiers were grown to be disposable. In the end, in her mind, everything had always been about numbers and statistics.

 

“I don’t see that,” Pearl said quietly, swallowing hard. “If that’s what Yellow Diamond sees, she’s wasting your talents. You’re one of the most… frustratingly capable adversaries I’ve ever seen, and I didn’t even get to fight you. You’re one of the oldest Quartz soldiers I’ve ever met, and you have the skill to show for it. I know you don’t think much of Garnet, but I’ve never seen a single enemy give her so much trouble, not in thousands of years.”

 

Jasper blinked at Pearl, attention back on her face as she spoke. She cleared her throat in the following silence. Slowly, she lifted a hand and placed it on top of Pearl's. She seemed to truly care about how Jasper perceived the situation. And while Jasper may not have been thoroughly convinced, she did feel... better.

 

"Uh. Thanks, Pearl."

 

She'd never imagined herself thanking a pearl before. She never imagined she'd spend enough time with one to have anything to be thankful for.

 

"For the morale boost," she added. Her eyes flashed with something like delight. "And you know, once you get healed up, I'll show you my talents up close. We'll spar. You and me."

 

Sparring sounded like something between disastrous and wonderful--Pearl gave Jasper's shoulder a soft squeeze, smiling warmly.

 

"I think I'd like that very much," she admitted. "Do you want to use weapons, or hand-to-hand?"

 

Jasper considered the question for a moment, letting her hand drop to her knee.

 

"I better let you choose. We both know who's going to win," she shot back playfully.

 

"I promise I'll let you lose gracefully," Pearl teased back, patting her shoulder gingerly.

 

She had to think on that, too. "Since your primary weapon is your helmet, we probably shouldn't use weapons... I enjoy my Gem uncracked."

 

"If you preferred it any other way, there'd be a serious problem," Jasper pointed out. "But alright. Hand to hand it is."

 

She glanced at the hand that had just landed on her shoulder once more and then gave Pearl a questioning look.

 

"Just seems unfair. You've got those little dainty hands."

 

Jasper lifted her own comparatively massive, calloused palms to illustrate her point.

 

Pearl’s gaze traveled to Jasper’s hands. The bigger Gem was right, of course. She’d be at a serious disadvantage without _some_ kind of ranged weapon. On a whim, she reached over with her left arm, ignoring the strain in favor of placing her palm, fingers spread, in the center of Jasper’s.

 

Yes, there was no question that Jasper would be the winner without weapons.

 

“I suppose we’ll have to be sportsman-like,” Pearl mused, “Even if the odds are slightly—“ _Overwhelmingly_ , “—in your favor.”

 

Jasper smiled, lifting her hand slightly closer so Pearl wouldn't have to reach quite as far. No part of her would admit it, but the soldier was really enjoying the attention. And though she didn't care to dwell on why, it could easily have been blamed on the lack of interaction she'd had with any Gem back on Homeworld. Even without Homeworld's strict rules, growing more suffocating by each rotation, Gems just didn't show any care there.

 

She inspected Pearl more closely. These dainty fingers had aided in winning a war? Rose Quartz might have been backwards in her ideas, but she must have known something Jasper didn't.

 

"Maybe you can use something, then. I wouldn't object to that."

 

The gesture didn’t go unnoticed; doubly so at the eased strain in her shoulder. Pearl was distantly aware of how strange her position must have been, sprawled out on Steven’s couch with one hand on Jasper’s shoulder, the other massively dwarfed by her palm alone. It was strange, she thought, how easily she fell into something friendly and affectionate with her new ally. Almost too easy.

 

Pearl couldn’t fathom how or why that was the case. A few hours ago, she wouldn’t have believed it was possible.

 

“I’ll see if Amethyst has anything,” she mused, “Most of my weapons are swords, and I’m not looking to run you through in a sparring match.”

 

"Heh." Jasper was amused at the thought. Earlier Pearl seemed about ready to drive her swords right through her gut without regret. She might have been glad to do so, multiple times. And now there they sat as if they were old friends sharing stories.

 

Something about it felt comfortable. Something about _Pearl_ felt comfortable. The more she let herself dwell on it in the silence, the less sense it made.

 

"...What do you think they're doing?"

 

The question wasn’t one Pearl was prepared for, and she frowned a little. She was certain that Garnet wouldn’t have left in the first place if Lapis were a threat, but then, she couldn’t imagine the former member of Blue Diamond’s court being anything but.

 

“I’m not sure,” Pearl admitted at length, somewhat perplexed. “I imagine Steven must have things under control with her, but… like you said earlier, Lapis is crazy and unpredictable. I _hope_ they’re alright.” She paused, “She beat us once before, when we first… met. Before she escaped to Homeworld. She tried to take the planet’s ocean with her.”

 

The quartz scoffed. And suddenly, with the mention of Lapis, the calmness was dissipating.

 

"I'm not surprised. She won't agree to being taken prisoner again. She doesn't have any sense-- she's a miscreant-- she's as bad as--!"

 

Jasper caught herself. Remembered whose hand was on her own. She drew in on herself without breaking their contact, furrowing her brow and scowling.

 

Pearl was silent for a long stretch, watching the tension on Jasper’s face. Then, daringly, she leaned closer, tipping her head to press her temple to Jasper’s, half buried in her incredible mane of hair. “I’m glad we’re here, then,” she said softly, “So you don’t have to deal with her. Especially if she’s worse than the rest of us.”

 

Jasper froze in place. Here she was, seconds from insulting the rebels. And one of the Crystal Gems' remaining members, perhaps the most determined of them all, was showing her... Mercy? _Kindness_?

 

The heat was back full force, burning Jasper's face like nothing else when Pearl leaned against her. Pearl's voice was light, melodious as she spoke. But even though it eliminated all thoughts of Lapis, it did nothing to set her at ease. She only found herself flustered for an entirely different reason.

 

This time she did scoot away, putting some distance between the two of them and staring a hole into the floor so Pearl wouldn't see her face.

 

Without Jasper to lean on, Pearl’s left hand very nearly found the floor—along with the rest of her—but she managed to recalibrate her balance with a wave of her left leg, rolling onto her back. It hurt, but it was better than falling off the couch.

 

She wasn’t winded, but she grunted in discomfort as her shoulder came back in contact with the couch. Pearl closed her eyes briefly against the pain, considerably duller than it had been earlier.

 

“I’m sorry,” Pearl said, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Jasper.”

 

"What? You didn't!" Jasper barked, trying to squash down her feelings. She got to her feet and started to pace again, this time towards the front window overlooking the beach.

 

"I just thought I saw something!" She folded her arms across her chest and stood tall, trying to cover for any momentary loss of face. She'd let a pearl get to her. Was she really this easily swayed? Why did so much of her not want to resist? The answers weren't with her, and they weren't written out in the Earth's sand either. That meant there was nothing but the ocean to really set her eyes on, so she turned once more and looked in Pearl's direction.

 

How very Quartz-like, Pearl couldn’t help thinking, and she turned her head to watch Jasper as she paced. She was envious; right now, she knew better than to think that she could get up, herself. Even righting herself on the couch had taken too much energy, more effort than she’d let show on her face, for pride’s sake alone.

 

When Jasper looked toward her again, she managed a smile. “As you say,” she agreed without really committing to it. She didn’t press the issue, though. “If you’re feeling cooped up, the beach is all yours. I doubt the porch would interest you.” Pearl considered for a bit, then sighed, “I may try to sleep, though I don’t know if it’ll make me heal any faster.”

 

Jasper had little desire to walk the beach. The water was a constant reminder of her immense failure, the sand was a nuisance, and the outside reeked of organic life even worse than the indoors did. She would venture out there soon enough and find something non-living to pummel.

 

For now, she flattened her lips and replied.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

“Sleeping?” Pearl asked. Everything else seemed self-explanatory. She paused, trying to think of how to explain the incredibly organic, very Earth-specific custom. “It’s something humans… and other organics do, I imagine. To regain energy at the end of the day. It’s a bit like meditating.”

 

"Hm." Jasper could think of few things she cared less about than human customs. Hearing about this would distract her, at least.

 

"Go on," she said, moving closer once more. She remained standing this time, hovering over Pearl a short distance away and still hardly understanding.

 

Pearl paused, trying to think of how to properly explain. “Well… you lay down first, then close your eyes and get comfortable. Steven says you can’t talk and sleep, but I’ve seen him do it,” she mused, “The goal is to let your mind rest, and your body too. Sometimes, your subconscious will… well, it’s silly.” She flushed a little, not particularly eager to explain her limited experiences with dreaming to Jasper. “You know you’ve achieved sleeping when you lose touch with the rest of the world—your subconscious starts making up… images, sounds, stories that aren’t real. They don’t make sense. But when you wake up again, time has passed, and you feel refreshed.”

 

"What?" Jasper asked again, bewildered that a Gem as obviously smart as Pearl was going to submit to such a gimmick.

 

"That has got to be the worst plan I have ever heard. Closing your eyes and shutting down leaves you completely exposed! If you're seeing things that aren't real, what's going to stop someone from sneaking up on you while you're distracted?"

 

Jasper moved then to sit on the couch with her.

 

"If you're going to do something that stupid, then I'm not going anywhere. I'll make sure nothing happens. Then at least you might heal."

 

And if she did that, Jasper would have plenty to gloat about when the fusion returned.


	5. Dreamscape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Pearl's tendency to project her nightmares has an unexpected positive side-effect.

The couch sagged considerably under Jasper’s added weight, and Pearl felt color bloom across her cheeks and nose. Oh dear. If Jasper were planning to stay up with her, that would mean…

 

“I should probably warn you,” Pearl started, averting her eyes in a vain attempt to hide her embarrassment. “I tend to, ah… that is, if I do fall asleep—my Gem sometimes projects images.” She swallowed hard, worrying her bottom lip hard enough that it hurt. “Steven says they’re dreams, but I really can’t guess what you’ll see if it happens.”

 

"Yeah, alright, whatever. I've seen pearls project things before." Jasper dismissed the concern easily, having no clue what Pearl was trying to explain. She was eager to get Pearl asleep so that she would heal up before the fusion got back. She recalled Garnet getting Pearl soft things and asking her if she needed anything. Maybe the same tactic would apply to this.

 

"You said the first thing you have to do is get comfortable. What can I do to help?" Jasper asked.

 

Oh, stars—Jasper asking was completely unlike her best friend asking anything like that. Pearl’s flush could have lit up a dark cave. “Ah—I’m fine! I don’t know if there’s anything…” she trailed off, laughing uneasily. The alabaster Gem turned on her side, relieving weight on her shoulder. She pressed her face into the pillow, closing her eyes. “Just being here is nice of you. Thank you, Jasper.”

 

Jasper didn't seem to think anything of it, missing the meaning behind Pearl's blush as she hid it away best she could. She also didn't think her being there was particularly 'nice' but she wouldn't argue. Not while Pearl was apparently trying to put herself into some catatonic state.

 

"Okay," she said, arms folded up as she prepared to wait for this to pass. "So... it just happens now or what?"

 

“More or less… I think,” Pearl admitted, drawing in a deep breath as she tried to center herself. The hardest part, she found, was trying not to think about the Gem beside her. Jasper’s presence was comforting, in a way, but also incredibly distracting. It was one thing trying to fall asleep to the familiar sounds of Amethyst and Steven sleeping; she knew their breathing rhythms by heart, knew the way Steven’s breath sometimes caught before he snored. The house, the sea, the wind chime outside—these sounds were all familiar and comforting.

 

Jasper’s presence, however…

 

“You’re supposed to clear your mind of all distractions,” Pearl said softly, curling her long legs up near her chest. Her back ached in protest, but it felt better—safer—to curl inward just a little. “Which’s a little difficult, in practice.”

 

"Oh," Jasper said, thinking nothing of her own possible interference. She was there to guard her now, after all. She observed the room for other distractions. There didn't seem to be many. It was mostly quiet, or about as quiet as the constantly active Earth could be. Jasper was distracted mostly by Pearl, her eyes always coming back to the slender Gem.

 

But Pearl had said something about not talking while she was trying to sleep. Jasper shut her mouth and breathed more quietly, not moving save for the rise and fall of her chest.

 

It wasn’t dark outside just yet; the summer sun didn’t set until very late, even this far north, but it was well into the evening. Pearl sighed softly, absently extending her left arm as she tried to get comfortable, and her fingers brushed Jasper’s hip just slightly before she curled her hand. It had been accidental, but that didn’t save Pearl from the embarrassment that came with it.

 

She didn’t know what to say, and her breath grew stale in her lungs before she let it out in a sigh. “Good night,” she murmured, almost out of habit—there really was no other phrase that came to her as her exhaustion settled in, claiming her much more quickly than sleep normally would have.

 

And with Jasper there, somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to worry about being vulnerable or enfeebled.

 

Just as she’d suspected, it wasn’t long before her Gem flickered to life, casting a perfect hologram where the coffee table should have been.

 

Despite her perfectly measured breathing, and the gradual loss of tension in her battered body, her dream was anything but peaceful. The Strawberry Battlefield was all too recognizable, strewn with massive weapons that had mostly belonged to Fusions—multi-Quartz Fusions, large enough to put Jasper to shame.

 

And in her dream, Pearl, badly injured and millennia younger, was waiting for one to pass—crouched behind a massive battleaxe embedded in the earth and clutching a broken arm to her slim chest.

 

The Fusion passed, and the young Gem exhaled before stumbling to her feet again and taking off at a run. She needed to get back to Rose Quartz, and fast.

 

At first, Jasper didn't know what to make of the projection. It caught her attention immediately, the image coming to life right before her eyes. So this is what Pearl had meant. It wasn't like anything she'd seen another Gem produce.

 

It looked like a memory of the war.

 

Jasper recognized the battlefield. Her battalion had passed through the area, some time after it had been trampled and littered with weapons, sparkling shards, and dust. But Pearl was there, clearly, in a different form and a different era. Jasper leaned forward slightly with interest, taking in all the details.

 

Pearl didn't seem to be in any kind of fighting condition, scratched, bruised, and holding onto her one arm. The parallel between that and her current state, curled up on the couch with a bad shoulder, was easy to draw. These sorts of memories were probably common for Pearl. At least, Jasper knew they were for _her_.

 

The quartz watched the holographic Pearl intently. Whatever her next move was, she had a clear look of determination on her face.

 

Determination was something Pearl had never been short of. It was one of the few things that had gotten her through the war.

 

She ran doggedly, stopping frequently. The pain in her arm was immeasurable. It was the first time a blow from a mace hadn’t been enough to poof her, and it was through sheer force of will that she remained on her feet. Sometimes the world flickered as Pearl’s consciousness in the memory tried to fade, but for the most part, the endless battlefield that stretched before her was concrete.

 

Pearl’s progress was slow. The dream distorted her memory, but she picked up a fallen comrade’s scimitar along the way—a human who had joined their cause fool heartedly. In her dream, she had Connie’s face. She stopped only long enough to search the woman’s pouch for Gems, and bubbled the ones she recognized with some effort. Sending these back to base to be sorted was easy; leaving behind unrecognizable shards that couldn’t be salvaged wasn’t.

 

She continued on, finally coming to the outskirts of the forest that kept Rose’s Garden safely hidden, protected by her liege’s sentient plant soldiers. Pearl finally stopped to catch her bearings, unfamiliar scimitar in hand, ready to defend but little else. The weight was poor; human craftsmanship often was in this era.

 

Very suddenly, she whirled, ignoring pain that blurred her vision, ready to fight—only to come face-to-face with the one Gem in Rose’s dwindling army that she trusted as much as Rose herself.

 

Garnet had her gauntlets drawn and ready, and looked altogether different from the Fusion Jasper had met. Splotchy hair, an asymmetrical uniform with no star, and no visor—and more than that, an obvious _newness_ that even a dream couldn’t hide. Garnet was still being trained, and her gauntlets vanished immediately.

 

Garnet mouthed Pearl’s name, eyes wide with worry, and Pearl stumbled toward her. Whatever words they exchanged were lost; Pearl’s projection had no sound, this time, but it wasn’t long before the Fusion had an arm around Pearl’s waist, opposite gauntlet re-summoned and at the ready.

 

Together, they walked through the relative safety of the forest. Pearl made her report despite Garnet’s protests—she was in no condition, she needed to conserve energy—and they eventually made it to Rose’s healing spring.

 

It wasn’t yet complete, of course, but for lack of finding Rose Quartz anywhere but the battlefield, it was Pearl’s best option. Garnet set the bone with trembling hands, and Pearl’s vision swam again. Still, she persevered. Her Gem wasn’t cracked, but dipping her arm in the magic water still helped.

 

It took time they didn’t have. Another Gem arrived—another frail thing, a Rhodochrosite from Pink Diamond’s court—to relieve Pearl of her borrowed sword. Pearl insisted on keeping it and let Garnet tuck it away in her Gem. It was better to honor the fallen however they could. Rose would want it that way.

 

The Gem couldn’t argue with Rose’s renegade, but she did check her over for injuries Garnet may have missed. Pearl protested, and Garnet held her still, kept her from completely disregarding their nurse. Rhodochrosite had her position for a reason.

 

She insisted that Pearl take a swim in the fountain, just in case, just to be sure, and it was Garnet’s agreement that convinced her. Pearl begrudgingly slipped into the pool.

 

And somehow, even outside the dream, the magic seemed to work.

 

On the couch, Pearl let out a sigh of relief, hand going slack from where she’d curled it near Jasper’s thigh. It may have been nothing more than a memory, but it was soothing. Her burns hurt a little less, even going so far as to slowly fade from her alabaster skin.

 

The silly plan was working.

 

Jasper hadn't pulled her eyes away from the dream as it played out in front of her. Everything about it had her oddly fascinated. Even the fusion, who was clearly the same Crystal Gem alive today but centuries different, had her attention. She'd almost forgotten it was a projection at all until Pearl was dipping herself into the fountain and let out an audible sigh.

 

Leave it to Rose Quartz to have had a secret sanctuary capable of healing her army all along. In the end, Jasper supposed it didn't matter. But it still rubbed her the wrong way. How had none of Homeworld's Gems ever found it? It was another testament to Rose's admittedly impressive strategies.

 

Jasper glanced down at Pearl's actual face then and saw a calmness there. Maybe this was one of her better memories of the war. The tips of her fingers just brushed against Jasper's uniform, and the quartz was alarmed to find herself wanting to take them in her hand again. For what reason she couldn't fathom. She shook the thought away quickly. At least Pearl seemed like this sleep thing was helping her.

 

Pearl’s projection continued as she slept; she tried to pull herself out of the water, grimacing at the way her arm ached. Rhodochrosite protested, and Garnet—in a move supremely bold for the time—leaned forward and pushed Pearl back into the pool. She sank, then bobbed back up to shout at her comrade, who made sure to block her attempts to escape.

 

Another Gem flickered into view, a quartz this time, possibly an Earth-grown Amethyst, bearing news that made Rhodochrosite fall back, hands over her mouth. Pearl and Garnet exchanged glances; Pearl’s eyes were narrowed, and Garnet tried to warn her against what she knew her companion would do.

 

The alabaster Gem was resolute, and whatever exchanged between them, Garnet lost the argument. The Fusion rose, offering her hand, and Pearl took it, climbing out of the pool finally.

 

She summoned her swords—the same two she used now, albeit with blades that had been replaced several times over the eons—and like that, the dream shifted, back to the battlefield, where Pearl tore down enemies too large for a Gem her size, and Garnet followed up behind her, cleaning up those that Pearl darted past.

 

Pearl was clearly on a mission, and that mission quickly left Garnet veering off toward another objective. The renegade was agile and light on her feet, easily underestimated and too often mistaken for a non-threat—and these advantages were what got her to her goal.

 

Rose Quartz.

 

Jasper felt herself tense as soon as Pearl's projection displayed nothing but the leader of the rebellion. The source of the war and, perhaps, of all Jasper's existing problems. She should have known that's who Pearl was after. She doubted there was anything else on Earth or beyond that Pearl cared about more during the war. She could tell already that Pearl put even her own safety behind that of Rose's, but Jasper supposed that was typical of her kind. Pearls weren't designed to have any care for themselves or even any other desires beside the need to please their masters. Jasper just couldn't picture any other pearls picking up a sword and slashing their way through a battlefield, even to save the most precious Gems in their lives.

 

But whether Pearl's loyalty was rare or not, her bravery and skill were all her own. Jasper could admire her for that. She kept her eyes on the blue-tinted image her greatest enemy, rapt.

 

Rose Quartz never fully turned; she knew Pearl was at her back even before the smaller Gem could announce it. But Pearl took her place behind her, ready to fight off all comers—or die trying.

 

After all, Rose always carried her back when her physical form was destroyed.

 

Pearl fought valiantly, and with Rose at her back, they certainly attracted enough foes. It was a good diversion while Garnet led a band from the East; Rose Quartz’s presence drew out enemies in droves, eager to prove themselves for glory, for Homeworld.

 

Many of those Gems didn’t make it back intact.

 

Abruptly, the dream shifted; Pearl made a noise of discomfort in her sleep at the sight of a too-large Jasper Fusion, comprised of at least four Gems, bearing down on her, armed with a battleaxe not unlike the ones she’d hid behind earlier, and the entire projection flickered.

 

She hadn’t made it back on her own that time.

 

Pearl’s breathing grew erratic as similar images came to life and died in quick succession; more Jasper Fusions, some Amethysts, a Topaz quartet, and even a group of Rubies that had managed to strike before she could, armed with ranged and mêlée weapons. She fell over and over, almost always at Rose’s side, regardless of terrain.

 

Very suddenly, Pearl cried out, and her pale eyes snapped open, wide and haunted by her memories; the blue light faded immediately, and she reached up to feel her Gem, checking for divots and cracks.

 

Nothing.

 

Pearl blinked rapidly against hot tears that spilled down her long nose, trying to get her bearings, trying to shake the dream without a sound other than her ragged breathing. She was disoriented, confused, and couldn’t recall when she’d fallen asleep or why.

 

There was someone with her, she knew, and she ducked her face, scrubbing at her tears, trying to hide what Jasper had undoubtedly already seen. “Sorry,” she mumbled, memory of her _current_ situation slowly but surely catching up to her.

 

Jasper was slack-jawed, staring first at the place where the projection had blinked and fizzled out and then to the quietly sobbing Pearl beside her. She was curling in on herself again, trying to avoid showing just how deeply the projection had affected her. Jasper's chest clenched tight, almost painfully so. To see Pearl sacrifice herself again and again... It hadn't been easy. Jasper may have enjoyed her many small victories in war. The inherent thrill she received in the heat of battle, the rush of it all, gave her something to remember fondly. But outside of those moments, Jasper knew all too well what war had really been like.

 

"It's alright," she said quietly. "I... understand."

 

She didn't, not fully, but she could relate.

 

Jasper couldn’t understand completely, but for that, Pearl was thankful. She didn’t truly want anyone else to go through the trials she’d put herself through, the many, many senseless deaths she’d practically dove headfirst into.

 

But the sentiment helped.

 

Pearl said nothing for a moment as she got both her breathing and tears reigned in, then pushed herself up on her right elbow without thinking about it; most of her pain had dulled to something manageable. She drew in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry for that, too,” she murmured, “The war was terrible.”

 

Jasper wasn't quite sure if she was apologizing for the images she'd just shown or for causing the war itself. She imagined Pearl felt some guilt for both, but didn't ask for clarification.

 

"Hm." Was the only agreement she cared to give at first. For all her frequent thinking about the war, seeing it again brought up the unpleasant side of the memories.

 

"For as much as I try to glorify it, it was," she admitted. Pearl would be the only one to hear the confession anyway.

 

"Why did you do it?" She asked softly. "Did Rose Quartz make you do that?"

 

For several moments, Pearl didn’t answer, giving the question real thought mostly due to the unusual softness in Jasper’s voice. She’d been candid, and it was only fair to respond in kind, no matter how much it pained Pearl to examine her history without tinted glasses.

 

“It was complicated,” she said finally, heaving a sigh. “Everyone in the rebellion had a choice. Even a pearl like me. But in practice… you said yourself. Pink Diamond’s court was dissolved. I couldn’t stay behind, not if she came to Earth.” Pearl paused, worrying her lip. “I didn’t have any sense of self-preservation back then. I learned that much later. Rose tried to stop me, actually.” Her laugh was empty and short-lived. “She would give me assignments, send me to the other side of the battlefield, pair me with other Gems—but I was always trying to fight for her.

 

“It was Garnet, actually,” Pearl swallowed, smiling despite herself. “Who helped me learn to stop throwing myself in like that. Rose never needed me for a shield.”

 

"She already had one," Jasper said, pointing out the obvious. "But, if you think about it, it's not much different than what our side was doing."

 

Countless Gems-- her comrades and even her _friends_ that she had spent much of her life with. Gone in the blink of an eye to defend their Diamond. The Diamond who hadn't set foot on the organic planet herself. Jasper had been all nationalism and pride at the time, even despite the physical and emotional pain of war. But the years wore her down. Bitterness and the desire for revenge could eat away at a Gem. And now, it was all starting to seem so... Pointless.

 

"Gems who weren't there don't care, Pearl. They don't want to hear about it. You learn to just shut your mouth and remind yourself that what you did was noble and purposeful when you were doing it. Even if everything's changed since then."

 

Pearl looked up at her, surprised by the vitriol in Jasper’s voice. It was quite the contrast to Peridot singing her Diamond’s praises, and Pearl wondered how much of that was Jasper’s experience shining through, and how much was common among survivors from the First Era.

 

“Some do,” Pearl said, “But the glory-coated, dramatic version. All honor and success and heroics.” She paused. “It doesn’t devalue what you went through. What you saw and did. Just because other Gems aren’t talking about it. Civilians don’t understand.”

 

"Even interest in that has faded on Homeworld. I guess they got tired of hearing the same old thing, huh?"

 

Jasper gave Pearl a smile with little humor in it.

 

"No, they don't understand, and they won't. But I don't need them to. I don't need anyone to."

 

It was truly maddening for Jasper. She'd done everything asked of her, risked everything for Her Diamond to be rewarded with nothing but humiliation. But she wasn't about to show any more weakness than she'd already let on.

 

"It's done now."

 

There was truth to that, Pearl supposed. The war had been over for thousands of years, and even without that, Jasper was stuck here on Earth, permanently. Not that it sounded much like Homeworld would have welcomed her back, even if she were successful in her initial mission.

 

Pearl began to reach for her, then faltered, reconsidering. Jasper’s reactions to physical contact had been mixed so far, and she didn’t know whether she would react badly to more.

 

Still, her heart went out to her. She’d told herself countless times that the war was over, but it never really stopped waging inside her, never left her nearly perfect memory. She imagined it was the same for Jasper. For anyone who’d gone through what they had.

 

“If I were to hug you…” Pearl started, sounding uncertain, “would that be inappropriate?”

 

So much for keeping weakness at bay. Her jaw locked into place, teeth clicking together, as her fists balled against her thighs.

 

Jasper considered the statement. Pearl wasn't just asking to know the answer; she obviously had the intention of following through with it if given permission.

 

"Yes," she replied right away, still gritting her teeth. She forced herself to work her mouth open to answer more clearly. "By Homeworld's standards that would be extremely inappropriate."

 

The tips of her nails dug into palms.

 

"But... this is Earth," she clarified.

 

“It is,” Pearl agreed, not altogether surprised that Jasper hadn’t reacted favorably. She was a soldier first and foremost, and such affection would have been unheard of between Quartz soldiers. It had been good to ask, then. She pushed herself upright finally, ignoring the way the world tried to tilt in protest; she might have been _mostly_ healed up, but that was certainly relative. The Jelly’s neurotoxin was still making her woozy. “That’s why I asked. It’s not inappropriate here. But I don’t want you to be uncomfortable… That defeats the purpose.”

 

"I never said it would make me uncomfortable," Jasper countered, trying to deflect any thoughts to the contrary.

 

"You think I can't handle a- a _hug_?" She scoffed lightly. "Seriously. You might as well do it," she said, observing the slight wobble in Pearl as she got up. "You look like you're going to fall into me any second."

 

This time, there _was_ humor in her smile and Jasper forced herself to try and relax despite the pounding in her chest.

 

That wasn’t entirely unlikely, Pearl realized, but she met Jasper’s smile with one of her own. “Fair enough, but I _did_ give you the option,” she replied lightly, moving forward unsteadily to slip her thin arms around Jasper’s neck, leaning into her as much for support as for the intended embrace.

 

Jasper was warm, and though her shoulder and knees protested, throbbed angrily with her heartbeat, Pearl was glad that she’d decided on this.

 

Jasper's heartbeat pounded harder still and she realized belatedly that Pearl might be able to feel it through her chest. The thought made her tense initially, as did Pearl pressing against her. But after a moment's hesitation, Jasper found that her arms fit snugly around the smaller Gem. She rested her hands on Pearl's back, one massive palm above the other. Like this, she could appreciate fully just how soft and light Pearl was. Suddenly those weren't negative qualities to the soldier who had built her life around being rigid and unbreakable.

 

Jasper's big hands dwarfed her small frame, but the weight against her back felt nice. It was strange, drawing comfort from hands that could crush her easily, but that concern couldn't be farther from her mind.

 

Pearl closed her eyes, let her body relax into the embrace. Jasper's thundering heartbeat was impossible to miss at close quarters, but Pearl easily misattributed this to how unusual their situation was. Comfortable though this was, it was fundamentally strange.

 

In fact, 'strange' hardly did it justice. Especially for the Gem who couldn't remember hugging anyone before, and most definitely never like this.

 

She was finding that she really liked it.

 

Jasper blinked, watching the top of Pearl's head as she sank against her. Jasper almost worried this would end too soon--that Pearl would pull away. She didn't know how long these things typically lasted but she did know she wasn't ready for it to end. She finally closed her eyes completely and let her head fall forward slowly, allowing her cheek to brush against Pearl's hair.

 

Pearl was quite content not to let go; she was somewhat clingy by nature, always had been, and Jasper didn’t seem to object. ( _Was it nature or design?_ She wondered, but the answer didn’t truly matter.) The alabaster Gem sighed into Jasper’s shoulder, adjusting her left arm to relieve some of the strain on her aching muscles, but she didn’t otherwise make any move to withdraw.

 

“I’m glad you made it this far,” she murmured at length, “But I’m sorry the journey was… well, what it was.” It was hard to think very coherently, and some of that was absolutely the neurotoxin affecting her more now that she’d moved, but Pearl hugged Jasper just a little tighter and ignored the way the world tilted.


	6. Disillusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jasper learns more about pearls than she ever did on Homeworld, and Steven's couch nearly goes on a trip to the beach.

"Hm." Jasper let one of her thumbs glide along the soft fabric of Pearl's uniform.

 

Normally she didn't care for sympathy. But then again, she had never really been given any. Coming from Pearl it was comforting. Gave her a warm feeling that was only emphasized by the way the smaller Gem's hold tightened around her.

 

"Thank you," she managed to say with clear sincerity. "But you don't have to think about that."

 

“Hard not to, with someone like you in Steven’s room like this with me,” Pearl was almost teasing. She’d never known a Jasper; none had defected to their side during the war, and even if they had, she didn’t think they would have been like the Gem before her. Jasper was confusing, so incredibly Quartz-like while being unlike most Quartz Gems she’d known. Somewhat like Amethyst; contrary while still being thoroughly recognizable.

 

But it was hard not to think of what had brought Jasper here, of her part in that mess. She wondered if her surprise ally would exist now if Quartz production hadn’t increased in direct response to the rebellion.

 

Pearl’s knees were shaking with the effort of staying upright, and she clung a little more tightly. “I’m not certain I can stay up like this,” she admitted sheepishly.

 

"I guess you're right," Jasper responded. She didn't much care to think about her journey on Earth so far. So much of it had been spent in a place she never wanted to think about again. Subconsciously, she may have pulled Pearl even closer, if that was possible. To have the other Gem in her arms was just such an inexplicable comfort. Beyond just a distraction, it was a consolation.

 

'Someone like you,' Pearl had said. A Jasper. Doing something like this in a place where anyone might see her if they only passed through the thin barrier between the room and the outside. At best, she'd be punished severely for this on Homeworld. Likely, she would have been crushed.

 

Jasper found she didn't care.

 

She did care, however, when Pearl alluded to her inability to keep herself up. If she was suggesting this should end, Jasper wasn't ready.

 

"Sit down," she said, lowering her hand just slightly to Pearl's hip. She wasn't thinking-- that Pearl would be on her lap if she sat where she was didn't occur to her in her haste to keep this feeling from being over too soon.

 

Color came to Pearl’s cheeks yet again at the suggestion, but she obliged, lowering herself to perch in Jasper’s lap. She withdrew her left arm, dropping her hand to her lap, but left her right settled around Jasper’s neck. The smaller Gem was quiet for a moment, curling her fingers idly around her broad neck, at the beginnings of her long, wild hair.

 

“Your hair’s very soft,” she said quietly, leaning close to the bigger Gem.

 

"Hair usually is, isn't it?" Jasper quipped, tilting her head to the side slightly. With this angle she could see Pearl's face better. She could admire the adorable color rising to her cheeks and her wide blue eyes. Jasper was used to giving pearls little more than a quick glance; many of them looked the same to her anyway. Pearl was especially beautiful, though, even compared to other high class Gems Jasper knew. She'd keep that information to herself for now.

 

She lifted her own hand to smooth it over Pearl's downy hair with a smile.

 

"Look at that. Yours is too."

 

The color in Pearl’s cheeks darkened at the statement, but she smiled all the same. She felt much better after sleeping, despite her nightmare, and despite her embarrassment, she felt quite at ease sitting on Jasper like this. She didn’t dare to think of what the others would think, but then, right now, it didn’t matter very much. They were occupied, and she and Jasper were getting along wonderfully.

 

“Amethyst’s is coarser,” she said, somewhat idly stroking Jasper’s hair. The choppy bits that fell easily over her shoulder were very reminiscent of Amethyst’s, though Jasper’s hair had a decidedly warmer tint to it. “She used to wear it short for millennia.”

 

Pearl paused for a moment, then met Jasper’s eyes with a broader smile. “Thank you again, for taking care of me.”

 

Jasper felt as though Pearl was thanking her an awful lot. She wasn't going to complain about it. Earth was guaranteed to have plenty of other things to complain about. At least she could enjoy Pearl's company. The light weight on her lap and the gentle attention at her hair miraculously took away the tension from the disaster of being stranded.

 

Still, not used to be thanked, she answered with a shrug.

 

"Yeah, well. I told that fusion I'd have you feeling better. And look at you now. Looking great."

 

“Garnet will definitely be happy about that,” Pearl conceded, though she worried now about how Garnet would feel about _this_. Pearl wasn’t very good at keeping secrets, and didn’t feel that she should have to—but she wouldn’t want Garnet to get the wrong idea, to think that she and Jasper had made peace by becoming _involved._

 

After millennia of harboring romantic feelings for the Fusion, and undoubtedly destroying any chances she might’ve had at something more with her stunt at the Communications Hub, Pearl still couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that came with the prospect of Garnet mistaking her feelings for another Gem as romantic. Not that Garnet had ever looked her way, as far as she was aware.

 

Pearl sighed softly, still idly playing with Jasper’s soft hair without so much as a thought. For someone who had no romantic intent, she certainly was enjoying this. Whatever this was. It was comfortable and warm and familiar—but Jasper didn’t remind her of Rose Quartz, and that was better. Jasper reminded her of Homeworld, without actually being a part of that wretched place anymore.

 

She still couldn’t believe that Yellow Diamond had treated her returning soldiers so disgracefully. But, she supposed, the alternative was Blue Diamond’s predilection for shattering Gems in hand. She shuddered at the very idea and held Jasper a little closer.

 

Jasper hummed, a deep sound in the back of her throat that Pearl wouldn't have heard had she not been perched on her lap and leaning against her. She obviously liked whatever the smaller Gem was doing with her hair, and wordlessly encouraged her to continue.

 

If this, and fighting monsters and sparring worthy opponents, was how her time was going to be spent on Earth... maybe this wasn't such a bad deal.

 

Pearl said this sort of thing wasn't inappropriate. The thought that she probably did the same thing with the Amethyst and the fusion crossed her mind and gave her a quick, hot flash of jealousy.

 

"You two are close," she pried, drawing on her observations from earlier. She almost hoped that spending time with Pearl wouldn't mean spending more time around the fusion, but something told her she wouldn't be so lucky.

 

The vibration of Jasper’s hum reverberated through Pearl’s smaller frame, impossible to ignore at such close quarters, and she shivered a little. It was an encouraging sound, at least. Pearl sighed softly, quite content to keep doing this until her arm grew weary.

 

The observation shouldn’t have startled her; Pearl knew already that Jasper was very sharp, and she wasn’t exactly subtle. She felt her cheeks darken and she ducked her face, clearing her throat nervously.

 

“We are,” Pearl said, licking too-dry lips, adding; “I mean… I think it’s natural. After almost six thousand years. Garnet and I are the only ones left from the war. We’ve been through almost everything together.”

 

"Of course it's natural,” Jasper replied. Pearl was acting suspiciously defensive, and Jasper had to raise an amused eyebrow as the smaller Gem hid her face away. She was becoming addicted to every little reaction. A dangerous level of attachment, if she let herself dwell on it. The feeling she was experiencing wasn’t going to let that happen, though.

 

“Well,” she added as an afterthought, “as natural as a pearl having a relationship with a mixed fusion can be. I was just making an observation. One of many I’ll be making during my time here on this water-coated rock you call Earth.”

 

Oh stars, she was at it again. Pearl recognized that Jasper was trying to goad a reaction out of her now, but that didn’t stop her from giving her exactly what she wanted. Her whole face went blue now, and she withdrew her hand from Jasper’s soft hair to try to cover her blush.

 

“It isn’t—we’re not,” Pearl protested, ignoring the way her stomach twisted uncomfortably. She drew in a shaky breath, steeling herself, and shook her head, still avoiding Jasper’s gaze. “It isn’t anything but friendship. Garnet’s already a relationship.”

 

Jasper’s mouth fell open slightly. At first to almost verbally protest Pearl pulling away from her hair. But then her gaping had more to do with what Pearl replied with. She couldn’t say she’d expected… that answer.

 

“Huh,” Jasper said after a silence. She shut her mouth only to open again to speak.

 

“I wasn’t implying anything like that,” she explained. “I think you know exactly how those things go on Homeworld.”

 

She let out a sober chuckle.

 

“Anyway, you’re a pearl,” she said in an attempt to brush the comment off. Despite Pearl’s many unique traits, it was all too easy for the soldier to associate her with her type and the stereotypes-- or, perhaps, expectations-- attached to them all. “You wouldn’t-- I mean, you couldn’t--!”

 

It took several moments for Pearl to get her embarrassment back under wraps; her cheeks and nose were still stained a brilliant blue. But Jasper wasn’t wrong; relationships on Homeworld were taboo and barely spoken of in decent company. Naturally, this meant that other pearls would have known all about their owners’ dalliances, and word got around eventually. Pearl had never really been a part of that, but she knew of it. One of her sisters had always had the best gossip to share.

 

Somehow, Jasper’s flustered reaction made this worse, though. Pearl’s embarrassment ebbed a bit, and she managed to look up at Jasper, perplexed. “I… think you’ve finally lost me,” she said after a stretch, raising a questioning eyebrow. “My being a pearl has nothing to do with Garnet…?”

 

“Well, yeah. It does. You know what I mean,” Jasper said hastily. She had to know what she meant. If either of them knew what it was like to have the limited functional capacity of a pearl it had to be Pearl, right? Jasper only knew what she was told about them by Gems that owned them. Fancy toys, beautiful decorations that could be told do a couple of things. Pearl had surpassed that expectation already, but there was only so much mold breaking a Gem could do.

 

Right?

 

“You couldn’t have ‘more than a friendship’ with the fusion. Or with any single Gem, either. If you want anything, it’s your owner. I mean, even if Rose Quartz is gone, you still can’t want anyone else. You don’t really _want_ anything!” Jasper was feeling exasperated and perplexed all at once.

 

Pearl stared for a long stretch, mouth slack. There was anger trying to bubble up in her, but disbelief overruled it. If she’d expected anything, it would have been that Jasper’s experiences with Fusion would have made her clueless in _that_ department, not…

 

“You actually _believe_ that propaganda?” Pearl asked softly, brows knitted together and lips forming a distinct frown. “About pearls? We’re just like other Gems, Jasper. It just gets trained out of some… most of us.”

 

“What?! Of course I believe it. What’s there not to believe? It has to be true.”

 

But Jasper didn’t sound all that sure now. In fact, her face was heating up with the realization that she might be wrong. The look Pearl was giving her managed to be intimidating. Jasper never did like having her intelligence insulted, and Pearl obviously didn’t take kindly to it either.

 

“Pearls have their place for a reason,” Jasper tried to argue. Not in a mean spirited way, but more in a desperate attempt to justify the logic that had persisted on Homeworld since long before she’d ever been made. For pearls to be like any other Gem and forced into playing the part of a toy? That sounded absurd.

 

“They like being what they are because they don’t know any better. They just follow their owners."

 

“It’s not like that,” Pearl shook her head. Thinking about that mess gave her a headache unlike anything she’d experienced in eons; it was worse than Peridot asking about her owner, or outing her existence as one of many other pearls, because Steven was in the dark for a reason, and accepted new information easily regardless. Jasper, however…

 

“We’re easily made, but the core is… basically the same. As any Gem,” Pearl tried to explain, “That is, you’re right that they don’t know better. Most pearls aren’t given choices, or have a chance to develop a… a strong moral compass, or the right to share their opinions. It doesn’t stop them from _having_ them, though. My sisters are—“ _Were_? “—absolutely brilliant, and served their owners in ways other Gems couldn’t possibly do. We’re treated as blank slates to be written on, but it’s all just… survival. Pearls are adaptable, and delicate, but that’s _why_ they have to be adaptable. Otherwise we’d be crushed.”

 

Jasper didn’t have a response for the longest time. Her brain was swimming, and that was one feeling she’d come to hate above all others. Still, she fought to sort through the information being given to her. It was a slow process, but she was determined. After a time, Jasper slowly lifted her gaze from the floor to Pearl’s face.

 

“You mean, it’s all an act? Even for other pearls?” The whole thing made her visibly uncomfortable, but she hadn’t let go of Pearl this entire time. Her grip loosened somewhat now. She was looking into Pearl’s eyes now and couldn’t ignore the fact that Pearl had no reason to lie about this to her. “What about your loyalty to Rose Quartz?”

 

The silence was deafening, but Pearl imagined it must have been hard for Jasper to hear something so close to traitorous—what a scandal it would have been, back on Homeworld, for a Pearl to talk about things like opinions or freedom of thought or _choice_.

 

When Jasper did meet her eyes, Pearl couldn’t help letting out a sigh, equal parts relief and mounting tension. “Rose gave me a choice,” Pearl said quietly, “She gave me lots of choices. She taught me to use a sword, she asked me for opinions, she did… everything you’re not supposed to do with a pearl.” Despite the longing in her voice and the ache in her heart, Pearl couldn’t help smiling a little. “Rose was different. She treated me like an equal. She let me outgrow my place on Homeworld. It wasn’t—like I owed it to her, she never treated it like something I needed to repay. But I wanted to anyway.”

 

"So you really do have freedom down here," Jasper said, less as a question and more as a statement. The remainder of Rose Quartz's army consisted of a handful of Gems that Jasper assumed were only here because they were the rejects of the rejects. Instead, she was discovering there was quite a lot more to them than she'd expected. To Pearl, especially. She'd written her off right away as a lost Pearl with information overload causing some kind of defective behavior. And now...

 

"I don't know what to think." Jasper shifted in her seat but then realized that probably wasn't the best idea. She tried again, keeping still.

 

"Even after I decided to show you respect for your bravery, I wasn't thinking of you as a Gem. Just a pearl. I can't even explain why; that's just how it is and how it always has been. Pearls are supposed to be lesser."

 

She sighed.

 

"Now that I'm here, talking to you and listening to what you're saying, I can't even figure out why it is the way it is."

 

Pearl had to steady herself with a hand on Jasper’s shoulder, still perched precariously on her lap. She shifted too, getting comfortable again, despite their tense conversation.

 

It hurt a little, hearing that, but deep down, Pearl wasn’t altogether surprised. There had been Gems in Rose’s Army that were the same way—Homeworld Gems that defected without really understanding Rose’s radical doctrine. Colonial Gems were better, but being one of the only pearls in the war hadn’t been easy.

 

Jasper seemed willing to learn, though. That made her feel considerably better; if Jasper could make the same kind of progress as Peridot had…

 

“I’m glad you’re willing to listen,” Pearl said at length, “And I don’t… blame you. Thinking like that is easy. Especially when you always have. Homeworld was incredibly rigid when I was there, I can’t imagine things have gotten _better_ for pearls after…” she trailed off. “Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit. The rebellion was Rose’s. I was just part of it.”

 

"I feel traitorous," Jasper admitted, unable to keep her eyes on Pearl now. "Should have expected that from you Crystal Gems."

 

She seemed to think before continuing her train of thought. Giving herself another chance to shut her mouth before she completely doomed herself from Yellow Diamond's favor forever. But she wasn't fooling herself-- she'd fallen from the matriarch's graces already.

 

"As far as I could tell, it got worse for pearls. Other Gems were so worried about their pearls catching some kind of defective strain or if theirs could somehow malfunction... Guess that sounds ridiculous to you?"

 

Pearl could understand that, as much as she didn’t like it. She was quiet, somewhat uneasily settled in Jasper’s lap and suddenly feeling very small. She almost wanted to laugh—but it would have been hollow and she knew it. Instead, she shook her head.

 

“Gems… from both sides, after the war, after the final strike,” Pearl started quietly, “They became tainted. Corrupted. It was some Geo-weapon. It wiped most of us out. And the ones that survived… changed. Went mad and lost their forms. Those’re the monsters we fight. I don’t think the _idea_ is ridiculous.”

 

She sighed, gingerly reaching up with her left arm, trying again, and hugged Jasper lightly, hiding her face. It was easier than facing her. “I don’t think it could happen _on_ Homeworld. Nacre doesn’t make mistakes with her pearls. It would have to be external.”

 

Jasper brought her arms completely around Pearl again, falling easily and naturally into the embrace. As if she'd been designed with arms just perfect to hold her. At least, that's what it felt like to the soldier. She stared ahead, the full implications of Pearl's words hitting her. It was difficult to enjoy the otherwise quiet moment with the facts being presented to her. She hadn't been paying much attention at the time. She'd seen the gemstone but hadn't had the slightest clue that it might have once actually been an actual functioning Moonstone.

 

"So that thing you took down is a Gem? Or used to be one?"

 

Pearl nodded slowly. There had been a few Moonstones on their side—not many; they usually belonged to White Diamond’s court—and Pearl suspected that a proper inspection of her Gem would have cleared up exactly who the monster used to be. It was something she tried not to think about often, but when every Gem in Rose’s army had been one she’d known personally, it was hard not to. She envied Amethyst for not knowing them. She envied Garnet’s ability to see them for what they were now, not who they had once been.

 

“Rose couldn’t heal them,” she said quietly, “Steven was able to reach one, once, but it was still a monster. We don’t know if they can be healed. All we can do is contain them in bubbles until we find a better solution.”

 

Jasper made a sound something between sympathy and disgust. This was the truth about the punishment Her Diamond had chosen to inflict on the rebels. Another lie; it was said to have simply wiped them all out save for Rose Quartz and a small part of her army that had been able to survive the hit. To know what it actually did... well, it was a fate worse than death, in her opinion. And the perfect way for Her Diamond to make an example for whatever Gems had managed to escape the effects themselves. The results of playing war with Homeworld were never forgiving.

 

"So you're fighting them to suspend them. I'd wondered why you went out of your way to provoke the thing in the first place."

 

Pearl seemed to Jasper especially despondent now. A sharp contrast to the feisty, weapon-wielding Gem she'd first encountered. She cradled Pearl close.

 

"You're protecting them. Saving them."

 

Jasper’s arms around her helped with the smallness that tried to settle in on her. Pearl returned the embrace, hugging her a little more tightly. The bigger Gem was warm and comfortable, and despite their tenuous alliance, against all odds, Jasper somehow made her feel safe, even while her body was battered and still slowly recovering.

 

“I hope so,” Pearl said softly, “I want to save them. I—I want Earth to have _Gems_ on it again. Before the war, so many visited, and there are so many we’ve had to bubble… I’m sure I sound like a sentimental fool. But I want to be able to share this world with our kind.”

 

"You do sound like a sentimental fool, Pearl. But you wouldn't be a Crystal Gem if you didn't. Crazy ideas are like a staple of your kind."

 

Jasper thought briefly of Rose Quartz and all the rumors she'd heard of her wild plans. The very idea that she wanted to prevent Homeworld from colonizing the planet was ridiculous. And yet, now Jasper was sitting on that same planet thousands of years later. Still uncolonized. Just as organic as ever, if not more so. Jasper could barely wrap her head around it.

 

"You really believe in this planet, don't you?"

 

Pearl very nearly laughed at the jab, despite herself. It wasn’t entirely untrue. Rose Quartz had no shortage of crazy, wild, impossible ideas that she’d tried to make into reality over the centuries—and somehow, many had worked. The world they lived in was proof of that.

 

Jasper’s question was one she had spent many eons mulling over, an answer always just barely out of reach. She hadn’t been able to separate her belief in Rose Quartz from her belief in Earth or humanity, not until very recently. In point of fact, she’d long felt _guilty_ over it, over not loving Earth as much as she felt she should have.

 

And then Steven had changed everything.

 

Pearl smiled against Jasper’s shoulder, making an affirmative hum. “It’s a wonderful planet,” she said at length, “With potential, and resources, and life, beauty and culture—Humans aren’t quite like our kind, but they have their moments. They’ve made so many advances over the eons. They’re social and fairly intelligent, even if they live short lives.” Her gaze was distant, and she shook her head, drawing back a little with a smile. “It’s silly, but I love this planet, Jasper. Just as it is.”

 

Jasper scoffed.

 

"Well, I haven't been convinced." And she doubted she ever would. Despite Homeworld having felt restrictive and cramped for centuries, it was still Home. It was familiar and suited for Gemkind. Earth was the opposite of everything Yellow Diamond strived for; Earth was a mess. Everything about the planet had been pretty terrible for Jasper so far, and she was among the Gems that would have liked to know it was blown apart by Her Diamond's geo-weapon.

 

But her ally, sitting on her lap, had a look on her face that said she believed this planet was worthy of admiration. Pretty wide eyes and a smile marked her features, and Jasper found herself focusing on them as she spoke. After the words were out of her own mouth, Jasper briefly feared the harshness of her tone would change Pearl's expression.

 

"Maybe I need to see more of it," she added. It alarmed her then that she would change her opinion so easily just to placate Pearl. She was growing antsy again, too, but remained still for the Crystal Gem's sake.

 

"Do you think we could take a walk or something?" She tried. It was worth the try, she argued. "I don't know if you're feeling up to it."

 

Pearl’s gaze did fall a bit, but she wasn’t fool enough to believe that Jasper would be sold on Earth’s wonders by her passion alone. Still, from inside Steven’s room, there was very little she could convince Jasper with, and even less she could do while she was injured like this.

 

Jasper’s suggestion surprised her. That was certainly an unexpected compromise, though welcome. And truth be told, she was antsy, trapped on this couch.

 

“If I can make it down the stairs,” she agreed, finally untangling herself from Jasper’s grasp to risk standing. The world tilted, but not as badly as before—she had to reach out and brace herself on Jasper’s shoulder for a moment before straightening fully. “I’ll have to leave a note for Garnet and the others if we’re going anywhere…”

 

Once Pearl had completely removed herself from her and seemed at least somewhat stable on her own two feet, Jasper got up too, stretching upwards as she did so with a light grunt. She placed her hands on her hips and flexed her biceps in front of Pearl.

 

"Hang on," she said, before Pearl could trip on her way to find something to leave a note with.

 

"I could always carry you if you feel faint, you know," she said with confidence. "You're strong, but you're still lighter than most Gems. Plus, you really shouldn't be up and walking on your own yet."

 

She figured the last thing she needed was the fusion blaming her for letting Pearl get up. Even if Pearl looked mostly steady, Jasper couldn't be sure.

 

There was the bright blue blush rushing to fill Pearl’s cheeks all over again. Jasper very easily could carry her, and that would… certainly solve any problems that came with walking too soon. Still, Pearl’s pride protested, even as her lingering burns tried to outvote it.

 

“I… suppose, as long as you’re okay with it,” Pearl relented, gingerly rubbing her still-aching shoulder. At least it wasn’t as excruciating now, although progress of any kind was somewhat difficult to judge. She swallowed her pride and embarrassment, meeting Jasper’s eyes with a smile. “I’ll still see how long I can last. I don’t want to put you out.”

 

"It's not putting me out! I told you before, I can lift way more than you alone." Jasper's eyes lit up, eager to prove her strength to Pearl. "I could lift this whole couch with you still laying on it and then some." Something seemed to click in her mind. She glanced at the sofa.

 

"We can just take it with us."

 

Jasper bent down and lifted the couch from the floor with ease. She swung it around, just avoiding knocking it into Pearl, and started for the front door. She bumped into the wall when she got there, realizing belatedly that the couch was too wide to fit through the door. She frowned and tried again, but the opening didn't get any bigger the second time and the door wasn't opening on its own. She dropped the couch loudly where she stood and glanced back at Pearl.

 

"Hang on, I got this," she said, clearly gearing up to use her shoulder in order to break a couch-sized hole in the wall.

 

The neurotoxin really must have been slowing her down, Pearl thought, as Jasper easily manhandled the couch like it weighed nothing at all. She should have protested sooner—but all too quickly, the couch was off of the floor, and Jasper was trying to fit it through the far-too-small screen door.

 

“Oh stars—Jasper, no, it’s fine!” she insisted, rushing unsteadily to the bigger Gem’s side to uselessly catch the crook of her arm. If the quartz soldier really wanted to, she would bring the whole house down trying to get the couch outside. Garnet would never forgive her, and Steven would worry—Pearl didn’t want either of those things any more than she wanted to be the one rebuilding the entryway (and she knew she would be). “No, Jasper, we’ll have to rebuild the entire wall—it’s fine! If you need to carry me, we can do it the—the simple way.” _Normal_ was the word that initially came to mind, but being carried at all was as far from normal as Pearl thought the situation could get.

 

"Hm." Jasper glanced at the hand on her arm and abandoned her almost-tackle of the beach house wall.

 

"My way would have worked. But alright," she conceded. "We'll do it your way. This time."

 

She wanted to make it clear to Pearl that she wouldn't always be so quick to adapt. Being allies meant _some_ things were just going to have to be done Jasper's way without question. Those times would come. But this was harmless.

 

She began to kneel down, planning to wrap her arms around Pearl's legs and throw her over her shoulder. But that seemed impractical due to Pearl's current condition.

 

"Uhh." Jasper looked puzzled. "How should we...?"

 

She wrapped her hands around Pearl's tiny waist to pick her up that way, but paused suddenly. The last time she'd hoisted Pearl straight into the air, she hadn't been thrilled. She looked at her questioningly.

 

Pearl’s relief was clear—even if it meant having to concede to Jasper’s way at some point, saving Steven’s home was a great boon. She was about to thank her when Jasper knelt, and suddenly, her mind went almost completely blank.

 

It was _definitely_ unusual for a soldier to kneel like that, to someone like her.

 

Pearl’s blush was back with a vengeance, and she tried—and failed—to stutter out something coherent in response. Jasper’s hands on her waist were surprisingly warm, and Pearl found she didn’t want to draw away.

 

“I… ah…” her normally quick mind lagged. Garnet would have carried her in her arms, and Jasper had already shown she could do that. But it wasn’t necessary. And Jasper wasn’t Garnet. “I could… sit on your shoulder, once we’re outside. The doorway’s too low. O-or like before. It’s up to you.” She wanted to give Jasper some say in the matter, in part to make up for rejecting her earlier idea.

 

Jasper's hands remained where they were as she stopped to think. She didn't even seem to hear what Pearl was saying. The quartz was getting distracted again, and it was entirely Pearl's fault. She had a peculiar habit of turning several shades of blue. It complimented her well, and Jasper found she liked it for some odd reason. She tilted her head and just took a moment to stare, eyes going soft and a smile hinted at her lips.

 

"You do that a lot," she stated vaguely. Having no respect for personal boundaries, she lifted one hand to cup Pearl's cheek.

 

"Is it something you were made to do?"


	7. Immunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Jasper go up to the lighthouse. Jasper pieces together some of Pearl's secrets.

Any other question would have been preferable at this point—Pearl swallowed nervously, privately cursing the way her cheeks burned even more brightly as Jasper cupped her cheek. Still, she couldn’t look away, and some part of her didn’t want to. Jasper was smiling—not quite for the first time, but it was still rare and mesmerizing—and Pearl found she didn’t want to miss seeing even a second of that smile.

 

This couldn’t possibly be more inappropriate.

 

“I—“ her voice caught, and Pearl bit the inside of her cheek, trying to remember how to speak. Pearls were designed to answer direct questions, no matter the difficulty. She wished it were easier to avoid, but under Jasper’s bright stare, it was almost impossible to think straight. “I don’t know. I doubt it. My sisters—they didn’t. I don’t think they had the occasion to.” Pearl managed to avert her eyes, right hand reaching up and settling at Jasper’s wrist, holding on loosely. “I fluster easily, that’s all.”

 

"Well. It's... attractive," Jasper complimented. And on impulse she slid her thumb over Pearl's soft cheek, where the blue was most concentrated. Pearl didn't seem to be protesting her touch. The only sign that she might mind was the hand she placed on Jasper's wrist, but it wasn't trying to tug her away yet either. So Jasper allowed herself to relax.

 

"Maybe it's better that way. Unique. It makes you stand out."

 

Jasper thought of her own face and how it always sported two colors. She'd been made that way-- produced with her own pattern of stripes that she'd worn all her life. But Pearl took something so ordinary and made it interesting to look at. Even the way her pink lips moved as she formed words, or the way she blinked up at Jasper, made the soldier want to just stop and look at her forever. A strange thought, she realized, but not one that could be easily ignored.

 

Pearl’s breath caught in her throat at the feeling of Jasper’s calloused finger traveling over her burning cheek. All Gems could blush—she’d even seen _Garnet_ do it a few times—but she knew it was especially noticeable against her alabaster skin, especially when her blush was blue. The others’ blush blended into their natural colors.

 

Pearl found herself wondering how Jasper would flush, and that thought was almost more embarrassing than Jasper’s compliments.

 

“I—I… never considered that it could be a good thing,” she admitted shyly. Standing out as a warrior was one thing—she’d worked hard at that for most of her existence. Eons of work perfecting her art was one thing to be complimented on; she had earned that.

 

She’d just been made this way.

 

Pretty and polished, dainty and delicate—these were parts of herself Pearl had long ago given up, tried to repress. She couldn’t be those things for Rose Quartz as long as there was a war to fight, and especially not when she had to fight daily for her existence against monsters afterwards.

 

Pearl swallowed hard, giving Jasper’s wrist a gentle squeeze. “Thank you.”

 

"There you go, thanking me again," Jasper responded with a light chuckle. "I'm just making a statement. I can't be the first Gem to mention that you're attractive."

 

Jasper took another glance at Pearl and then forced herself to separate. She pulled her hand away from Pearl's face, clearly in no real hurry to do so. She had some sliver of hope that Pearl would keep holding onto her wrist.

 

"Anyway. Enough standing around. We'll never get anywhere at this point," she teased. She used her other hand and placed it on the doorframe, expecting the door to open automatically like any door on Homeworld would. She tapped her palm against the frame a second time. The door stayed in place. She frowned heavily.

 

"Pearl."

 

Pearl’s loose grip lingered, all too comfortable even after Jasper had drawn her hand away, and she easily moved to Jasper’s side without letting go. “Hm?” she murmured, then, realizing Jasper’s conundrum, she had to smother a smile. “Sorry—ah, I’ll get it. It’s manual,” she explained, releasing her hold to pull the door open for her ally.

 

“Oh! The note—“ Pearl gasped, glancing toward the refrigerator. The grocery pad was missing—probably Amethyst’s fault—and she paused, faltering for a moment, before producing another from her Gem. The world tried to tilt, but Pearl had the door to brace herself on, and she hastily scrawled an explanation for Garnet in perfect penmanship. With the door already open, she tacked it to the mesh, where Garnet would surely see it if she came inside. “There we are.”

 

Jasper grumbled something about the door being 'pathetic' and a 'piece of outdated Earth junk', but kept her other thoughts about the Crystal Gem's base to herself for now. She'd have to have a discussion with Pearl about utilizing Peridot's technician skills and her own strength to reinforce the place. As it was, it seemed less like a battle-ready base and more like some kind of box for a human to be contained in.

 

She watched impatiently as Pearl wrote her note and attached it to the screen, not bothering to read it for herself.

 

"Let's go. We'll probably be back before she even notices we're gone."

 

Pearl couldn’t quite make out Jasper’s grumblings, but she couldn’t find it in her heart to argue. She wasn’t entirely wrong, of course; there were far more modern options, just none that were within Greg’s incredibly limited budget. Pearl didn’t think explaining that was a battle worth fighting, not right now.

 

“With my luck, she’ll be at the stairs when we get back,” Pearl said lightly, following Jasper over the threshold. The cool sea breeze felt good against her burns, and she pushed her still sleep-mussed hair away from her face, absently reaching for the crook of Jasper’s arm as she started for the stairs. “Do you have a preference for where we walk? I imagine you’re tired of the ocean.” Which was unfortunate, given their present location. But Pearl wasn’t foolish enough to try warping in her current state, and especially wouldn’t put Garnet through those worries.

 

"That's an understatement," Jasper said through gritted teeth, helping Pearl down the stairs without thinking anything of it. The ocean was out of the question.

 

"Anywhere in the opposite direction," she huffed. Now that she was outside, she was beginning to remember what it looked like. It was brighter now, of course, and clearer. She glanced upwards at the cliff beside them and vaguely recalled what it looked like from a distance.

 

"We can start by climbing the hill here. It'll give me a good vantage point and I can survey the immediate surrounding area."

 

“That suits me fine,” Pearl said, thankful beyond measure that she had managed the stairs, albeit with Jasper’s help. Her legs trembled just a little, but she had been in worse shape and climbed higher.

 

The alabaster Gem cast her gaze up at the bluff and frowned a little. That would certainly be harder to mount than the stairs. “At least we won’t be on sand,” she added lightly, “I think I’ve had quite enough sand in my burns for one day.”

 

Jasper paused then, reminded of Pearl's remaining burns.

 

"You won't be on anything but my shoulder," she said, holding out her arms in order to give Pearl a lift.

 

"I'm carrying you."

 

Her voice was firm, leaving little room for argument. She looked at Pearl expectantly.

 

Pearl started to protest automatically, but the argument died on her lips. She hesitated somewhat uncertainly, hands raised uselessly between them. She couldn’t very well object _now_ , and she didn’t think for a moment that Jasper would allow it if she tried.

 

Still it was… embarrassing, realizing that they would be heading toward the city, up to the lighthouse, like that. Pearl had hoped that she would get the chance to walk some, even though her knees and shins throbbed at the very idea.

 

“Alright,” Pearl relented, cheeks flushed an increasingly familiar blue. She reached to push Jasper’s long hair out of the way, experimentally setting a hand on her bicep before turning to climb up onto her shoulder.

 

She wasn’t surprised in the least that Jasper’s shoulder could support her, but she somewhat uncertainly settled a hand in her hair to keep her balance. “Is this okay?”

 

Jasper had decided she wasn't waiting any longer than it took, so she started moving before giving a reply. She was eager to get up higher and see what was around them, and she would have simply started scaling the cliff side if it weren't for Pearl.

 

"Yeah, but you'd better hold on," she warned.

 

Naturally, the movement caused Pearl to shift a little on Jasper's shoulder. Instinctively, Jasper reached up and gripped Pearl's thigh to keep her in place. She hadn't meant to, exactly. But once she realized it, she figured it would be that much more embarrassing to let go of her. Maybe Pearl just wouldn't notice. She quickened her pace slightly.

 

"Are you good?" She asked roughly.

 

Pearl let out a truly undignified yelp as she rocked on Jasper’s shoulder, automatically reaching for her hand. Long fingers closed around the bigger Gem’s knuckles without pause, and Pearl ignored the way her shoulder throbbed in protest.

 

“I-I’m okay,” Pearl affirmed, crossing her ankles as she tried to find purchase. “Stars above, you’re taller than I realized.”

 

Jasper smiled.

 

"I believe I hold the title of tallest Gem on Earth," she replied. "I'm even taller than two Gems combined."

 

And truly she was massive even compared to Garnet, so it wasn't so much an insult as it was an observation. Or at least, she could argue it that way if Pearl reprimanded her for taking yet another jab at the fused Crystal Gem.

 

"Don't tell me you're afraid of heights."

 

The jibe at Garnet didn’t go completely unnoticed, but Pearl shook her head. There were plenty of Fusions taller than Jasper, Opal included—but she knew that was murky territory with the soldier. Still, she opted to tread lightly. “I’m not,” she assured her, then paused, mustering up a grin. She liked heights as well as anything—her room was situated far above Amethyst’s for a reason. Straightening a little, she peered around. “I just don’t usually get to see things from this height for myself. It’s different if you’re fused. They’re not really _your_ eyes anymore.”

 

Jasper grunted unhappily.

 

"I know," she mumbled. Then, re-thinking what Pearl had just said, another thought came to mind that momentarily distracted from thinking about the abomination that kept her prisoner for too long. She started up the hill and held onto Pearl just a little tighter as they began their ascent.

 

"How often do _you_ fuse?" She asked, disbelief tinting her voice.

 

"Not often these days," Pearl admitted, giving Jasper's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Usually with Amethyst... We were Opal when you and Peridot arrived. But we don't stay fused long. Garnet and I fuse, sometimes, but..." She trailed off, sighing. "I don't think we will again for a while."

 

"Any pearl caught fusing like that on Homeworld-- if a pearl were even stupid enough to try-- and fusing with a mixed fusion? I've never even heard of that! You talk as if it's normal. You talk as if you want to do it again. Why would you ever want to be a part of something like that?"

 

Jasper stared at the ground ahead of her, her pulse quickening.

 

"Even when the fusion has all that power, all that strength, you lose yourself inside of it. Like you said, they aren't your eyes. It's not your anything."

 

Pearl was quiet for several moments, absently stroking Jasper’s hair without giving the action any thought. “It’s… complicated,” she said at length, sighing faintly. “My experiences with Fusion have almost all been positive, for starters. And until… relatively recently, getting lost in it was _exactly_ what I would’ve liked.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “A pearl like me fighting is strange enough, shouldn’t I be willing to give everything to ensure victory in a fight? What did it matter if I gave up being myself for that?” She shook her head, sighing faintly. “Of course, it helps that I’ve only fused with my… my friends. I trust them completely. And Rose encouraged all of it.”

 

"I'm not surprised. Rose Quartz would have done anything to win-- _did_ do anything to win. Encouraging mixed fusions was part of her strategy."

 

And Jasper could see why now. Fusions between Gems of the same type had the potential to multiply their strength and size. But fusion between her and Lapis Lazuli had resulted in something so much more powerful. Destructive. Toxic.

 

"But why afterwards?" She asked. This was the part she couldn't wrap her head around. She couldn't fathom the types of positive experiences Pearl had with the act.

 

"Of course you would have wanted to give yourself over to strength and power. But it's not worth it. Being trapped like that," Jasper scowled. Nothing was worth being held down by Lapis. And, ironically, nothing had made her feel weaker.

 

Pearl listened, watched what little of Jasper’s face she could see beneath fluffy cream-white hair, and she couldn’t help frowning at her companion’s displeasure. She didn’t know how to explain the wild differences between what Lapis had done and what she would gladly do if Garnet or Amethyst asked.

 

“Well, afterwards, we did have monsters to fight. The Moon Jelly isn’t the worst thing we’ve faced,” Pearl admitted slowly, “We’ve fought whales with eight legs, living islands, giant birds that explode into a million smaller monsters—Alexandrite, Sardonyx, Opal, Sugilite, Rainbow Quartz, they’re all capable of things we aren’t individually.”

 

She was quiet then, looking back at the Temple, the ultimate proof of mixed Fusion being beautiful and successful. Compared to Malachite, she had been a dream. “If it’s with someone you can trust, you don’t get… trapped, so much,” she murmured at length, “You can get stuck. Garnet and Amethyst’s Fusion hates to unfuse. Amethyst and I can barely maintain Opal, though. It’s hard to feel trapped when you’re doing everything you can to stay together.” She smiled ruefully, but it faded. “When Garnet and I fuse, it’s easy. Effortless. Sardonyx comes undone when she’s finished with what she’s doing.”

 

That was part of the problem. Pearl hadn’t wanted to unfuse—wanted to stay with Garnet, with Ruby and Sapphire, forever, and never find herself again. And she’d used Garnet without a thought for how she felt about it. The guilt was still fresh, still kept at her when she was alone.

 

Pearl felt the sting of tears in her eyes thinking about it, and she carefully untangled her hand from Jasper’s hair to scrub at her eyes. “Alexandrite, though, she’s _hard_ to maintain. But effective. But it’s almost impossible to work together with the others and operate seamlessly for long. Sooner or later, one of us gives.”

 

"And she still managed to take...'us' out," Jasper murmured, unsure of how exactly she should refer to Malachite. Even the use of 'us' and 'we' felt too united. She let out a breath of air through her clenched teeth.

 

"I'm telling you, nothing can get me to go back to that. It just showed me how _sick_ it really is. I didn't know... If I had known I wouldn't have..."

 

She could feel her nails digging into the skin of her own palm as she tensed.

 

In the interest of getting away from her own experiences, Jasper changed the subject quickly.

 

"And your 'garnet'. That fusion is living a lie! A Gem forcing another to stay together permanently to walk around as one. Don't you get it? It's not right. That's not the way Gems were meant to live!"

 

Pearl was silent for long moments. She could tell that now wasn’t the time to argue semantics, but neither could she sit by and let Jasper’s words go unchallenged. She sighed, settling for stroking her hair sympathetically.

 

“They don’t see it that way,” she said softly, “Ruby and Sapphire. They don’t like being apart. They never have. That’s why they’ve stayed as Garnet since the start of the war.” Among other reasons, but their relationship wasn’t something Pearl could explain or properly defend. “It’s not right to force or trick someone to Fuse. It’s not right to lie about your intentions. What Lapis did was _inexcusable_. But it’s not the same thing, Jasper.”

 

Jasper paused, more than halfway up the hill. She turned and glanced out at what was visible of Beach City so far. A light breeze ruffled the unkempt grass at her feet and the tips of the long hair Pearl currently had her hand in. She took a moment just to let the earth move. It had been awhile since she'd had the choice to just stop. To let her guard down, even a little, or to take a deep and calming breath. Completely in control again. Her grip on both Pearl's thigh and her own clenched fist relaxed with the rest of her, though her anger and disgust persisted.

 

"Well I like being apart. I like being one single, strong, independent Gem."

 

With that said, she turned once more and continued their journey up the slope, nearing the lighthouse with each step.

 

Pearl smiled a little, barely an upturn of the corner of her lips, and she gave Jasper’s hand a squeeze. “Well, I like you better this way, too,” she said softly, glancing up at the lighthouse as they drew closer. She hoped Ronaldo wasn’t there—she could only imagine how little Jasper wanted to interact with a human at the moment, especially a particularly unusual one like the elder Fryman brother.

 

“You don’t ever have to Fuse again if you don’t want to,” Pearl murmured, just barely over the wind. “None of us will try to make you.”

 

"A small consolation. I don't need your pity, Pearl," Jasper replied, catching Pearl's words and feeling her hold her hand just that much tighter. Her lips flattened into a line before she added,

 

"But I appreciate your effort. You're... kind. I've never met a Gem that wanted to understand, or cared enough to listen. I don't know if you're actually invested or it’s just in your nature."

 

“Maybe some of both,” Pearl admitted with a light shrug, “I’m not always kind. Not to everyone. Certainly not if I dislike them. But… I’ll admit, it’s strange. This morning I would have been happy to see you bubbled forever, but now…” she trailed off briefly, gaze distant. “It’s… refreshing. Comforting. Being near someone who’s seen some of the same things. Garnet and Amethyst’ve never seen Homeworld, and Garnet and I don’t talk about the war. It’s nice, being around another veteran. Even if we were on different sides. I like talking to you.”

 

"I like talking to you too," Jasper admitted. "And I can relate. You remember what Homeworld was like before the big change. You may have been loyal to Rose Quartz, but at least your loyalty didn't meet an end. That counts. In my opinion." She reached the lighthouse yard and headed towards the fence closest to the entrance, not in any rush to put Pearl down yet. Her eyes scanned the scenery below, enjoying the height she had over everything.

 

"Plus, you listen. Which is more than I can say for most Gems."

 

“That part might be design,” Pearl half-teased, threading her fingers through Jasper’s bangs to get a look at her face. Even if her position was somewhat precarious, it was easy enough to have full faith that Jasper wouldn’t drop her as she leaned forward. She smiled. “I’m glad you think it counts for something.” She paused, “I would have liked to stay. If an agreement could’ve been reached. I may be a rebel, but I don’t _completely_ detest Homeworld’s structure and rules. I just… loved her more. And her dream.”

 

Jasper felt Pearl lean forward, but kept her steady. She peered up at her inquisitively as the smaller Gem brushed away her bangs.

 

"Yellow Diamond doesn't do agreements with traitors. Questioning her authority is the quickest way to get her fuming."

 

Jasper thought of Her Diamond and how outraged she must have been when she found out about Peridot's betrayal. She was almost sorry she missed it. If the Diamond took extra measures to display her rage against Earth and its rebellious Gems before the emergence of the Cluster, she'd no doubt have to put up with it without the small reward of seeing the Diamond lose her meticulous control.

 

She raised her eyebrows, inspecting Pearl's face as she examined Jasper's.

 

"You were Rose Quartz's, Pearl. Just think if you'd tried to talk her out of what she wanted to do."

 

"Yellow Diamond? She never would've spoken to me alone," Pearl almost laughed, but her sister's face came to mind, lovely and weeks away even by Gem craft, and she sobered. "Rose tried. She and I didn't... Always agree. But her status in the Pink Court couldn't change Yellow Diamond's mind."

 

Pearl paused for a beat, closing her eyes against the sea breeze. "Unless you mean talking Rose out of something. I was constantly trying that," she sighed wistfully, "Rose would smile... And then laugh, and thank me for my concern--and then, usually, do it anyway. It was just her way."

 

Jasper didn't reply right away. She actually laughed at first, thinking of Pearl trying to talk to Yellow Diamond and convince her of anything. Pearl had the spirit to argue against Jasper, but against a Diamond?

 

"That's just a funny picture. As if Yellow Diamond would ever let a Pearl had any influence over her."

 

She chuckled again.

 

"I was talking about Rose. But just as I suspected. She wouldn't let another Gem influence her..."

 

Jasper shot a knowing glance up at Pearl.

 

“Mm, not once she set her mind to something… Steven’s the same way,” Pearl murmured, glancing away with a rueful smile. “Yellow Diamond never really bothered with me. I did speak to her Pearl often. Blue Diamond’s, too. That’s just the way it was done, you know. We Pearls kept to ourselves. I just heard everything secondhand from Rose. Gossip, disagreements, meetings…”

 

And so much more, so much that she missed and could never have again.

 

“Rose took our counsel well, but in the end, she was the leader. Everything was her call. All for the Pink Banner, for Earth.”

 

"I saw Yellow Diamond a handful of times. My superiors mostly dealt out her commands to us. I used to get a big thrill out of serving her. It was an honor."

 

Jasper's eyes scanned the ocean despite her better judgment. It seemed to stretch on forever from here, endless and vast. It really did cover most of the planet.

 

"I never pictured myself as a rebel."

 

She tilted her head back to get a better look at Pearl.

 

"I'm going to get you down now."

 

“You wouldn’t go back if you had the chance?” Pearl asked, somewhat surprised. “Under her reign, that is. I suppose it matters less in practice, but…” Peridot, at least, had choice in the matter. Her rejection of Yellow Diamond’s rule had been her own doing.

 

When Jasper let her down, Pearl kept a hand curled around her arm for support, legs wobbling somewhat under her slight weight. She did feel much better, though, able to support herself without too much effort. “This may sound strange,” Pearl started a little uncertainly, “But I’m sorry for the loss of your Diamond. I… know it’s hard.”

 

"I'm not sure. I never had the thought. The choice to do anything but serve her. This is the first time I've ever considered there being any other sort of life. A good soldier doesn't question orders. Doesn't directly disobey her matriarch."

 

Jasper brought an arm around Pearl to hug her again. At very least she had experienced this new alliance because of her failure. And it was becoming something comfortable and refreshing and new after so many years of stale repetition.

 

"But what would you know about that? You followed your Diamond to a whole different system. Sacrificed yourself for her. Lived beyond her and continue to stand up for her."

 

Pearl leaned comfortably into the embrace, closing her eyes to enjoy Jasper’s warmth, however briefly. Jasper was right, of course; soldiers and pearls weren’t all that different in practice. The freedom to choose was almost completely unique to Earth, to being away from Gem-controlled planets and colonies.

 

And then Jasper spoke again, and Pearl froze.

 

“You caught that, too,” she murmured, feeling her cheeks heat a little. “You really are incredibly sharp, Jasper. I’m impressed.”

 

Jasper smiled down at her.

 

"Yes. I wasn't made yesterday, Pearl." She decided to return Pearl's earlier gesture, tangling her fingers quickly in her hair now that she once again had the advantage of her height over her. She ruffled the pink locks out of place, making some of it stick up and to the side. She apparently found this amusing, giving a short laugh in the back of her throat and cracking a smile.

 

Pearl started to protest—there had been Gems in Rose’s Army that hadn’t realized, had never figured out why one Quartz Gem was so much more formidable than any other, and Jasper had guessed almost immediately—but the big hand ruffling her hair drove the thought from her mind, and she giggled helplessly. It felt nice.

 

It reminded her of the way Rose would muss her hair eons ago, except that Jasper’s hand was bigger, more calloused. In the big scheme of things, Rose had spent relatively little time on the battlefield.

 

“Amethyst, Peridot, and Steven don’t know,” Pearl managed, but she was smiling when she looked up at Jasper, cheeks flushed. “Garnet’s the only one left who knew.”

 

Jasper was puzzled by the idea that Steven wouldn't know what Rose Quartz once was. The concept of the boy having no memories of her past or of her existence was difficult to accept. But it was one thing in a long list of things Jasper was still trying to process about Earth and the Gems living on it.

 

"Guess that's one thing the fusion and I have in common. The one and only thing."

 

But even the mention of Garnet did little to change Jasper's almost pleased expression as Pearl smiled up at her.

 

“You’re both stubborn. I’m sure you’ll take ages to come around to each other, if you do,” Pearl said lightly, reaching with her left hand to try to fix her messy hair—she caught herself short, before her shoulder could remind her just how battered it was, and used her right instead. Still, her burns were fading nicely, and the cool breeze on a warm day felt marvelous. Pearl was glad that Jasper had opted to go for this walk, even if she’d had to be carried.

 

Thinking of Garnet had Pearl’s gaze turn in the direction of the house, even though she couldn’t see it. There was a functional warp pad relatively near the barn, and Garnet could easily return on foot, depending on her whim. There was really no telling.

 

“I think you’ll like Amethyst, at least,” Pearl said at length, “Though two full Quartzes… I don’t know how I’ll survive.”

 

Jasper shrugged.

 

"It's really more like a Quartz and a half. Or a fourth..."

 

Jasper stopped herself from continuing to unintentionally insult the purple Gem to give Pearl a questioning glance.

 

"What do you mean by 'survive'? Don't think you can handle it?" She was amused once more, however Pearl meant the comment. She put her hands on her hips and smirked.

 

"I used to have to deal with dozens of Quartzes every day. I was surrounded by them during the war, even off the battle field. And do you know what Quartzes do in their downtime when they aren't fighting someone else? They fight each other. Now _that_ you wouldn't survive."

 

“She causes enough trouble for three of you Quartzes, when she has a mind to,” Pearl countered, crossing her arms over her chest. It hurt, but the pose was familiar. She matched Jasper’s smirk with a lopsided grin. “Do you think we didn’t have Quartzes on our side during the war? I had to train them!” Admittedly, they didn’t have dozens. The Kindergartens they had liberated were mostly mined out.

 

“Besides, I have to clean up after you Gems. No one else will,” she chuckled, “I may be a soldier, but keeping things in order in peace time is important, too.”

 

"Ohh, so you _do_ think you can handle it. I admire your confidence."

 

Jasper used a hand to smoothly brush her hair back over her shoulder, just to give the Gem in front of her a clearer view of the defined muscles in her bicep.

 

"A little Pearl like you training Gems my size. Ha! I don't know how you managed that. It's impressive. Even trained professionals have trouble keeps a rowdy group of soldiers in line. You know, I wonder if you would have been able to get through to my brigade. Can't decide if they'd listen, laugh, rip you apart, or salivate until their feet got wet. Probably a mix of all four."

 

Pearl knew not to let her gaze linger too long, but it was hard not to appreciate Jasper’s raw musculature. She really was everything a Quartz soldier should have been—but with the age and experience to add extra appeal, and Pearl flushed at the thought.

 

“I’ll show you when we spar, won’t I?” Pearl said, but she knew already that she would lose in a proper match, weapon or no weapon. She flushed a little, glancing aside, up at the lighthouse. “I’m not so distracting, though, am I? Or are you just immune?”

 


	8. Overlap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl realizes the obvious and does not handle it gracefully.

Jasper was actually taken aback by the question. In all honesty, Pearl _was_ distracting, and Jasper found that she enjoyed that about her. She was fascinated not only by Pearl's features, adorable as they were, but by her ability to make the soldier feel better about being stuck on Earth. Even in such a short span of time, Pearl had managed to draw her concentration away from everything awful and give her something to smile about. And that was truly against all odds. Jasper bit her tongue, following Pearl's gaze and looking away as well.

 

"I wouldn't say I'm immune," she replied.

 

She hadn’t expected that.

 

Pearl felt the color in her cheeks increase tenfold, and she glanced back at Jasper out of the corner of her eye. “I see,” Pearl managed, and despite her earlier discomfort, she couldn’t help smiling a little. Jasper was distracting in her own right, in many ways, and the alabaster Gem cleared her throat nervously. “It makes us even, then.”

 

Jasper blinked, attention brought back to Pearl's flushed face. The inexplicable feeling was back--the heat coursing through her, flaring at the base of her neck and shooting upwards. The tightening in her chest, the deafening pounding within. Jasper wet her suddenly dry lips, curled at the corners as she processed what Pearl meant.

 

"Does it? Huh."

 

She puffed up just a little, self-confidence flooding in. She dared to shift herself closer to Pearl, lessening the distance between them.

 

"You find me distracting, Pearl?" She asked, purposely lowering her voice.

 

The low rumble of Jasper’s voice certainly didn’t help with Pearl’s embarrassment. Or her distraction. She could feel it in her chest, even though they weren’t touching, and Pearl knew all too well that the attraction she felt was entirely inappropriate. Jasper had been the enemy until less than a _day_ ago.

 

To say nothing of the similar effect Garnet still had on her, millennia in.

 

Still, Pearl swallowed hard, meeting Jasper’s eyes with more effort than she cared to admit, even to herself. “Well—look at you!” Pearl managed, gesturing to Jasper’s broad shoulders, down her torso and back up again. “I mean—I think any Gem would. You’re very…” Words failed her, and she shook her head, cheeks blazing, looking anywhere but Jasper’s face now. “Easy to be distracted by. I think.”

 

"That's true," Jasper said, the happy smirk not losing any of its shine. She knew she wasn't average by any means, and neither was Pearl for that matter. But the little Gem in front of her was flustered and Jasper was going to use her sharp tongue to her advantage.

 

"But I think we both know you don't just mean I'm a Gem that turns heads when she walks by. Come on, Pearl. Say what's really on your mind."

 

 _This_ was exactly what she wouldn’t survive; Jasper teasing her would only encourage Amethyst, and Amethyst would never, ever, as long as the Earth was whole, let her live it down. Pearl let out a strangled groan of embarrassment, hiding her burning face in her hands.

 

She knew Jasper wouldn’t let it go until she confessed, however. Not when she already clearly had an idea of what was going through Pearl’s frantically racing mind.

 

“ _I find you very, distractingly, attractive_. There!” Pearl said in a breathless rush, “Not that you actually _needed_ to hear me say it!”

 

A full blown smile stretched across Jasper's face.

 

"Oh but I did," she replied, practically soaking in the moment with a deep breath, savoring Pearl's hurried but very clearly sincere confession. Jasper couldn't remember a time she'd felt happier in the last decade, at least. The urge to tease the Crystal Gem further was overwhelming, but she chose to use the thing that she figured would get the best reaction. So Jasper finally bent forward and titled her head so that she could give a raspy whisper close to Pearl's ear.

 

"I find you distractingly attractive as well."

 

The sound that left Pearl’s throat was involuntary, a strangled whine of protest. This hadn’t happened thousands of years ago—though the Smoky Quartzes and Amethysts they had enlisted in Rose’s Army were also delightfully attractive, they hadn’t had this kind of effect on her. Jasper’s sudden invasion of her personal space had her hair standing on end, and her voice certainly didn’t help.

 

“You’re just teasing me,” Pearl mumbled, trying to get her breathing and heart rate under control simultaneously. It wasn’t working. She peeked between her fingers at the bigger Gem, still blushing furiously. “I can’t believe it’s _working_. But I know what you’re doing. Jerk.”

 

Jasper pulled back just a little. She kept herself more at Pearl's level, hands on her hips and smile persistent despite Pearl's name-calling. Did Pearl not believe her?

 

"I'm not _just_ teasing you. There's more to it than that."

 

She let her eyes sweep over the other Gem again. Her pulse wouldn't slow and she was pretty sure her chest was about to burst.

 

"But go on, tell me what I'm doing. I don't think you have it figured out yet," she challenged. It had to be this adrenaline coursing through her; it was the only feeling she could relate her symptoms to, even if this was a thousand times more pleasant than the rush of not knowing if you'd make it out of a battle alive. She never imagined anything but fighting would give her a thrill, but she was excited and eager and hopeful all at the same time.

 

For several moments, Pearl stared, slowly drawing her hands away from her face. Jasper wanted her to believe there was more than just teasing afoot, but in that case… the next possibility…

 

“Oh dear,” Pearl whispered.

 

Genuine, mutual interest wasn’t a possibility—wasn’t an option. Neither of them could, because it would mean…

 

“I’m awful at this,” Pearl managed to admit, flustered and _guilty_. “I—we—we can’t. We’re flirting, aren’t we? Oh stars, we are…”

 

Jasper couldn't say that was exactly the response she'd anticipated. Pearl didn't sound completely disappointed, but she wasn't showing the same kind of excitement Jasper was holding on to either. It made Jasper more nervous than it ever should have.

 

"What's wrong with that?" she asked, this time tilting her head with confusion.

 

"You think I'm attractive. I think you're attractive. What more is there to it?"

 

Jasper felt the warmth crawling up her neck, trying to reach her cheeks. Of course there was more to it than this, and things that happened after flirting. But those sorts of things weren't on her mind. Not at the forefront of it, anyway.

 

"I mean, what more is there to worry over?"

 

It wasn’t for want of excitement. Or interest. Pearl hadn’t had feelings for another Gem that were returned—explicitly—in what felt like eons. Rose Quartz’s love of humankind had always weighed heavily on her. Her dalliances with men and women alike had worn at her heart from the inside, left a hole that never seemed to fill.

 

Pearl averted her eyes. “I… It’s not fair to you,” she whispered, wringing her hands. “I still… that is, I also have… very similar feelings. For Garnet. For such a long time. I’ve been in that position, Jasper, you shouldn’t… be left to feel second best. I don’t want to do that to you.”

 

Jasper stared at her for a moment, her jaw dropping wide open.

 

"The _fusion_?"

 

Thoughts buzzed through Jasper's mind so quickly she barely knew which to think first. Her smile was completely gone, as was her composure. She tore away from Pearl, pacing the yard.

 

"Of course. I shouldn't be surprised. Of _course_ it's the fusion."

 

Jasper's fists tightened and she growled.

 

"Second best!"

 

She suddenly kicked one of the posts of the white picket fence and sent it flying at top speeds. It shot through the air, soaring out towards the horizon and landing somewhere in the Earth's wretched ocean. She took in a deep breath and let it out before turning towards Pearl.

 

"I'm not settling for that. What makes her so much better? I can beat her at anything. I'll find her and challenge her right now!"

 

Somehow that reaction was better than Pearl had expected.

 

She still cringed at Jasper’s tone, watched the fencepost go flying until it was barely a pinprick against the horizon, and stayed perfectly still throughout.

 

“Jasper…” Pearl started, uncertain. She wanted to reassure her, but knew better. There was nothing she could say. Nothing that was completely true—and the last thing she wanted to do was lie. Not that she was very good at it to begin with.

 

The alabaster Gem sighed, wrapping her arms around her stomach, trying to stave off the sick guilty feeling that tried to settle there. Horrible, that was what she was. She didn’t deserve Jasper’s interest, not when she’d been so petty and jealous in the past—but then, neither could she help her own attraction, and Pearl wondered if Rose had ever felt even a little bit like this.

 

“Garnet doesn’t know,” Pearl murmured quietly, “I’ve never told her. I wasn’t going to. But…” she swallowed hard. “It’s stupid. Holding on to something that won’t ever come to pass. I’ll try to talk to her.”

 

Another pause, where Pearl tried to find her voice.

 

“You don’t deserve to be second, Jasper.”

 

"I won't _allow_ myself to be second, Pearl. I've already admitted how I feel. I'm not going back on my word."

 

She ground her teeth together in thought.

 

"I don't understand. How can she not know? All these years... She must have noticed how you felt."

 

This entire situation was more complicated than Jasper could grasp at the moment. She let out something like a scoff and a laugh at the same time.

 

"And is she blind behind that visor of hers? Just look at you!"

 

Pearl looked down at her feet, thin legs and arms still littered with burns that hadn’t completely faded, uniform tattered. Right now, she was sore, and blotchy, and unkempt from head to toe. She looked nothing like a proper pearl, even if Peridot had noticed that she was ‘fancy.’ She wasn’t broad, or muscular, or even—comparably—tall, though Amethyst and Peridot were both smaller than she was.

 

Whatever Jasper saw, Pearl wasn’t seeing it.

 

She saw her cracks and fissures, the dents the war had left in her, none of which were visible from the outside looking in. But Pearl could see them. They consumed her. She’d grown strong too late, found purpose and strength in all the wrong ways until only a few months back.

 

“If she noticed, she’s never mentioned it,” Pearl said bitterly, but the sting in her voice was entirely directed at herself, at her inadequacies. “Maybe she did notice. Maybe I’m not her type. Isn’t that usually how it goes? I wasn’t enough for Rose, and I was _made_ for her, why would anyone…” she trailed off, scrubbing at the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

 

Jasper slackened, something foreign brewing in her gut. Shame? Guilt? Whatever it was, it was rotten. Seeing Pearl cry like this, and for this reason, made her sick. She let go of her anger momentarily and approached her slowly.

 

"Pearl..."

 

She bit her tongue. She had never really been the type to comfort. That reaction didn't come naturally to her kind, much like gentleness and flexibility.

 

"How could you claim to not be enough? You. You're more than anyone would have ever expected."

 

Pearl didn’t laugh—it turned too quickly into a shuddering sob—but she shook her head, a weak protest at the praise. “I learned to fight, and die, and sing, and dance, and everything a pearl shouldn’t do, everything she should, all of it—but that’s not enough, not always,” she murmured, voice thick, eyes transfixed on the blurry ground beneath her toes. “I wasn’t _human_. Too Gem. That’s all it was, with Rose. Sometimes nothing you can be matters.”

 

She drew in a shaky sigh, trying to stop the hot tears that rolled down her cheeks unbidden, down her sharp nose. “So maybe… maybe I’m not Garnet’s type, either. Maybe being good enough isn’t _good enough._ Maybe I’ll ruin things if I talk to her. Maybe she already knows everything. She can see the future, she’ll see it coming a mile away—maybe that’s why I’ve never confessed,” Pearl’s voice was scarcely a whisper, and she hiccupped, dragging her hand over her eyes. “’M sorry, Jasper. Dumping this on you…”

 

"You don't have to be sorry."

 

Surely if she'd seen any other Gem giving such a weak and pathetic display, Jasper would have dismissed them. A sniveling quartz was no use to her. A topaz guard with tears streaming her face was as good as dirt. But in her short time on Earth, and her even shorter time with Pearl, Jasper was beginning to experience a change. And this little Gem in front of her didn't need reprimanding. She needed her ally to offer something in the way of support.

 

"Just stop," she said, regaining her confidence to take Pearl's arms and bring her closer, albeit in the most ginger way she could manage considering her strength.

 

"Forget about Rose and the fu-- the 'garnet'. Think about yourself. Before today, I thought all those stories about a strong, terrifying Pearl were just made up. But you proved me wrong. You proved Homeworld wrong! You _are_ strong, Pearl. Brave, intelligent, and capable. You don't need anyone else for that."

 

She searched Pearl's face to see if any of this was helping.

 

"You have power all your own."

 

Jasper’s tirade had certainly stopped her tears, for the most part, and she extracted an arm from her loose grip to dry her eyes. She sniffed, listened, and managed a weak nod. Power wasn’t something she cared as much for as the Quartz, but the sentiment was there, and Jasper’s attempts to convince her that she was worth something—that she was more than the glaring flaws that other Gems seemed to gloss over—did help. She swallowed hard, drew in a shaking breath, and reached for Jasper’s hand.

 

“Thank you,” Pearl whispered, and she looked up at Jasper with a watery smile. “I didn’t… this doesn’t usually happen.” It happened too often, but Pearl normally liked to think that she had the presence of mind not to break down crying on her friends. Or allies. Or whatever Jasper was rapidly shaping up to be.

 

"Yeah, well, I just don't want you to doubt yourself. It doesn't help either of us."

 

This was as open and as honest as Jasper thought she could manage. There was never any training in her time on how to assist a self-conscious Gem revealing her personal secrets. Pearl was still looking a little teary-eyed. The soldier took in a deep breath and held it for a second, avoiding her gaze.

 

"And as for Rose Quartz. It sounds to me like she didn't have the capacity to appreciate what she had. I won't make the same mistake she did. If ever given the chance, that is. You... You know what I mean."

 

Jasper almost pulled away from Pearl, the confusing feelings and their closeness making her restless and uneasy again. She hated having such little experience with these feelings. It was much easier and more fun, in her opinion, hiding behind bravado and poking at Pearl until she blushed.

 

“I do,” Pearl murmured, feeling her cheeks heat a little. Maybe that was true of Rose, and Pearl couldn’t contest it, but the much more important thing was that Jasper was willing to try with her. That meant the world, more than her earlier speech.

 

The sunlight was rapidly fading—and in the summer, that meant it was getting fairly late. Pearl glanced down the hill at Beach City, where lights were starting to come on. “We should probably get back,” she said at length, pushing her hair out of her face as the wind picked up. “Would you… I think I can make it. Maybe half way, at least.”

 

Jasper watched as the sun began to dip below the horizon, reminding her of how quickly the time passed on Earth. The bright light of the day was disappearing, and with it went some of the warmth-- one of the things she liked about the planet. Pearl caught her attention again.

 

"Hm? Oh."

 

Jasper had no issue seeing in the dark, but she wasn't sure about Pearl. Besides, it was a downhill climb now and she was still meant to be resting. Jasper scooped Pearl up while she faced her, securing her arms around the lithe Gem and starting to walk back the way they came.

 

"No need."

 

Pearl made a quiet noise of surprise, immediately putting her arms around Jasper’s neck for added support. She smiled faintly, closing her eyes for a moment and enjoying the warmth that rolled off of the bigger Gem. Jasper’s unexpected kindness shouldn’t have completely surprised her; Quartzes were much more complex than they liked to admit, more often than not. Still, she was pleasantly surprised.

 

The smaller Gem said nothing as they traveled down the hill, settling her head against Jasper’s shoulder.

 

“I envy you Quartzes,” Pearl said softly, “You keep warmth so well.”

 

"We have to," Jasper replied. "The galaxy isn't exactly full of its own heat."

 

But Pearl probably knew this. Jasper wondered if she could have possibly forgotten what it felt like up there after being stuck down on Earth for so long. Did she remember how cold it could be after her thousands of years basking in Earth's Sun? And did she know Pearl was doing just as much work as that burning star? Heating her from the inside just from being pressed against her?

 

"It comes in handy," Jasper continued. "I can't stand being cold."

 

The wind whipped about them again and Jasper was almost glad they were headed back to the little human shack.

 

She knew. Space was so cold and unfriendly in so many ways, but so nostalgic. Pearl still ached to visit the stars again, cold or otherwise. “Pearls like me are usually cold, since we’re supposed to stay still on Homeworld,” Pearl said lightly, and though the wind tore into her, burns and all, Jasper’s warmth kept her perfectly comfortable. She wondered whether newer pearls traveled at all, got to see the things Rose had shown her before they’d come to Earth.

 

Pearl hummed faintly, letting her eyes close again. “But I like it. You and Amethyst are lucky. I always envied that warmth. The Diamonds aren’t usually warm, either. Rose was, after we came here, but…”

 

The house wasn’t far off, and Pearl glanced over to the rising moon over the sea. “Were other worlds warm?” she asked eventually, “Humans have only recently started to travel off-world, and not very far.”

 

"Some more than others," Jasper said, thinking of all the climates she had visited of all the various places she'd been able to voyage to.

 

"The ones with molten cores are nice. The heat escapes from center and comes out... somehow."

 

A technical Gem had explained to her the details way back when, but she hadn't listened. She'd been preoccupied with orders and troops and a plethora of things far more important than the anatomy of a distant planet that would probably be torn open and harvested for resources in less than a decade anyway.

 

"But they're few and far between. Especially now, I figure. Yellow Diamond doesn't like to waste whatever she can squeeze out of a new territory. Still... There are worlds out there with their own yellow stars. They just don't look like this. Earth is something different."

 

Pearl listened, watching what little of Jasper’s face that she could really see, and nodded solemnly. “Yellow Diamond hasn’t changed, then,” she surmised, thinking back thousands of years to meetings she hadn’t been supposed to eavesdrop on. Rose had always been advocating for lesser life forms, organic or otherwise, and Yellow Diamond had almost always had Blue Diamond’s support in arguing against her.

 

“I understand why Rose loved Earth so much,” Pearl said in a sigh, eyes faraway, grip tightening a little on Jasper’s neck. “It really is different from so, so many other planets she tried to save. The humans are silly, and illogical, but still… maybe I’ve been here too long, but you can see more stars than you can from Homeworld’s system. Especially in the mountains.”

 

Then she chuckled, shaking her head. “But you wouldn’t like the mountains so much. They’re cold. Water freezes into snow instead of rain, and it’s beautiful—but cold and wet.”

 

"I've had enough of being cold and wet. I would be happy to go the rest of my days without being cold and wet."

 

As they rounded the corner of the cliff side once more, the beach house came into view. Jasper caught sight of Garnet just entering through the front door. She narrowed her eyes and frowned.

 

_Great._

 

"On second thought: That mountain is sounding really appealing right now. Let's go there instead."

 

Pearl’s eyes went briefly wide at the sight of Garnet beating them to the house. “Oh no,” she whispered, a hand flying to her mouth. A thousand worries burst to life in her chest, a familiar cold panic settling in, but of these, the first that came out of her mouth was; “Jasper, we didn’t put the couch back…”

 

"The... what? So?"

 

Jasper was more confused than anything. Pearl's initial panicked whisper had sent some kind of unfamiliar shiver through her, the meaning of which she couldn't pinpoint. It vanished so quickly anyway, replaced by the same disgruntled feeling she'd gotten when she was visually reminded of the fusion.

 

"If it wasn't meant to be moved, it would have been bolted to its resting surface. I don't see how that's a problem."

 

“It might look like you—or we—“ Pearl started, but then, belatedly, remembered her note. She had deliberately drawn a star in the hopes of reassuring Garnet that nothing was wrong. Hopefully that would assuage Garnet’s worries. She shook her head. “I just don’t want her to be upset. Especially when you haven’t done anything.”

 

"Oh yeah. Can't have that," Jasper grumbled sarcastically. "The fusion must be happy and pleased at all times."

 

The bottommost stair creaked as Jasper placed a heavy boot onto it. By now Garnet had certainly had some time to take in the combination of the note and the disarranged living space. If she was going to be upset, Jasper was ready for an argument.

 

Pearl frowned a little, but didn’t counterpoint. That wasn’t the _point_ —but then, she didn’t have a better one to offer. Garnet was her best friend, but she was also the Crystal Gems’ leader, and Jasper wasn’t a Crystal Gem. She looked down briefly as they mounted the stairs, then shut her eyes, willing her unkempt uniform back to its usual pristine state in a flurry of blue-white light.

 

“Garnet?” she called by way of warning, hoping that being the first to say something would help, somehow. She’d take the blame for their walk if she had to—not that she hadn’t been getting cabin fever, herself!—and maybe, just maybe a fight could be avoided.

 

Garnet had been surveying the room, wondering what exactly had gone down. Sometimes she almost wished she had the ability to look into the past and see things she'd missed. This wasn't exactly the future she'd had in mind.

 

She turned instinctively at the sound of Pearl's voice and the door opening. Jasper had had the sense to place Pearl back on her feet and tug the door just gently enough that it didn't completely crack off from the hinges.

 

Garnet folded her arms across her chest and kept her expression neutral.

 

"You're back."

 

She still had the note crumpled in the palm of her hand. She'd spent several minutes just standing in the doorway staring at Pearl's curly letters. It was hard to believe Jasper hadn't somehow tricked her into it. Even harder to believe was that Pearl looked almost entirely healed. Or, at very least, she looked better than when Garnet had left her. She must have slept, then. But it didn't explain the rest.

 

Pearl detangled herself from Jasper as her feet met the porch, and she caught herself praying to deities that likely didn’t exist that her knees would support her. Luckily enough, they did, and she stepped gingerly into the house. “It was getting dark. We went up to the lighthouse,” she explained, trying not to fidget.

 

It was times like this where she wished that Garnet _didn’t_ wear a visor, but she knew there was nothing for it. She’d covered her eyes for so long that it carried into their fusions—but that didn’t make it easier to read her. Wide eyes searched Garnet’s impassive face, then dropped to her hand, to the crumpled piece of paper.

 

“We’ll—ah—put the couch back,” Pearl offered, briefly forgetting her injuries. “I’m sorry about the mess. I didn’t know when you would be back…”

 

"I don't care about the mess. I care that you're on your feet when you should have been resting."

 

Garnet's lips flattened into a straight line. She didn't mean to berate Pearl-- it was obvious the smaller Gem was nervous, and she needn't be. This was Jasper's fault, no doubt. It had to be the unpredictable Quartz that had changed fate.

 

"Sit down, Pearl," she instructed, talking as a leader more than a friend at this point. Jasper was there and she wasn't going to let herself get too comfortable.

 

Sure enough, the Fusion was upset. Pearl’s gaze found the floor, briefly, and she nodded, moving to the opposite cushions, adjacent to the kitchenette. These were bolted down, and easier to reach at present than the couch.

 

“I didn’t walk much at all,” Pearl said placatingly, worrying the inside of her cheek. “Jasper carried me. And I slept a while before we went out...” But she should have stayed inside, resting, at least until she heard otherwise from Garnet. The alabaster Gem folded her hands in her lap, but any outward appearance of calm was ruined by the visible tension in her face and arms. “I’m much better.”


	9. Give a Lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Pearl does not get the reaction she expected, and isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Garnet was too easily affected by Pearl's tendency to self-blame; it cut right through her, made her almost sick. The look on Pearl's face spoke volumes. It was looks like those that could break Garnet down, and not only from Pearl but from Amethyst too. Still, there was the matter of a certain soft spot for a certain Gem that wasn't going away any time soon.

 

Seeing Pearl this upset wasn't helping matters, and it especially wasn't helping Jasper's case. But why had Pearl let Jasper carry her? Why had she even agreed to going on a walk like that in the first place?

 

"I'd like to hear an explanation," Garnet said, wanting to cut to the chase. She was specifically looking at Jasper, despite not expecting much of an answer from her. Sure enough, the orange Gem scowled and moved to start putting the couch back into place.

 

"Of what?" She barked back. "We went on a walk. That's it."

 

An explanation was something that should have come easily. Pearl had explained much more uncomfortable things in recent memory, but she found her tongue tied, and that sick feeling of guilt wouldn’t leave her stomach. It tasted like metal in her mouth, and Pearl licked her lips uncomfortably. “I took a nap on the couch,” she would have specified for how long if she’d thought to look at the clock before and after. “And I… well, Jasper was willing to watch over me. And I felt much better when I woke up, but we were both feeling cramped in the house. So we went up to the lighthouse for some fresh air. We talked a while, and then came back down.” She was glossing over details that Garnet deserved to know, and knew it, but courage was failing her. “The, ah… couch was because Jasper tried to bring it with us. For me.”

 

Garnet blinked behind her visor. She was sure the couch was the result of some altercation. The explanation was offering even less in the way of making sense of what had happened in her time away. There was something missing.

 

Jasper set the couch back into place and stood by Pearl almost in front of her like a guard, staring Garnet down in an almost-challenge. And something of the future became a little clearer.

 

"How was the walk?" Garnet asked, trying to loosen some of the tension. It was easier said than done. Garnet could feel herself tightening under Jasper's gaze.

 

Pearl knew Garnet too well to try buying time with talk of the sunset or the too-familiar sight of Beach City in the summer evening. “It was good,” she said, glancing up at Jasper uncertainly. She wasn’t about to bring everything Jasper had told her about Homeworld to the table, and the rest…

 

“We talked a lot. About many things,” Pearl said, glancing back up at Garnet, trying to meet her gaze through her visor. For all she knew, the Fusion could have been watching Jasper instead. “We talked about an alliance, and about Jasper helping to train Steven, and joining us on missions, since she’ll be here long enough. I… I’m willing to trust her.” She swallowed hard, pressing her palms together in her lap. Her throat was so dry that it burned to talk. “Garnet, I… there’s something I need to talk with you about, too. But I understand if it’s not the time.”

 

Garnet's heart pounded in her chest as the words left Pearl's mouth. Her fingers twitched and she tried to recover quickly by folding the note in her hand and not changing her expression. The future possibilities were narrowing, shooting from their various splinters into a more direct path that was becoming clearer and more alarming with every second that passed. She swallowed silently, glancing between Jasper and Pearl. She reached up to adjust her visor as causally as she could manage.

 

"Actually, I need to talk to you now, Pearl," she said seriously. "Alone."

 

The request startled her, and Pearl was briefly unsure of how to respond. Of course she would acquiesce, but…

 

“Jasper, do you mind?” she asked, managing a somewhat nervous smile that wasn’t as reassuring as she hoped it would be. “I can come get you afterwards, if you’re just on the porch…”

 

"Yes, actually, I do mind," Jasper replied, glancing back at Pearl. But she caught sight of Pearl's smile and groaned unhappily.

 

"Fine. It's not like I have anything better to do than sit around and wait for something to happen!"

 

She grumbled miserably on her way to the door, glaring at Garnet before she ripped the door open, dislodging one of the screws that held the bottom hinge together and letting it lopsidedly creak close behind her. That she was so willing to listen to Pearl's suggestion only further confirmed Garnet's suspicions-- something about the walk had brought the two of them closer together. The fusion took a seat next to Pearl without a word, trying to decide which one of them should start this conversation. Pearl seemed eager to say what was on her mind but characteristically hesitant at the same time. She let the note rest on the cushion beside her in favor of resting her hands on her knees. It was best to let Pearl begin. She'd made the request in the first place. And with Jasper out of the way, Garnet could allow herself to be less guarded.

 

Pearl wished she had Jasper’s considerably less emotionally taxing problem—while quartzes were terrible at waiting, or staying still, or most things pearls were intended for, at least the soldier didn’t have to contend with a conversation that had been put off for centuries.

 

She winced at the sound of the hinge coming loose, almost absently making a mental note to retrieve her toolbox and do the repairs before morning, even if Steven was still planning to sleep at the barn.

 

The silence between them was heavy, and Pearl looked up to Garnet uncertainly. Her heart was racing, and it didn’t make thinking any easier. “Do you… that is, I can go first. Unless you want to.”

 

Garnet had to remind herself to loosen the muscles in her jaw. Her teeth felt uncomfortably locked into place and she managed to pry them apart to speak. The worst part was that she already had an idea of what Pearl wanted to say. She could already hear her voice in her head, and wanted to skip right to the part where it was said and out there and resolved. But there was still that doubt. That chance that she didn't know exactly what was going to happen. It had occurred just today, when she'd expected one thing of Jasper and Pearl and returned to find something completely different. And was it truly fair to Pearl? To admit she knew what this talk was about before Pearl was even given the chance to say a word?

 

"Pearl, I'm not upset," she blurted finally. "I just want you to be honest with me."

 

She let her arms relax and turned to face her friend. And, as she began to focus more on the present, she added,

 

"But I can't promise I won't interrupt."

 

Wide eyes searched her face, though Garnet had never really been the type to lie to her. Still, she didn’t look upset—stressed, but that was to be expected. Pearl nodded, relaxing somewhat, and with a shuddering breath, steeled herself.

 

She might as well play her cards all at once.

 

“I just… it’s hard to know what to say,” Pearl admitted, feeling the too-telling blue flush spread up her face and neck. “It’s confusing and complicated, and I don’t know where to begin. I suppose chronologically.”

 

She was stalling. Pearl swallowed hard, shaking her head. The pounding in her chest reached her ears and was deafening. On impulse, she reached out for the other Gem’s hand, turning to face her properly. “You’re my best friend,” she started, “And I—Garnet, I _know_ you don’t feel the same, and I don’t blame you, but I wanted to tell—“

 

"Stop."

 

Garnet cut her off so soon, but her suspicions had been confirmed beyond reasonable doubt. She took in a deep breath and lifted her visor away from her face so that it vanished in an instant, dissolving into familiar bits of light. She looked at Pearl openly, despite how vulnerable and exposed she felt. Her heart continued to drum rapidly; there was no helping it, not with what she was about to say.

 

"Maybe it wasn't fair to make you go first. I just needed to know. I needed to be absolutely sure that what I saw was coming."

 

A breath of air like a laugh left Garnet and she smiled.

 

"It wouldn't be the first time you changed my fate."

 

She squeezed the pale hand in her own, not even glancing away from her best friend's face.

 

"I've been waiting for the perfect moment. For years I've tried to anticipate when that would be and I could never figure it out. But I'm not wasting one more second. Pearl. I don't want you to go another moment _thinking that I don't feel the same way_."

 

Pearl’s jaw dropped, pale blue eyes going almost impossibly wide, and the sound that managed to work its way past her lips was one of utter shock. Pearl had long been convinced that Garnet wouldn’t ever—even Rose had suspected that her feelings might be one-sided, when she’d inevitably noticed them—and hearing otherwise…

 

“Years?” she squeaked out in disbelief, never looking away from Garnet’s face. She so rarely removed her visor, despite being one of the most beautiful Gems Pearl had ever seen, and Pearl’s fingers shook when she squeezed her hand back.

 

She swallowed hard, unable to keep a smile from her lips, even as her eyes stung and threatened to fill with tears of joy. “Garnet, I never thought—I was sure— _years_?” she laughed, nervous energy finally leaving her in a helpless giggle. “You’re so full of surprises, stars…”

 

"Heh." Garnet was relieved. Pearl wasn't crying... at least not yet, so that was a good sign. Her stoicism had apparently done wonders for keeping one of her biggest secrets of all time. Maybe it was time to let some of that go. With the initial reveal out of the way and her eyes on display, Garnet could feel the red heat rise to her cheeks.

 

"More years than you're probably imagining right now," she admitted bashfully. "It was just never the right time. But I had to tell you now because..."

 

Garnet's gaze finally left Pearl and she pointedly looked towards the window to where Jasper was. Her eyes drifted then to her and Pearl's hands, entwined together between them.

 

Pearl followed Garnet’s gaze instinctively, and she froze. She’d been so excited, so swept up in the thrill of Garnet reciprocating…

 

“…Because I was about to tell you, too, that Jasper and I… oh dear,” Pearl’s voice collapsed into a breathless whisper, small and uncomfortable. Her gaze dropped to their hands then, and she traced the surface of the Gem in Garnet’s palm, looking for wisdom and patience and the strength not to start crying.

 

“I told her that I was sure you’d say no to me,” Pearl murmured, only keeping her voice steady by sheer force of will. “And… and I was. Until just now. But I… Garnet, I can’t hurt both of you. I can’t do what Rose did.”

 

"This isn't like that," Garnet was quick to say. She wouldn't let it be, that was for sure. Not after all the pain it had caused Pearl and all the confusion it had resulted in for the two of them.

 

"Maybe you could explain to me what exactly you're feeling."

 

The concept of Pearl developing attachment to Jasper like this wasn't going to be any easier to swallow-- Garnet wasn't without her own jealousies, naturally. But the more she tried to understand Pearl the more they could work together.

 

"I didn't exactly make it easy for you. I mean, you couldn't have known what I would say. So. Go ahead."

 

“Scared. But happy. And panicked,” Pearl whispered, trying to remember to breathe. Not that she really needed it, but it would help slow her racing thoughts. She swallowed hard. “I’m so happy you’d… ever at all return my feelings, even a _fraction_. But guilty, too, because it happened so fast. I…”

 

Right, breathing. Pearl swallowed a lump in her throat, looking up to search Garnet’s face. At least she wasn’t angry. “I like her, too. Jasper. I can’t very well explain it. But she took care of me today, and changed her mind about pearls—or at least about me. And she’s so… forward. In all the ways a quartz is. But I—I don’t know _why_ I’m drawn to her. It’s not like how I feel for you. A-and at the same time, it is. It’s alike enough that it scares me. I don’t even know her. But I feel like I do. I’m not making any sense, am I?”

 

Garnet chuckled. Gone was the stern leader, and in her place was the Gem who adored Pearl but had never been ready to say it out loud.

 

"No, but I think that's normal. Love is confusing. Love is dragonflies in your stomach, and doubting what you think you know, and wanting to find out more."

 

Garnet let her thumb brush over the soft, smooth surface of Pearl's hand.

 

"Don't be guilty, Pearl. Me letting you know how I feel isn't going to change how you feel, and I don't want it to. And it definitely isn't going to change Jasper."

 

Garnet felt something heavy churn in her stomach but she tried to hide her displeasure. The unhappy curl in her lips was a give away, and would have been even if Pearl couldn't see her eyes. Of all the Gems out there that Pearl could have developed feelings towards it had to be the one that wanted to literally rip Garnet in half and insulted her on the very core of her being. Jasper despised everything she fought to be on Earth, and Garnet couldn't say she agreed with anything Jasper fought for.

 

"I can't lie and say I'm happy about it," she said, looking into Pearl's blue eyes. "I'm not even happy about her being here. But you're seeing something more in her. That's a start."

 

Instinct combined with a lack of pain in her right shoulder had Pearl reaching up for Garnet, brushing her fingers along the curve of her cheek before her palm made contact, curling lightly around her smooth jaw. There was a major difference here, too; Garnet made Pearl nervous when she was upset, but they had known each other for so long that touch came naturally. Pearl wanted to hold Garnet, to sooth her worries with her hands, or something more.

 

“I don’t want to make you unhappy,” Pearl protested, “That’s… that’s part of what scares me. You said this isn’t like what Rose did, but it _feels_ like it, Garnet. I already know I love you, and I always have, and it’s never going to change—but how is this different? I…” she trailed off, blinking off tears, and shook her head. “This is _worse_ , because she hurt you, and I don’t understand why any part of me can forgive that.”

 

"There you go, feeling guilty over something that isn't your fault."

 

Garnet spoke softly, fondly, hoping to ease some of Pearl's own nerves. She leaned the slightest bit into Pearl's touch.

 

"You're being the bigger Gem, Pearl. Peace and forgiveness are exactly what Rose would have wanted. She hurt _Steven_ but he's forgiven her. He defended her and asked about her. He really cares. As hostile as she is, Jasper isn't our enemy. And one day, even I will come to forgive her."

 

It was inevitable, that much she was sure of. She wouldn't say it was soon, but it was eventual.

 

"Pearl, I want you to know that I am happy. Just knowing you're here; that's enough. You have to decide what's right for you-- what you want. And whether that includes Jasper, or me, or... Both of us..."

 

Garnet paused as the various futures flashed by like lightning and they were leaning so heavily towards that third option that Garnet couldn't help but mention it. She reached up to cup the hand against her cheek, covering it with one of her own.

 

"Well, whatever you choose, you don't have to worry. Do what feels right."

 

‘Both’ sounded precisely like what Rose had done, what she would have gleefully suggested. And yet, Garnet was the one saying so, bringing the possibility to the table. Pearl’s cheeks flushed at the idea, and she squeezed Garnet’s hand.

 

“All I do is worry,” Pearl half-teased, knowing it was all too true. She drew in a shaky breath. “Did you… really just say ‘both’ of you? A future like that exists? It sounds impossible.” The curiosity was too much to ignore. Pearl had to ask. But then as she so often did, she felt the urge to backpedal, and she swallowed nervously. “I can’t even imagine it. But…” But she wanted to, wanted Garnet and Jasper to at least get along. Ideally, she would have liked them to get past their differences. Maybe as friends.

 

Maybe more, if there was a future like that.

 

“I want _you_ to feel right about this,” Pearl insisted, “I want… I mean, I want both of you to be happy. I want to make you happy. And—and I want to make her happy, too. Stars above, we’ve all had enough misery between us for several lifetimes.”

 

Pearl had a point. They'd had enough pain and uncertainty. It was time for better things to come along. Garnet relaxed, her free hand reaching up to smooth Pearl's hair.

 

"I want to believe that I care about you more than any Gem on the planet does, but that's not a call I can make. It wouldn't be right for me to hold you back from pursuing something that might make you happier than you can even imagine."

 

Garnet would be the guilty one if she tried to discourage Pearl's feelings for Jasper. She didn't yet see anything appealing about the Quartz, but Pearl did, and she had the right to figure out what she wanted. Though, by the way she spoke, she sounded both shocked and intrigued about the possibility of having more than one Gem to call hers.

 

"And to answer your question... 'Both' is not as unlikely as you think."

 

The blush on Garnet's cheeks darkened.

 

"Surprisingly, there are many futures that exist where I do feel right about that. About us. About Jasper, as difficult as it is to picture in the moment. It will take time, and effort, and lots of communication, but it's far from impossible, Pearl."

 

Communication was the key to everything, something Pearl had learned too late with Rose. She was silent, enjoying Garnet's fingers in her hair while she tried to think.

 

"I'd like it," she said uncertainly, "The three of us. But that's up to you two. I won't... I can't make you feel something you don't. And I want to know her better before I... Eliminate any possibilities. Where everyone is happy. Is that right? Fair...?"

 

"I think so. I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't believe it would work."

 

And that was the truth. Future vision did have its advantages at times.

 

"I'm willing to try, Pearl. For you."

 

Garnet sighed somewhat happily, unable to resist pulling Pearl into her arms for a proper hug.

 

"I can't even describe how it feels to have finally told you. I guess... some things are going to change."

 

Pearl curled into her embrace easily, too happy to be in Garnet’s arms—properly, with no question of whether she was welcome—to let her throbbing shoulder bother her in the least. She tucked her face into the crook of Garnet’s neck, drawing in a deep breath and enjoying the other Gem’s scent.

 

“I’m so glad,” Pearl murmured, “I worried… even Jasper noticed. I worried you knew and didn’t reciprocate. I suppose that’s silly; you would’ve told me long ago…” she trailed off, then gave Garnet’s waist a squeeze. “I’m glad. I… I don’t know how this will work. Or even if it will. But stars, Garnet, I’m so happy already. Just that you’d ever consider…”

 

She drew in a shaky breath, trying to banish the beginnings of her mind’s usual depreciating spiral. Instead, she nuzzled Garnet’s shoulder. “I’m happy. I… I don’t know what to tell _Jasper_ , but I… I want this to be a good experience.”

 

"It'll definitely be an experience," Garnet murmured, savoring for a moment the feeling of having Pearl against her. She couldn't guarantee it would be "good", but they would find that out together.

 

"It's important that you're happy, Pearl. Just be honest with her like you were with me. That's all you can really do. And no matter what," Garnet tilted back so that she could look into Pearl's eyes one more time.

 

"I'll be here for you, Pearl. Always."

 

Hearing it aloud helped immensely—there was some small part of her that had worried that Garnet would withdraw over this, over Jasper’s potential involvement in their lives, romantic or otherwise. She nodded, leaning up to press a quick kiss to Garnet’s cheek as thanks, and with a final squeeze drew away. Her hand found Garnet’s shoulder pad for added support as she stood, and an experimental lean told her that her knees likely wouldn’t give out.

 

“I’ll go talk to her,” Pearl said, swallowing her anxiety as it tried to resurface. “Thank you for being wonderful to me, Garnet. You’ve always been a better friend than I could dream of.”

 

Garnet tried and failed to keep the little dazed look out of her eyes. If she'd had her visor on, it wouldn't have been a problem, but the kiss against her cheek melted her. She longed to return the kiss and many more to Pearl, but the time would come.

 

"Of course, Pearl. You're my best friend. Nothing's changing that."

 

She phased her visor back into place and smiled up at her.

 

"Now go. Jasper's expecting you."

 

At least Garnet didn’t sound worried about the conversation she and Jasper were about to have—that helped boost Pearl’s courage immensely. She nodded, matching Garnet’s smile, and then hurried to the door. She was careful about opening it, murmuring something under her breath about stronger hinges, before skirting the edge of the house. Jasper was indeed waiting for her, and looked anything but pleased as she drew herself up from her half-prone position on the ground, curling up to her knees. Crunches, Pearl noted mentally, and she couldn’t help the flush that tried to creep into her cheeks. Jasper hardly needed to work to tone herself further, but Pearl would be the last to complain about that.

 

That she was facing the window—and likely could have seen Garnet and Pearl through their entire exchange—was no accident, and Pearl sank down at the much larger Gem’s side, tucking her legs to the side. “Hey,” she said softly, “I see you found a way to keep busy.”

 

Jasper didn't pause right away, completing another pair of crunches to round off her rep. She grunted as she finished and then let herself relax. She sat up, brushing her messy hair back with her fingers and letting her eyes roam over Pearl.

 

"Yellow Diamond always taught us not to waste time," she said casually. "Working on my physique is an easy way to combat that."

 

Jasper thought for a second, her brow furrowing.

 

"But, I guess now that I'm forsaking her, I can waste all the time I want."

 

“You can do whatever you like, for the most part,” Pearl insisted. Even sitting, Jasper dwarfed her considerably, and she had to angle her neck to meet the bigger Gem’s gaze. “You don’t have to forsake _everything_ you’ve ever known, just because you’re here.”

 

She chewed the inside of her cheek, then reached to brush some of Jasper’s hair away from her muscular arm.

 

Pearl took a deep breath.

 

“Garnet’s answer wasn’t no,” she said, trying to cut to the chase before her nerve failed her. “But… that doesn’t mean my answer is no, either. To you. Or her.”

 

Jasper narrowed her eyes, concentrating on Pearl's words rather than the dainty hand by her arm.

 

"Hm. I figured as much. It didn't exactly look like a let-down in there," Jasper mumbled. She hadn't been able to hear their conversation, but seeing it had given her a good idea. What had stung the most was how close they were. They fell into place so naturally, and something in Jasper burned when she caught Pearl pressing her lips against Garnet's cheek.

 

"So, what does that mean?" Jasper asked. "If it's not a 'no' to me and it's not a 'no' to her, who's getting a yes?"

 

Pearl wasn’t remotely surprised that Jasper had watched their exchange, even if she was somewhat relieved that she hadn’t heard everything. Still, that meant that she had to explain, and it was so hard to put her feelings into words. She swallowed the dry lump in her throat, closing her eyes briefly.

 

“There are… options,” she started, “Either both of you, or… one. I don’t want to rush to a decision.” Wide blue eyes turned upward again, brows furrowed a little in worry. “Garnet saw at least one potential future where… the three of us were involved. And maybe it’s cowardice that I don’t want to choose between you, but I would like that—but I know it’s not likely, and that you two have a lot to work through. But I won’t see both of you separately. I couldn’t. So… if that future comes to pass, know now that I’m all for it. Otherwise…”

 

Pearl licked her lips, exhaling through her nose in a sigh. “I want to know you better, Jasper. It’s barely been a day. And I don’t know how, in that little time, you could get this far under my skin. But you did. And I don’t want to throw the chance of something wonderful away by taking the safe route, either.”

 

"Hey, you think you're the only one confused? I've gone millennia being able to ignore other Gems, and never feeling..."

 

Jasper searched for words to describe how she felt and found next to none.

 

"This," she settled on, swallowing. "You've gotten under my skin and I'm not going to be able to ignore you. And as much as I hate the thought, I can't avoid that fusion forever either. It's a small planet and an even smaller base you live in. But... I guess I can get over that. To figure things out. To do what you said. 'Know you better'."

 

Jasper looked at Pearl directly where other Gems might have shied away. There was no shyness in Jasper-- only uncertainty.

 

"Do you expect me to be friendly with the fusion?"

 

"Not immediately," Pearl said, and she shook her head, finally laying her hand on Jasper's arm. "I expect you two not to kill one another, but I can't _force_ you to be friends. Or anything else. Trust me, it just breeds resentment."

 

Still, Pearl smiled, glad that the confusion and newness wasn't hers alone. "I just want you to be open and honest, like you have been... Whether it's just with me, or, eventually, the others."

 

"I have no reason to lie to you, Pearl."

 

Well, maybe only to save whatever scrap of dignity she had left. If she was really being honest, she'd have to admit to Pearl that she had no idea how to proceed. Maybe Pearl knew that already.

 

Sharing Pearl's attention with the fusion sounded terrible, but Pearl had suggested it and she was willing to try. At least Jasper knew she had a secure place in Pearl's focus. Judging by the way she was not-so-subtly feeling the firm muscles in her arm, Pearl had lost no interest in her after her talk with Garnet. Still, that did little to guide Jasper in what to do next. She'd been a soldier all her life, and a good one at that. She'd never pursued a Gem before. She'd chased them down and crushed them to dust, sure, but that was leagues different from her intentions with Pearl. With Pearl, everything she wanted seemed to be soft and gentle. The thoughts tempted her to do more crunches, but instead she leaned the slightest bit into Pearl's touch.

 

"What exactly is it that you want to know?"

 

Pearl considered for a moment, then shifted, opting to lean her shoulder against Jasper’s arm, using her for support and warmth. She was still physically drained, and the emotional rollercoaster that they were _still_ on hadn’t exactly helped.

 

That Jasper had no reason to lie to her was a good sign for both of them. And for wherever this was going.

 

“I don’t know yet,” Pearl admitted, folding her hands in her lap and peering up at Jasper. “I don’t know where to begin for something like this. My experience was entirely with Rose, and obviously, that was different.” And some of that had been wonderful, but the end had been disastrous. Pearl shook her head. “I don’t want a repeat of how that ended up. If we… you and me, or you and me and Garnet, if we do end up together, I just don’t want to find out down the line that we’ve been keeping secrets from each other, I guess.”

 

"I told you, I've got nothing to hide."

 

She almost took another shot at Garnet—now there was a Gem or two that _had_ to be hiding something. But now didn't seem like the optimum moment for that kind of comment. Jasper was learning.

 

"Alright, I'll admit it. I was kind of hoping you'd know what to do," Jasper said, feeling more comfortable now that Pearl was settled against her. For once, here was a Gem that wasn't eager to get away. She let out a small chuckle.

 

"I know what you said about pearls, and I get that they aren't all the same. I think I still expected you to have the experience here."

 

Jasper scratched behind her head with the arm not holding her and Pearl up.

 

“I believe you,” Pearl said quickly, wanting there to be no room to doubt that much. She couldn’t help laughing a little at the idea that other pearls would know what to do any more than she did. Leading, especially, would have been drilled out of them. Even her bossier sister—she simply couldn’t imagine.

 

“Well, I do know one thing,” Pearl said at length, and she pushed herself up, using Jasper’s arm for support and pressing a light kiss to her cheek. “I’m beyond happy—and touched—that you’re willing to try any of this. It means a lot.”


	10. Stargazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Pearl and Jasper are interrupted by Garnet, and rivalry rears its ugly head.

Jasper was going to protest and ask what was so funny. She thought Pearl was about to make fun of her for her lack of knowledge. At least she wasn't as clueless as a Gem like Peridot. She knew other Quartzes that had tried to be involved with one another. It was never out in the open, of course; it was mixed in with the kind of talk that got passed around her kind, and she'd caught some things.

 

But then Pearl was lifting herself and pressing her lips against Jasper's cheek. The second she did so, heat blossomed on the soldier's face so intensely that she missed whatever Pearl said next. She just sat there, still and gaping for a long moment. At last, she must have realized what she was doing. Her mouth snapped shut and she looked down at Pearl, trying to think of what to respond with. The first thing out of her mouth was,

 

"Do that again."

 

But that was hardly the way she'd wanted to deliver her appreciation to Pearl. She flustered, wanting to get up and run. Wanting to drop and do a thousand push-ups. Wanting to do something to get the intense confusion out of her system.

 

"I mean-- I want you to. I-- I wasn't ready!" She said, face burning red.

 

For a brief moment, Pearl was worried that she had done the wrong thing—made too bold a move—and she started to open her mouth to apologize, when…

 

_Do that again._

 

Pearl’s heart leapt into her throat, and she was suddenly very aware of the heat that blossomed to her cheeks. Not ready? She hadn’t exactly given her warning, she supposed.

 

When she found her voice, it was strained, but not insincere. “Alright,” she whispered, pushing Jasper’s hair away from her cheek and leaning in for a longer press of lips against skin, close to the darker orange stripe that swept under her cheekbone.

 

Jasper paid close attention this time, as least as much as her suddenly fried mind would allow. She closed her eyes so she could sense every little action. The way Pearl took the time to move her hair away stopped her breath. She didn't need the air anyway, thankfully.

 

This time, Pearl was slow about it. Jasper could feel the way she pursed her lips slightly and leaned into it. And now the heat seemed to bloom everywhere-- cheeks, chest, stomach. But she didn't want to run away now. She wanted to stay right there and savor the moment.

 

So much so, in fact, that when Pearl pulled away, Jasper cupped the smaller Gem's chin in her hand. With the same careful slowness Pearl had shown her, she tilted her face and brought her lips to Pearl's cheek to return the kiss.

 

Pearl’s blush could have lit up the beach, for how intense it was. The tenderness in the action took her breath away more than the kiss itself; Jasper was much bigger and stronger than she could ever hope to be, but was handling her so gently that it stopped her heart for several seconds before it started back up triple time.

 

She froze, then, with conscious effort, relaxed into the action, letting her eyelids flutter shut. It felt nice. Even the hard edge of Jasper’s Gem against her cheek wasn’t unpleasant.

 

When Jasper drew away, Pearl almost whined in protest, just barely keeping down the urge to follow up with a proper, full-mouthed kiss. She smiled dazedly, reaching up to squeeze the edge of Jasper’s hand. “Thank you. Again.”

 

Jasper set some space between their faces again, but didn't really want to pull away.

 

"Do Gems usually thank each other after they...?" She quirked an eyebrow, thankful that her heartbeat was returning to something a little steadier even if the bold heat inside of her would probably never fade.

 

Jasper slipped a hand to Pearl's waist and had every intention of pulling her closer when the door creaked open. Jasper sighed.

 

"Great," she mumbled, when it most definitely was not.

 

Garnet, of course, was the one stepping out onto the porch. She glanced up at the moon and then down at the pair sitting on the wooden deck together.

 

"Full moon tonight," the Fusion said. And if it weren't for Pearl having just given her the best feeling in her life, she might have tried to clock Garnet in the face for interrupting with something so inane.

 

The feeling of Jasper’s hand at her waist set Pearl’s skin tingling comfortably, even if that tingling turned into more color in her pale cheeks. Surely she was blue from Gem to sternum by now! And at such relatively innocent contact, too.

 

Garnet’s intrusion didn’t disappoint her, exactly, but there was some part of her that wondered if her timing had been deliberate. Garnet wasn’t subtle about such things, and commenting on the moon—which both of them had seen countless times over—was very likely meant to be a distraction.

 

Pearl looked up at the moon all the same, settling by Jasper’s side and gesturing for Garnet to join them. “Did you want to stargaze?” she asked, recovering relatively quickly. “It’s very clear tonight.”

 

Garnet nodded, flashing the smallest of smiles and settling in on Pearl's other side so they could enjoy the night sky together.

 

Jasper was thankful that Pearl hadn't immediately jumped away. She'd half expected the more easily embarrassed Gem to follow Garnet wherever she wanted to go. Instead, Pearl had suggested she join them. It was preferable to the other option, at least. Jasper made sure to keep an arm around Pearl, not ready to separate from her yet. But, overall, this wasn't as awful as she'd imagined. Garnet didn't make a move right away to take Pearl, so Jasper let her sit without argument.

 

"Surprised you can see so much from this planet," Jasper said, eyes scanning the stars briefly. She was much more interested in the Gem beside her at the moment, whose bluish color was still visible to her in the dark. As tempting as it was to look at Pearl, Garnet kept her face tilted upward for now. She'd make her move soon enough.

 

Once Garnet was settled at her side, Pearl absently reached for her hand, almost hesitantly curling the tips of her long fingers around Garnet’s pinky and ring fingers, just barely holding on. Her shoulder ached, but Pearl was much too comfortable between Garnet and Jasper to let that bother her too much.

 

“There’s a lot of light pollution from cities,” Pearl admitted, though she smiled lopsidedly up at Jasper. “I think Homeworld’s system is visible, this time of year. But the constellation is pretty faint.”

 

Garnet's smile broadened now, and she made sure to lace her fingers with Pearl's properly, the way that left no room for doubt. In the past they had held hands, but this felt like the very first time. And it felt just right.

 

"Hm. Where is it?" Jasper asked, hardly bothering to really look before she asked. It had been so long since she'd been allowed to explore that the stars and their maps had lost much of her interest over the years. Looking up now, though, she recognized it relatively easily.

 

"Oh. Yeah. That's the Home Galaxy." She let her gaze linger awhile.

 

"It looks a lot closer than a ship ride with Peridot feels," she said.

 

“I tried to build a ship once, to show Steven, even from far off,” Pearl admitted, absently squeezing Garnet’s hand. She ran a thumb over the Fusion’s knuckles, enjoying her warmth as thoroughly as Jasper’s hand around her waist. She’d gotten in more than a little hot water for that little stunt, too. “We came apart in the lower atmosphere, but that’s just as well.” She paused, “I miss the stars, sometimes, though. They’re far enough away from Earth that the light is older than even Homeworld’s records. Some of these stars don’t exist anymore.”

 

"Strange how that works," Jasper replied, letting a comfortable silence fall among the three of them. She peeked over slyly at Garnet and followed her arm with her eyes until she saw her hand woven with Pearl's. Jasper adjusted her fingers against Pearl's waist reflexively, amazed by how her hand fit over so much of the small Gem and how comfortable it was to have there. She brushed her thumb gently along Pearl's shirt.

 

"How's your shoulder, Pearl?" Garnet asked quietly after a moment, tilting her head some to show her she'd shifted her gaze.

 

The feeling of Jasper’s massive hand against her side had Pearl shivering a little, despite the fairly comfortable night air. It felt nice, and Jasper’s thumb running up along her torso tickled. It took conscious effort not to squirm under her ministrations, even if she did lean a little into the touch.

 

“Hm?” Pearl turned her attention to Garnet, and she had to consider for a moment. Reluctantly, she released Garnet’s hand to lift her arm experimentally. She stopped short, elbow about eye-level. “Well… I don’t have full mobility yet,” she said ruefully, lowering her hand again to gather Garnet’s fingers in hers once more. “It’s definitely stiff. But I can move it, and that’s a marked improvement.” She squeezed Garnet’s hand. “Some strength is back. I probably won’t be able to use my second sword for another day or so.”

 

"Good. It's healed up even more than I thought. Though, I'm not surprised you already want to get back to using your swords," Garnet replied with a chuckle.

 

"If it's too sore to hold yourself up, I'm sure Jasper wouldn't mind you leaning against her," she suggested, much to Jasper's shock and secret delight. The orange Gem glanced between the two of them, wondering what Garnet's angle was. But she wasn't going to argue against it either.

 

The suggestion surprised Pearl as well, whose eyes went wide and round, color creeping back into her cheeks. “I suppose I’d just slow the healing process if I strained it deliberately,” Pearl agreed, somehow managing not to trip over her words. She glanced up at Jasper with a smile. “Does that work for you?”

 

Jasper shifted a little to get even more comfortable, opening up the perfect space for Pearl to fit herself in.

 

"Sure," she replied, trying to act casual. She tugged Pearl by the waist some, encouraging her to come in closer. Garnet let go of Pearl's hand so she could move, and she turned her gaze back to the stars.

 

The only down side to this was the loss of Garnet’s hand in hers, but Pearl said nothing, settling into Jasper’s side almost too effortlessly. Garnet’s willingness to let them have a moment was perplexing, but Pearl hoped it was a good sign. Maybe it would help Jasper see that the Fusion was no enemy of hers.

 

Pearl leaned against the bigger Gem, quite happy to bask in both her and Garnet’s presence. It was easy to forget to look up at the sky, to settle a palm over Jasper’s much bigger hand at her waist, and Pearl closed her eyes briefly.

 

“I like it like this,” she murmured, then chuckled lightly, glancing to Garnet. “Amethyst is going to have a fit, isn’t she?”

 

"I thought about that," Garnet said, her grin going lopsided. "Not sure how you want to tell her."

 

There was no question in her voice, or room for argument on that point. They would be telling Amethyst somehow, as she deserved to know. And even if they kept their physical affection to a minimum the purple Gem was bound to find out.

 

The reactions she expected from Amethyst varied greatly.

 

"She's still yet to meet Jasper properly."

 

Jasper had only been half listening, enjoying instead the light weight now settled against her. She would have agreed with Pearl-- she liked this too. But her attention was caught when her name was spoken again.

 

"Why? What's wrong with the amethyst...?" She asked.

 

“She’s a Quartz,” Pearl said, half-teasingly, looking up at Jasper with a lopsided smile. “She’s going to tease us, that’s all. I hope. She just takes things too far, sometimes.” Less so recently. Pearl couldn’t deny that she’d noticed—and been relieved beyond measure—at Amethyst’s growth in the past year. Still…

 

“She likes to rile me up to get a reaction. And she’s _good_ at it,” Pearl added, “She’s not generally malicious or anything, just rude. I think you two will get along… hopefully.” It was hard to tell. Pearl sighed. “I’m sure Peridot will be relieved to see you doing well, at least.”

 

Jasper let out a hearty laugh.

 

"Amethyst and I have something in common already then!" She couldn't help but smile at the Gem in her arms.

 

"It's your fault. You give the best reactions."

 

Jasper took a chance and pinched Pearl lightly. Garnet wasn't happy about that, but she kept her mouth shut. She was giving Jasper the chance to behave herself and, if she went too far, Garnet wouldn't hesitate to cut in like she had earlier. No matter how much Pearl liked Jasper, Garnet would still be looking out for Pearl with this being so new.

 

"I haven't seen Peri in awhile," Jasper continued. "Is she hiding somewhere, scared out of her mind? Probably still has her nose pressed against a screen, too."

 

Pearl yelped at the pinch, but luckily enough, Jasper hadn’t gone after anywhere that was still very sore. Her cheeks colored, but Jasper’s smile had her smiling back easily despite the lingering discomfort. She absently rubbed the spot, briefly blue but rapidly fading back to normal.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she teased back, but shook her head. “She’s been working with us on the drill. No screens. We, well, _Amethyst…_ threw her limb enhancers into the ocean, when we initially captured her. She’s adjusting to Earth very well, I think. She still has some tantrums, but I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s a big change.”

 

Jasper chuckled some more at Pearl's latest reaction, and tucked it away into her memory to use some time later. She gaped slightly when Pearl revealed Peridot was without her technology. She'd been so glued to the stuff, Jasper couldn't even imagine her without it.

 

"You mean she's walking around without her tech?" Another rumble of laughter left Jasper, and she tried not to jostle Pearl much with it. "I like this Amethyst. I would have snapped her stupid screen in half if it hadn't been connected to one of the most powerful aircraft lasers in the fleet."

 

Jasper sobered a little.

 

"Which ended up being destroyed anyway."

 

Jasper side-eyed the fusion, who was partly responsible for that painful mishap.

 

"Still, I can't imagine Peridot without those things. She never took them off."

 

“We didn’t realize they weren’t… well, part of her. Until she poofed fighting us,” Pearl admitted, feeling guilty even if Garnet had saved her from a much more disastrous end. The alabaster Gem sighed, glancing down at Jasper’s hand around her midsection and settling her other hand atop the crest of her knuckles.

 

There were so many things Pearl wanted to ask—about the fleet, about Homeworld’s technology, about ships equipped with lasers, what powered them now—but she knew better. Not only were those kinds of things outside of a soldier’s typical repertoire, but the answers would be beyond treasonous.

 

Not that whatever _this_ was shaping up to be wasn’t also treasonous.

 

“She’s much smaller,” Pearl said at length, “We were all surprised.”

 

"You don't know? She's a technician, so it's standard gear. They don't make peridots any bigger than her, but there are a lot of them."

 

Jasper considered Pearl's lack of knowledge. It went even farther than she'd bothered to notice. She guessed it didn't matter now. She could tell Pearl anything she wanted to know.

 

"Do other Gems use enhancers?" Garnet asked on impulse.

 

Jasper wasn't so readily available to give out information to her.

 

"Why do you care, fusion?" She replied acidly, with special bite to the last word. It didn't phase her much. If Jasper was going to be rude, she saw the near future ending up with Jasper leaving at Pearl's request and Garnet comforting the smaller Gem instead. She'd given Jasper her chance.

 

"Just curious," Garnet replied. And she was. The technology they'd seen from Homeworld had been so new and different. She didn't have any personal interest in it, really, but there was the issue of Homeworld sending more of it. As a leader, Garnet needed to be prepared.

 

Jasper's lips turned downward and she nearly growled.

 

"Yes. They do. But, like fusion, they're not a real show of a Gem's power. They're just cover up. So I don't use them."

 

She was pushing it now. Garnet said nothing.

 

“Jasper, come on…” Pearl said pleadingly, giving her hand a squeeze. Doubt sat uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. Maybe this wouldn’t work. “Does it really have to get ugly? She beat me to asking it.” She swallowed the dryness in her throat, looking away. “We’ve been cut off for so long, we really don’t know anything about what it’s like back… on Homeworld now.”

 

Jasper huffed. She wasn't interested in getting along with the fusion, and she didn't think Garnet's attempts at kindness were anything genuine. But in the interest of pleasing Pearl, she would try to be less... 'ugly'.

 

"Alright, alright. But why do you care? You Crystal Gems fought so hard for this planet I figured you wouldn't want to come back to Homeworld even if you could. Why do you want to hear about it now?"

 

“Wouldn’t you? If you could have… both, that is,” Pearl said haltingly, glancing up at Jasper, then to Garnet. “There were things back home I didn’t agree with, or like, and I’d certainly never be welcome back. Even if we hadn’t rebelled, I’m not exactly an average pearl. Sooner or later, I would’ve fallen out of line. If the Pink Court hadn’t been disbanded, I would have loved to be able to visit… I had some friends, sisters who stayed.” She blinked against the beginnings of tears that were long coming, then shook her head.

 

“I love the Earth, and I’ll fight and die for this planet, and—even without Rose, I’d do it. I’d do anything for Steven, Garnet and Amethyst. And I suppose Peridot, too, now that she’s part of the Crystal Gems. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten the things I loved about Homeworld. I love Gems, and our kind, and I want to see everyone thriving and happy, even if it’s… under a regime I don’t believe in.”

 

She laughed emptily, reaching to dry her tears before they could do more than cling to her long eyelashes. “I’m happy here. But if I could have my way, we’d be at peace, with open travel between both worlds. Maybe even with trade. I just couldn’t abide what we were doing to Earth.”

 

Pearl looked like she was crying again, and Jasper had the feeling it was her fault. She must have appeared a little helpless, too; lost as to what to do with a Pearl on the brink of tears. Whatever face she pulled, she regretted it instantly because it tipped the fusion off. Now she thought it was her responsibility to come in and solve the problem. Well, Jasper didn't have much of an argument. She'd never dealt with this.

 

Garnet started to shift into a new position, indeed noticing that Jasper was unaccustomed to how to be comforting. She came closer, prepared to soothe Pearl to the best of her abilities.

 

"That would be a nice future," she agreed softly. "I think it's exactly what Rose Quartz would have wanted."

 

Garnet had been close to their former leader-- though, not as close as Pearl. She knew how much she truly craved peace between worlds. How much she wished the war didn't need to be fought.

 

"It's hard not to think about where you came from," Garnet continued. "And to miss the things you used to know."

 

Jasper listened to her this time, and watched as she rested a steady hand on Pearl's shoulder.

 

"I'm sure Jasper is still thinking about Homeworld now. Aren't you, Jasper?"

 

"Huh?" Despite her listening, Garnet's question still caught her off guard. She hadn't been expecting to be brought into it.

 

"Of course I am," she replied. She recalled what Pearl had said about being 'open' and tried it.

 

"I've been there for thousands of years. I've served Yellow Diamond loyally. And then this mission, this one seemingly pointless mission changes everything. So yes. I'm thinking about Homeworld. But," Jasper's eyes glanced away before settling back on Pearl. "It looks like there's at least one thing that makes it worth being here."

 

Garnet’s words helped, but it was her presence that was soothing more than anything else. There was some part of her that worried—well, no part of her went a day _without_ some measure of worrying—that Garnet would be unhappy with her longings to do with Homeworld. Garnet was an Earth Gem in almost every sense, just as much as Amethyst was. As Steven was.

 

Pearl sniffed, but managed a smile, reaching up to clasp Garnet’s hand as Jasper spoke. Wide, misty blue eyes turned upward to meet Jasper’s gaze, and her words, the assertion that she could somehow make up for even a fraction of what the soldier had lost, almost had her crying again. She couldn’t possibly be worth it—and neither Jasper nor Garnet would let her say something so self-depreciating. Knowing that made it a little harder to believe the nagging self-doubt that plagued her.

 

So she didn’t, at least, not now. She smiled gratefully, rubbing soft circles along the back of Jasper’s hand. “Thank you. Both of you,” Pearl whispered, leaning comfortably against Jasper without releasing Garnet’s hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” she laughed, but this time there was some humor in it. “I don’t mean to ruin the mood.”

 

"I did that first," Jasper pointed out. Garnet couldn't help but let out a giggle, prompting Jasper to give her a look through squinted eyes.

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing. Just looks like all of Yellow Diamond's Gems are extremely competitive," the fusion replied.

 

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."

 

Jasper didn't seem bothered by the comment at all. Of course she was competitive. It was natural for a Gem to want to be the best under Yellow Diamond's rule.

 

"You didn't ruin anything, Pearl."

 

And to make absolutely sure Pearl believed her, Garnet pressed a kiss to Pearl's cheek, returning the one she'd received earlier.

 

 _That_ caught Jasper's attention. Still staring at Garnet, she dropped her head and gave Pearl's opposite cheek a kiss. Garnet smirked and kissed Pearl again. Which meant Jasper had to do the same thing.

 

Garnet's grin only widened as her point was proven.

 

The attention rapidly had heat blooming across Pearl’s face, and she squeaked, quite effectively trapped between Jasper and Garnet as they alternated between who was kissing her on the cheek. There was another similarity between them, one Pearl had recognized early on but hadn’t really considered in practice; they were _both_ profoundly competitive.

 

This ‘both’ thing might just be too much for her to handle.

 

Pearl’s embarrassment bubbled to the surface in the form of helpless giggling, and she tried vainly to will her flush away, very gingerly pushing at both other Gems without any real strength behind it. “You two!” she managed between giggles, unable to keep a broad smile from her lips. “Stars, what is this?”

 

"It's kissin', Pearl," Garnet drawled, planting one kiss a little closer to her jaw just to see what she'd do next. Jasper had a point; Pearl gave some of the best reactions. Garnet liked hearing the giggles spill from her, knowing she was the one causing them.

 

At this point, she and Jasper hadn't even bothered to pull away from her, and just lingered close by, happy to be there. Pearl's weak protest didn't deter them in the slightest.

 

"Yeah," Jasper agreed with her. "You know what that is."

 

That was true enough; Pearl knew just what they were doing, but the why eluded her. The flush on her cheeks spread downward, disappearing beneath her uniform as they teased her. “Ah…” she gasped, trying to regain her breath, tipping her head back in a vain attempt at—something. If escape was her goal, she was doing terribly at it. The smaller Gem squirmed between them, still trying to stave off her helpless giggles, though they didn’t seem to be winding down anytime soon. Smaller hands gripped Garnet’s and Jasper’s in turn, and she smiled blearily, glancing between them. “You two will get me undone!”

 

Garnet chuckled, cheeks going dark with blush. She pulled away then, keeping her hand firmly wrapped around Pearl's but relenting in her bombardment of kisses. Teasing Pearl a little was fun. Teasing her a lot was... for another time. Elsewhere.

 

But Jasper took Pearl's open neck as an opportunity not to be missed.

 

"I win," she declared before giving Pearl a peck just below where Garnet had left her last one. Somewhere an inch or so below her jaw, claiming what she saw as victory.

 

Pearl hadn’t expected Jasper’s finishing move, and she let out a startled squeal, feeling her pulse race double time at the feeling of her lips along her neck. She ducked her head, face and cheeks burning. It was a wonder her Gem wasn’t glowing in her embarrassment. “I think I might’ve won,” she giggled, clutching Garnet’s hand before managing a cheeky smile up at Jasper. “But I’ll have to repay you each sometime.”

 

A shiver ran through Garnet and it wasn't from the cool late-summer-evening air. Jasper grinned, her confidence practically radiating off of her now.

 

"I'm looking forward to that," she said. "Especially since the first one to get a chance is the winner, right?"

 

"Mm." Garnet cut in, making a sound of disapproval. "Should go to the one who's known her longer," she reasoned playfully.

 

"Or the Gem with the bigger arms."

 

"Or the Gem that knows the most about her."

 

"Quartzes usually settle things by wrestling, not by smart-talk."

 

"Garnet always settles things the Garnet way," the fusion replied.

 

They gave each other hard glares over Pearl's head until, finally, they said in unison,

 

"Pearl will choose."

 

And they left it at that. They didn't push Pearl to make a decision right then, but rather enjoyed the fact she'd made the comment at all. The last thing Garnet wanted was for their senseless fighting to overshadow Pearl, though she worried about the possibility. Pearl wasn't just a prize to be won, after all. Though she was certainly worth fighting for.


	11. Over Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl needs some tea to help her unwind. Garnet has a better plan for the night.

Pearl was silent during their exchange, suddenly aware of her smallness and the weight of the decision she would inevitably have to make. Garnet made better points, though Pearl felt no less drawn to Jasper’s preference of action over reason. Still, right now, it was a complete toss up—Pearl didn’t know when or how to go about deciding. Being showered with affection from the two of them didn’t make it any easier to decide.

 

When Jasper and Garnet came to _their_ shared decision, Pearl could have shrunk into a ball of nothing. Retreating into her Gem from sheer force of will seemed like an easier solution than actually _deciding_.

 

“I don’t know when I’ll have a decision for you,” Pearl admitted quietly, sorely wishing there were someone she could talk to about this—but the closest thing she’d ever known to a confidante was Garnet, and she was intrinsically involved in the problem at hand. Amethyst may have been an option if she were willing to sit down and talk it all out, but there would be so much explaining necessary…

 

Pearl wished Rose were here to guide her, even if she suspected that her advice would have been to pursue both. But then, if Rose were here, she wouldn’t have been in this situation at all.

 

“Do either of you want tea?” she asked abruptly, “I can go make some.”

 

Garnet recognized Pearl's dodging. She'd been so busy bantering with Jasper she'd done exactly the opposite of what she'd come outside to do, and that was push Pearl away. Pearl was deliberately trying to get out from in between the two of them, it seemed, and Garnet wasn't going to try and stop her.

 

"What's tea?" Jasper asked, an obvious question from a Gem who'd never experienced it.

 

Garnet let go of Pearl's hand and stood without giving an answer to either of them. She opened the door to the house and walked inside, but she paused and held it open, waiting for at least one of the other two Gems to join her.

 

“Oh! Ah… it’s a drink,” Pearl explained, using Jasper’s arm for balance as she stood. She managed a smile, motioning for Jasper to join her if she wanted. “It’s hot water, infused with leaves and other plants. It’s mostly aromatic. Much easier to consume than food.” With that, she headed toward the door, pausing by Garnet to see if Jasper would come in too.

 

Jasper took another glance at Homeworld's Galaxy, still visible in the clear sky. Then, when she noticed Pearl was waiting for her, she waved her off.

 

"I'll pass. Mixing some organic trash in water doesn't sound any more interesting than sitting here."

 

She rested her elbows on her thighs and stared up at the stars. She needed some time to think, she decided.

 

“Alright,” Pearl said, masking any disappointment she might have felt with an understanding smile. “You’re welcome to come back in if you get cold, Jasper.”

 

With that said, she glanced up at Garnet, and slipped inside, making a somewhat wobbly beeline toward the kitchenette. If Garnet decided she _did_ want tea, it was easy enough to pick a blend they both liked.

 

Garnet followed behind, slower. She chose a seat at the counter on one of the chairs, having no real intention of drinking anything. She wasn't in the mood. But she suspected it would help soothe Pearl, even just a little.

 

"Want me to boil the water?" Garnet asked, holding up her left hand, Ruby's Gem facing upward. Pearl sometimes enjoyed the nuance of cooking, Garnet realized, but she figured she'd still offer the help.

 

Pearl turned, kettle already in hand, and smiled. This was normal. This was _good._ “If you’d like,” she said easily, moving to fetch water from the faucet. Kitchen work was easy and familiar. “Do you want any? I didn’t hear a yes, but…”

 

"I'm good," Garnet replied, a calm smile on her face. She kept her palm up, propped her elbow on the table, and waited for the kettle to be filled to Pearl's liking.

 

“Alright,” Pearl said, pausing to pour out some of the excess water. The likelihood of her needing more than a cup was slim, and if Garnet and Jasper weren’t going to partake… She suddenly felt selfishness wash over her, but shook her head. Garnet had offered to heat the tea for her, after all. Sighing, she fetched a satchel from her own tea stash, then held the kettle just above Garnet’s hand.

 

For a moment, she chewed the inside of her cheek, then murmured, “Thank you, Garnet. For everything.”

 

Garnet watched the bottom of the kettle, feeling the heat radiate off of her Gem to bring the water to just the right temperature. The quiet inside the house was a welcome comfort. She glanced up at Pearl when the quiet was broken, not that it made any difference to the other Gem when she couldn't see her eyes. But Garnet was able to detect the weary look on her face.

 

"It's no trouble," Garnet said. And she just barely held back from adding 'it's only boiling some water', but she knew darn well what Pearl meant.

 

"But I'm sure you don't mean 'everything'."

 

Pearl supposed there were things about Garnet that she wasn’t thankful for, in retrospect, but none stood out. “I don’t mind you two being competitive, I just don’t know what to say or _do_ when you are,” she admitted softly, “If that’s what you mean. It’s… it’s flattering. If overwhelming. But I’m so thankful for so many other things, Garnet, I can’t imagine feeling otherwise. You’ve always been patient and understanding, and kind, and everything I ever aspired to be.” Pearl drew in a shaky breath. “I don’t understand how I can be conflicted about this at all.”

 

The kettle hissed all too soon, with only a little more than a cup’s worth of water to boil, and Pearl lifted it, setting it down on the range to fetch her cup.

 

Garnet chuckled.

 

"Because love isn't simple, Pearl; whether you've loved someone for a thousand years or a thousand minutes. I'm not offended that you feel you have to make a choice. I'm not offended that the choice isn't easy."

 

Garnet glanced at her open palm, bringing it beside her other to look at the pair of Gems she held with her always.

 

"I may have expected things to go a different way. And I wasn't exactly given much time to see how this could happen. But you can't feel guilty."

 

Garnet folded her hands loosely and rested her elbows on the counter.

 

“I’m afraid it’s a little late for me to not feel guilty,” Pearl murmured, transferring the boiling water into her mug and dropping the tea sachet in. She picked the mug up in both hands, bringing it up to smell the beginnings of boysenberry tea as it steeped. The pale Gem was quiet for a long moment, eyes downcast.

 

“I wish I had your future vision sometimes,” Pearl said at length, smiling somewhat wryly. “I know it can’t be easy for you, but… I spend so much time worrying, thinking about potentials, working myself up—often over nothing!—and it seems like… like it would be nice. Being able to quantify the odds of those notions. Maybe I wouldn’t fret so much over everything.”

 

Or maybe she would. Pearl knew it was a tossup. There was some part of her that had always been relieved that the power didn’t quite carry over to Sardonyx or Alexandrite, or—as far as she was aware—to Sugilite, either.

 

"Sometimes it can be a bit of a burden," Garnet confessed. "I see... a lot of things that I never want to happen. I see really horrible things. And it can be hard to sort through it all at times."

 

Garnet watched as Pearl held the cup close to her lips.

 

"Sometimes I see things I really want to happen and I have to accept that they won't."

 

Garnet paused and bit her tongue gently behind her lips, and then she straightened up in her seat.

 

"You have your own strengths, Pearl."

 

As she’d suspected, the grass was greener on the other side. Pearl looked up over her mug, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to see Garnet’s eyes, and she managed a smile. “I’m trying to find them,” she said, closing her eyes briefly. “Jasper gave me a good pep-talk earlier. I, ah… may have broken down on her about all this, before we came down from the lighthouse,” she admitted, feeling her cheeks darken a little. “It amazes me how—either of you, both of you, _anyone_ sees past all the flaws I see in myself. But I’m trying not to see only my failings.”

 

She paused, took a sip of the still too hot tea, and put the mug aside. “I’m worried… I defined so much of myself based on Rose, Garnet. You saw. I don’t want to put either of you through that. I don’t want either of you to _change_ for me, or to… to mold myself into someone else to make this work. I know that _doesn’t_ work.”

 

"But you recognize it now, Pearl, and you know not to make the same mistake," Garnet said firmly, lifting her chin so that Pearl would know she was looking at her.

 

"We don't expect you to change. We want you just the way you are. And if you feel like this is too much, then don't hesitate to say so. You don't have to do anything just to make the two of us happy. The last thing I want is for you to become whatever you _think_ I'm hoping for."

 

Pearl looked briefly startled by the news, though perhaps it was the easy confidence in Garnet’s voice. “You’ve seen my worst, and you can still say that,” Pearl said softly. It wasn’t a question. She went silent, worrying her bottom lip briefly before pushing away from the counter, tea forgotten in favor of skirting the island to join Garnet. She faltered for only a moment, then hugged the bigger Gem around the shoulders from the side.

 

“I… thank you, Garnet,” she whispered, “I’m sorry I need so much reassuring.”

 

"For every one thing you need reassurance for, you do a hundred things with confidence. Don't be ashamed of that."

 

Garnet did wish Pearl would one day learn to have even more self-assurance, but, if it happened, it would be a change Pearl made on her own and not for anyone else but herself.

 

"You know what you should be ashamed of?" The Fusion asked, turning to face Pearl a little more. "That you're on your feet again."

 

Instead of returning the side hug, she wrapped her arms around Pearl's legs and lifted her with a grin.

 

"I'm putting you on that couch to heal, and you'd better not go for any more 'walks'," she teased.

 

Pearl let out a quiet yelp of surprise as Garnet picked her up, and she clung instinctively, feeling her cheeks heat. “But Gar-net!” Pearl protested weakly, making no attempt to escape her hold. “I’m doing much better, and I’m not tired—“ this was interrupted with a yawn she couldn’t stifle with her arms locked behind Garnet’s neck, and her flush nearly exploded across her face. “Maybe I’m a _bit_ tired, but I’m fine to walk—and the couch is lonely.”

 

Garnet wouldn't listen to any protest, and she carried Pearl right back to the couch she'd been lying on earlier.

 

"No need to walk. You've done enough of that for the day."

 

She deposited her there, albeit gently, sitting her half up on one of the soft cushions and letting her go, resting her hands on either side of Pearl's hips.

 

"Lonely?" Garnet fought the cheeky grin trying to overcome her face and won-- mostly.

 

"Is that your way of askin’ for company?" She said, voice a little lower. She lifted a curious eyebrow that she knew Pearl couldn't see.

 

Pearl hardly considered the few dozen paces she’d gotten to take in—and out—side after returning from the lighthouse enough walking. She felt lazy and restless, never having had a proper pearl’s predilection for standing still for long.

 

Still, though she was flushed, she smiled back. “If you don’t have anywhere more pressing to be,” she said, adding, “I mean—unless you’re needed back at the barn. I’d understand.” It didn’t mean she would be happy about it, but she did understand that there were some priorities that outweighed her clinginess.

 

"Hmm. Forget about the barn," Garnet whispered, daring to lean in and brush her nose affectionately against Pearl's cheek. "I'll head back in the morning. Gotta make sure you don't go anywhere," she joked again.

 

Behind her breastplate, Garnet's heart pounded like crazy. Maybe Pearl only meant she wanted Garnet to sit beside her and talk until Pearl's eyes became too heavy to keep open. But there was the chance she wanted Garnet to curl up with her and cuddle, which Garnet found to be the preferable option (as long as Jasper didn't decide to interrupt them). A little embarrassed, she realized she couldn't count the number of times she'd daydreamed about the two of them cuddling.

 

The affectionate nuzzle made Pearl giggle, and she was acutely aware that she had done more of that in the past twelve hours than perhaps the past five years combined.

 

“May I?” she asked, already leaning into Garnet’s arm, despite the hardness of her shoulder pad against her arm. She was accustomed to them—Garnet had worn light armor for her past two regenerations—even if they got in the way. Still, Pearl slipped her arm around Garnet’s, curling close to her.

 

"You don't even have to ask," Garnet replied smoothly. She couldn't picture an instance where the answer to that question would be 'no'. Not in their futures now.

 

"I can take this off," she suggested. Just the top layer, the part that she imagined couldn't be the most comfortable thing to rest against. If she wanted Pearl to sleep, she'd have to make it appealing.

 

"Don't think we'll be getting any monsters in here tonight. And we haven't had a burglar in... ever," she pointed out.

 

“I don’t think either of those things would get past Jasper outside,” Pearl pointed out, absently tucking a lock of her hair away from her face, even though it fell promptly back into place. She smiled easily, glancing down at Garnet’s light armor, then back up to her mostly-concealed face. “But if you’re comfortable with it, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

 

"You're right," Garnet replied. "You did tell her not to punch any humans she sees, right?"

 

Garnet shifted slightly and willed away her top layer of armor, revealing the continuation of her usual suit. So rarely seen, it looked exactly like her armor but clung to her more comfortably so the two of them could relax. Relaxing itself felt almost laughable in the midst of all the chaos happening. But Garnet wasn't going to let that stop her from leaning back and just enjoying the moment.

 

"I think she can distinguish between humans and threats... I hope," Pearl murmured, enjoying the wash of light magic as Garnet phased out of her armor. She leaned back with her best friend, tucking her face against her exposed shoulder with a smile. "Is this alright?"

 

"It's better than alright," Garnet assured her, closing her eyes and holding Pearl close against her. She wasn't going to let Pearl think for a second that she didn't want this.

 

Pearl made a quiet noise of delight, deep in her throat, easily making herself comfortable against Garnet’s side. Exhaustion pulled at her, but she wasn’t about to give this up for something as unnecessary as sleeping. She opted to slip her arms around Garnet’s narrow waist, inching marginally closer.

 

“I wish she wouldn’t snipe at you,” Pearl said softly, at length. “I… well, I don’t perfectly understand. But I’m sure some of it is because of what happened with Malachite. That doesn’t make it acceptable, but…” She sighed. “I wish I could help you get along. Whether it ends in that future you saw or not. If I’m going to be with one of you, I don’t want to lose the other’s friendship.”

 

"Before Malachite, Jasper was against fusion. She didn't understand it-- couldn't. I think it would have been easier back then to show her that she was wrong."

 

Behind her visor, Garnet's third eye opened and turned to the ceiling. She thought about what Jasper must have gone through. She couldn't imagine the stress, the pain, and the complete confusion a fusion like that would cause a Gem. It was nothing like the loving experience she embodied every day of her life.

 

"Now she thinks she knows what it is. Her opinion of it is even worse than before. It'll take a lot of convincing for her to come around and to see that being Malachite isn't what fusion is like all the time."

 

Garnet sighed softly, taking a deep breath and inhaling the scent of Pearl's hair as she let all of her eyes close again.

 

"The things she says bother me. But I know she doesn't know what it's really like. She has no idea."

 

“She doesn’t,” Pearl agreed in a sigh, snuggling into Garnet’s warm shoulder. It felt doubly nice to have her face pressed against barred skin, especially with how rarely Garnet’s shoulders were exposed. “We talked a little about it. I told her none of us would push her to try Fusion again if she didn’t want to. But I don’t think she _could_ understand without firsthand experience… I know I didn’t.”

 

Millennia ago, Fusion had been nothing more than a tactic Homeworld had the Gempower to employ. Strength their side couldn’t achieve. It took speed and accuracy to make up for the numbers Rose’s renegade army couldn’t achieve.

 

And then Garnet had come into existence, pitched everything Pearl knew about Fusion, about love, about _power_ on end. Pearl didn’t believe for a moment that she could have understood—really understood—until the first time she’d experienced it herself, and that had been with Garnet. Sardonyx had always been a wonderful experience—elegant and wild and loving—and the first time was no exception.

 

Pearl wondered, not for the last time, how she could have been so blind to Garnet’s feelings.

 

_Years._

She sighed, blinking heavy eyelids and pressing closer, shifting so that she could rest her thigh against Garnet’s as well, even if her legs were folded under her where she sat. “I’d show her, if she wanted,” Pearl said, “I’m sure she’d say no, of course. At least right now, so soon after…”

 

Garnet wasn't surprised to hear that Pearl would readily fuse with Jasper. She only hoped it would be a positive experience when it happened. Pearl had grown so much recently, so it wasn't unfathomable that she'd be able to show Jasper what fusion truly was.

 

Though Garnet couldn't help but think of Sardonyx... And those feelings were still a bit too fresh. Although she loved Pearl, it didn't excuse her abuse of something so personal to Garnet. They'd been able to move on, thankfully. It was behind them now, where Garnet expected it to stay.

 

"It's not something you can explain with words," Garnet agreed. She'd always had trouble describing it, stringing together different adjectives in an attempt to explain. Amazing and inspiring and liberating and extraordinary.

 

Malachite must have been none of those things.

 

"And Jasper isn't the best listener, either," she pointed out, having missed that side of the Quartz if it existed at all.

 

"Give it time." That seemed to be her answer for everything recently, and her final word on the subject for the moment unless pressed. Mainly because she didn't need to look at Pearl to know she was tired. She lifted a hand to gently stroke Pearl's hair back.

 

Pearl nodded slowly in agreement. The experience of Fusion—fusing with other Gems, with Gems she cared about—was unlike anything she’d ever been able to identify. The feeling varied from Gem to Gem, combination to combination. Alexandrite wasn’t like being Opal and Sardonyx at the same time, but then, she imagined that being Alexandrite was also unlike being Sugilite.

 

“She listens well when she wants to. Sort of like Amethyst, but with more listening,” she said quietly, leaning heavily into Garnet’s fingers in her hair with a blissful sigh. It was hard to think about much else this close to Garnet.

 

“Feels nice…” Pearl’s voice had dropped to a whisper, and she let her eyes close briefly. It took an inordinate amount of effort to open them again, and when she did, she sighed again. “Garnet, you’re wonderful. I hope you know I’ve always thought so.”

 

Garnet smiled, not pausing the movement of her hand as she replied.

 

"I used to think you were terrifying," she said with a smile. "And then I actually met you. You were still terrifying when you faced other Gems, but I found out so much more. How brave you are. How brilliant you are. How cute," she let her hand fall and frame the side of Pearl's face.

 

"You're tired now. Wouldn't you rather lie down?"

 

Pearl giggled a little at the idea, feeling her cheeks heat at the praise. Garnet hadn’t proven herself intimidating until after she’d gotten past her gangly newness, and by then, Pearl had already found herself fascinated by the Fusion. She didn’t know how to say so, exactly, without giving away everything—five thousand years of dragonflies in her stomach that she could scarcely ignore was almost embarrassing to look back on. Rose’s presence wasn’t entirely unrelated to her lack of action, but…

 

“I want you,” Pearl murmured sleepily, and her words caught up to her just enough, moments later, for her cheeks to flush. “Er… I… that is…! I don’t… want to without you. There, that. Yes.”

 

Garnet so rarely blushed. Then again, she hardly ever had anything to blush about.

 

Even sleepily, those three words in that particular order coming out of Pearl's mouth set her cheeks ablaze. Not literally-- thank the stars and the intrinsic ability Garnet had to keep that from happening. Still, she was sure the deep color was visible. It was the only sign she'd heard Pearl's slip of the tongue, and she wanted to keep it that way.

 

"Alright," Garnet said, voice even and as cool as usual. She'd had a 50/50 chance of it cracking and was relieved it'd worked out for her.

 

"Then we'll both lie down."

 

Pearl’s embarrassment saved Garnet face more than anything; the smaller Gem missed her blush in the darkened living room, preoccupied with worrying over her own slip of the tongue and trying to stare a hole into the floor to crawl into. Did that count as making her choice? _Was_ that her choice?

 

How could she still be unsure?

 

When Garnet spoke normally, Pearl let out a stale puff of air through her nose, peeking up at the Fusion through her bangs. Garnet looked only mildly flustered, if that. It may have been a trick of the light, with the skylight above letting moonlight in behind her.

 

“You’re okay with it?” she asked hopefully, “I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable at all, Garnet, we don’t… we don’t have to.”

 

"Why would it make me uncomfortable?" Garnet asked. She really didn't want an answer. She wasn't worried about being uncomfortable in the slightest. She did worry about Pearl managing to get any sleep when her heartbeat was going off like a loud drum.

 

It was just cuddling, her rational mind argued. Just lying down with the Gem she'd harbored a crush on for years. No need to be this worked up about it. She kept all of that inside and managed to come off quite smooth outwardly.

 

"I want to," she promised. The only trick was finding the best way to fit the two of them on this one couch. Garnet looked to her right, to the rest of the open space available. Well, she normally liked to rest face down but this would be an even better alternative. She shifted until she was lying on her side, up against the back of the couch as much as possible. She gave the small space in front of her a pat with her hand and glanced up at Pearl.

 

Despite her embarrassment, Pearl couldn’t help smiling blearily at the invitation. Tired or not, this was the kind of thing she’d long dreamed of—the sort of silly domestic scenario she had longed for over the eons without having any means to justify it. She adjusted her position, moving to lay down on her right side and scooting back against Garnet to avoid tumbling over the edge of the couch.

 

“Like this?” she asked, pillowing her head on one folded arm. Pearl managed a smile, adding; “You may have to hold me in place. With my luck I’ll roll on the floor.” They both knew that wasn’t likely.

 

Garnet let her hand rest against Pearl's stomach. If she decided to become suddenly active in her sleep, there'd be no chance of her having a rude awakening by meeting the floor.

 

"I won't let you fall," she confirmed. "Though I think you had this planned all along. Now you know I'll be staying here until you wake up." Not that that was a complaint. Being trapped in hours of cuddling by Pearl was the stuff of her fantasies. She would have been more than happy to stay there well past sunrise.

 

“You’re the one who can guess what I’ll do before I actually do it,” Pearl teased, snuggling comfortably into her. Her own heart rate spiked, caught in her throat, but she cautiously folded her left arm over Garnet’s, very gently curling her fingertips between the bigger Gem’s digits.

 

She was quiet for a moment, idly brushing her thumb over Garnet’s. “I like this,” she murmured, “Being surrounded by you. It’s hard to believe we had a near miss today, even if I’m still feeling it.”

 

Garnet felt something unpleasant churn in her stomach at the reminder. The whole reason they were resting here like this was because Pearl's shoulder had been ruined and she was still feeling the lasting effects of her nasty encounter with the Jelly.

 

"I hate putting you in danger," Garnet whispered, as if saying it quietly would still hide the insecurity. "Even knowing you can handle yourself, just like you did today, doesn't make it any easier. You got seriously hurt. I can't let that happen to you again."

 

“It was a necessary risk, Garnet—Amethyst can’t fight Jellies like we do, and we certainly couldn’t bring Steven on a mission like that. I think you made the best call you could,” Pearl murmured, giving Garnet’s hand a soft squeeze. It took considerable effort to draw her hand up to her face, to press a light kiss to her knuckles. “I’ve never been delusional enough to think you _enjoyed_ putting any of us in danger. It wasn’t your fault.”

 

"You know, even with seeing all these possibilities, it can be hard for me to know what to do," she replied seriously.

 

She kissed Pearl's hair, something she was certain she wanted to do.

 

"Thank you, Pearl. It really helps to hear you say that. You know more than anyone else now that I worry about all of you, and how my choices affect us. I just want to do the best possible job."

 

“You do,” Pearl assured her without hesitation, turning a little to look back up at Garnet, mustering up a smile despite the exhaustion creeping in on her. She lifted her head to free up her right arm, rolling mostly onto her back so that she could reach up and touch Garnet’s cheek, just below her visor. “Garnet, I’ve never doubted you as a leader, and you’ve never given me reason to. We’d all be lost without you. You’re doing wonderfully.”

 

"So are you. Every day. I'd be lost without all of you by my side."

 

Garnet was overwhelmed with the urge to press her lips against Pearl's. But she refrained, arguing that it was in her best interest to show some self-control. She gave her a quick peck on the cheek instead, smiling down at her.

 

"And since you approve of my choices; as your leader I'm telling you to get some sleep now."

 

Pearl’s breath hitched a little at the kiss, and the fresh heat was back in her cheeks again. Briefly, she considered meeting Garnet’s lips with her own, as payback for the teasing earlier—but _that_ certainly was making her decision. She’d have to restrain herself.

 

Stars above, she’d never thought she would have to exercise this sort of self-control.

 

Garnet’s words drew her out of her thoughts, and she cheekily stuck her tongue out at the Fusion—the sort of silly, inappropriate response that she would never allow Amethyst or Steven to see, but that Garnet had surely seen before, if rarely—before reluctantly drawing her hand back and rolling onto her side.

 

“That’s an abuse of power,” Pearl teased, but she did close her eyes, gathering Garnet’s hand in hers again. She _was_ tired enough to obey, even if she would have vastly preferred staying up until dawn. “I miss being alone with you. It’s nice.”

 

"It has been awhile," Garnet agreed, curling comfortably against her best friend. She'd rather have Pearl awake too. She couldn't remember the last time they'd been able to talk and joke like this-- just the two of them together.

 

"I hope we can do this again soon," she whispered, voice full of optimism. She'd never promised that she wouldn't flirt when Jasper wasn't around.

 

With Garnet’s steady breathing to lull her to sleep, easily matched as Pearl let her mind wind down, Pearl couldn’t help wondering at how lucky she was, even just getting this. It was the kind of thing that she’d always wanted. Garnet was warm and soft and comfortable, and Pearl hummed in agreement. “Me too,” Pearl mumbled, easily succumbing to her body’s desire to shut down.

 

There was nowhere on Earth safer than being wrapped in Garnet’s arms, and even with her heart pounding much more rapidly than normal, Pearl could feel a comfortable wash of darkness coming in on her.

 

Soon enough, her grip on Garnet’s hand against her torso went slack, signaling that Pearl had fallen asleep.

 

Garnet gave a small sigh of relief, glad to know Pearl was comfortable enough to get proper sleep. She needed her to be healed as fast as possible, especially if her suspicions about the days to come held any truth. She took Pearl's hand and let her own eyes close. But she couldn't sleep. There was too much on her mind and too much going on around her for her to let herself lose herself completely. She was just as content to listen to Pearl's soft breathing and be there for her in case anything happened. Too soon she knew she'd have to get up and leave Pearl behind again. So, habitually, she looked forward to the near future.

 

Pearl's exhaustion did not manifest as projected dreams this time, though her Gem glowed periodically throughout the night. She slept clear through morning, very comfortably nestled in Garnet's hold.

 

Garnet was thankful that Pearl didn't dream-- or at least that she didn't share her dream with the room. Whereas Amethyst found it amusing to watch what went on in Pearl's head, Garnet found it a little uncomfortable. It seemed much too intrusive for her.

 

The time passed surprisingly quickly for Garnet, whose dreams were not caused by sleep but rather by future vision. She was drawn away from the images from time to time to live in the moment and appreciate the present. With Pearl in her arms, that wasn't difficult at all.

 

But eventually, the sun was rising once again. And it was time for Garnet to keep her promise. She attempted to shift Pearl into her arms so she could lift her, not sure if Pearl would wake or not.

 


	12. On the Mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet leaves first thing in the morning as promised. Pearl and Jasper decide to go to the barn once the door is fixed.

By the time the sun was starting to rise, Pearl’s skin looked positively pristine—sleep really did wonders for healing, and it was a wonder they hadn’t considered it sooner. Perhaps it was telling of how deeply she slept that all visible proof of the previous day’s battle was gone in only a few hours. Perhaps she slept so deeply because Garnet was there holding her.

 

Either way, she barely stirred when the Fusion tried to move her, but her left shoulder—stiff, but otherwise entirely healed—slipped, and the feeling of her arm dropping startled her awake.

 

“H-huh? Garn’…” wide blue eyes blinked owlishly, not fully awake, and the day prior was slow to catch up to her. Pearl smiled hazily. “I must be dreaming…”

 

"That's a line if I ever heard one," Garnet replied, amused by Pearl's sleepy and possibly accidental flirting.

 

"Sorry to wake you. I'm only trying to get up to head back to the barn," she explained, not very thrilled about having to leave at all. "You're welcome to go back to sleep. Although... You're about to have company."

 

And sure enough a clunky boot met with the bottommost step outside just as Garnet finished speaking. Jasper was returning with the sun.

 

Pearl nodded absently, and a moment later realized what Garnet meant. “Huh? Oh!” Company in any form couldn’t afford to see her like this—and the sound of Jasper’s footsteps on the stairs helped galvanize her into proper wakefulness. “Company?” Pearl squeaked out, hurriedly detangling herself from Garnet’s hold, finding the floor _en pointe._ She paused for a beat, then, on a whim, leaned up to plant a soft kiss on her best friend’s cheek.

 

“That’s for last night,” she teased, mustering a smile. “Will you let me know how things are at the barn later…? I know you wouldn’t be here if there were a problem, but I still… it’s Steven, and I worry.”

 

Garnet was all too happy to be on the receiving end of the teasing this time. She didn't think she'd mind more of that later. For now, she didn't return the affection, her smile fading into her more official look. She gave Pearl a nod.

 

"Of course. I'll keep you informed."

 

It was then that Jasper reached the landing and pushed the door out of the way, the poor screen just barely hanging on to the frame. She paid no mind to that, however. She pushed her hair back from her face with her fingers, her bangs slightly damp. Her sharp eyes observed the pair of them before she motioned to the outside.

 

"The stars started fading," she said, hoping Garnet wouldn't be staying around now that morning had broken.

 

Jasper crossed her arms about her chest. It was obvious she'd spent most of the night working her long unused muscles, and in fact she'd just come back from a run.

 

Relief was visible across Pearl’s face at Garnet’s assurance that she would be kept in the loop, and she nodded in kind, turning as the creak of the door heralded Jasper’s arrival.

 

The Quartz soldier looked a mess, slightly sweaty and with her hair even more wild than it normally was. Pearl’s wide eyes went even wider at the sight of her; she’d clearly been exercising, possibly training, and that brought to mind several mental images that were hard to ignore.

 

“Oh! Well, it _is_ summer… the nights are shorter this season,” Pearl managed to say, keeping her voice from wavering too terribly. Despite herself, Pearl felt her cheeks heating at Jasper’s disheveled appearance. The smaller Gem knew her gaze would betray her if she let it linger too long, and she carefully rolled her shoulders.

 

“Would you look at that! I’m better,” Pearl said cheerily, frowning a little at the stiffness in her left shoulder. Still, she had her range of motion back, and that was what truly mattered. She couldn’t help glancing from Garnet, to Jasper again, and swallowed hard. “Do you need a towel or anything, Jasper?”

 

"Sure, Pearl," Jasper replied, stealing the attention right away. She stepped into the room more, looking to take up her share of space as Garnet frowned at her. The fusion could tell she was doing this somewhat deliberately to catch Pearl's interest. Now who was using a 'cheap tactic'? But Garnet didn't have the time to call her out on it, nor did she want any part in upsetting Pearl. She headed for the warp pad.

 

"And you do look better," Jasper continued, looking Pearl over thoughtfully. "Much better. Guess you figured out the secret to recovery."

 

“Apparently, sleeping is effective for both Gems and humans,” Pearl said, rubbing her shoulder absently. The flush on her cheeks was impossible to hide. “I’ll go find something for you. Ah… wet, or dry?”

 

Garnet’s departure didn’t go unnoticed, and the linen in the bathroom was likely clean, which meant following Garnet part way to the warp pad. “Be safe, Garnet!” she smiled, waving as she made her way to Steven’s bathroom, where at least one hamper guaranteed clean laundry, even if it had been sitting for some time.

 

Garnet folded her arms on the warp, mirroring Jasper at the other end of the room. The pair exchanged not-so-friendly glances and then the warp sounded. In an instant, Garnet was gone.

 

Jasper relaxed just slightly, following Pearl's path to meet her at the bathroom door as she spoke.

 

"Dry."

 

She easily filled the doorway with her size and height. She poked her head into the new room and peered around it, gaze eventually settling back on Pearl.

 

Jasper’s size was even more noticeable inside than out, and Pearl flipped the wicker basket lid up on the rightmost hamper to find her a towel, trying not to cast too many cursory glances her way. A fluffy striped towel was already folded neatly at the top of the piled laundry, and Pearl pulled it out, turning to offer it to her companion. “Here you are.”

 

"Thanks."

 

Jasper briefly wiped her face. When she finished, she started on her hands and stepped aside to allow Pearl by.

 

"So, Pearl, is that all you did while I was out? Stay stationary on the couch?"

 

She lifted one of her arms, running the towel over her bicep.

 

Pearl slipped past her, glad not to be cornered in the bathroom, although she lingered in the hall. It was hard not to feel small and trapped in the smallest room in the house, especially when Jasper filled the entire doorway. The smaller Gem looked up at her, briefly perplexed by the question.

 

“Well… Garnet was determined to make sure I _didn’t_ get up,” Pearl admitted, and there was that telltale flush again, even if nothing about their positions had been salacious. “I did have some tea, and we talked a bit. Otherwise, we slept.” She paused. “Well… I slept. Garnet may not have.”

 

Jasper nodded and tossed the towel over her shoulder, starting to pace slowly and somewhat officially across the room.

 

"Good. And today's mission is? I'd also like a status report on Peridot. Or to check in on her myself. And..." She paused, looking at Pearl seriously.

 

"The Rose Quartz heir. I spent a good deal of time thinking while I worked last night, Pearl. If I'm going to be stuck on this planet I can't let myself slow down completely."

 

“Oh! Of course… Honestly, Garnet is the better Gem to ask. I don’t think she has anything for me today,” Pearl admitted awkwardly, watching as Jasper began to pace. Unlike Amethyst, _this_ Quartz never slowed down. Pearl supposed it made sense; Jasper had the muscle and age to show for it. Unfortunately, Pearl was just as much in the dark on these subjects as Jasper at the moment. She hummed, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “I… suppose I could call Steven, since he’s the only one with a communication device… Provided Lapis isn’t a problem, we could go to the barn. Steven may be able to take her somewhere while we see Peridot.”

 

"A communication device? At least the humans have advanced that far." She took a pause by the counter, as if stopping her walking would help her think.

 

"Yes. I'd like to scout out this barn area. See what progress is being made there."

 

She continued, back to the window where she halted again.

 

"What is _that_?"

 

Outside, some sort of dingy looking transportation device rolled through the sand and stalled. A hatch on the side opened to allow a portly human to escape.

 

"A human is approaching your base," she informed Pearl, tossing the towel to the side and not caring where it landed.

 

Truth be told, Pearl wanted to see what she had missed at the barn as well, though she privately hoped that Garnet wouldn’t mind their intrusion. She had only just escaped Jasper’s presence—Pearl didn’t doubt that the Fusion wanted space from her—and their return would probably result in another altercation, unless Peridot could keep Jasper’s attention.

 

Pearl had followed Jasper, making her way toward the wall-mounted phone, only to stop with her hand already extended. “Huh? We don’t normally get…” Pearl started, moving to follow Jasper’s line of sight. Sure enough, Greg’s van was in plain sight, and the Crystal Gem sighed. “Oh. It’s all right—it’s Steven’s father. His name is Greg. He’s harmless.”

 

Not that humans posed any threat to Gems, really. With the possible exception of some of the more unsavory weapons they’d developed in recent centuries, they were embarrassingly weak as a species.

 

Jasper frowned.

 

"What does he want? Just send him away. We have more important things to deal with than humans."

 

She didn't understand the significance of the word 'father', and dismissed Greg as any other unimportant human. She focused once more on her plan of attack for the day, leaving the window and starting a cyclical path that included both the house and the warp pad's surroundings.

 

Greg trudged up the stairs and opened the door, giving the broken hinge a glance before his eyes met Pearl.

 

"Oh! Hey Pearl. I didn't expect to see you. I figured you'd be at the barn with... the... others..."

 

Greg caught sight of the massive Gem in the background and lifted an eyebrow.

 

"Uhh...? Who's this?"

 

“Er…”

 

Pearl wasn’t entirely sure how to juggle this kind of social situation, and wished someone else—anyone else—were here with her. She glanced from Jasper, to Greg, and sighed faintly. This was bound to be the beginning of an extensive headache.

 

“This is Jasper. I believe Steven mentioned her to you after the, ah… hand ship incident,” Pearl explained awkwardly, “She’s staying with us for the foreseeable future. We were going to go back to the barn shortly—I need to call Steven and see about something first.”

 

She paused, motioning for Greg to come inside, almost for Jasper’s benefit more than the hapless human’s. “Greg, did you need anything? Oh! And do you have your toolbox? I need to fix the door hinges. Again.”

 

"Well, sure, it's in the back of the van. We can go get it. And I'm just here to pick up a few things. Steven gave me a call before I left the car wash; he thinks he'll be there a while longer. I can give you a ride up there, if you want."

 

It took Greg those few moments to process the name again.

 

Jasper...

 

The hand ship...

 

Oh geeze.

 

"Hang on a second. That's the Gem who kidnapped my son?!" Greg blanched.

 

“With Peridot, yes,” Pearl said quickly, raising her hands somewhat placatingly. She still wasn’t comfortable with offering _Greg_ of all people physical reassurance, but she could empathize with the look of panic on his face. She remembered her own all too clearly when Jasper had taken Steven.

 

It was hard to reconcile that feeling with the very different emotions she was harboring toward the Quartz soldier now.

 

“We’ve since come to a truce. Ah… Lapis Lazuli is at the barn, too, if Steven didn’t warn you,” Pearl said, recalling the last time Greg had encountered _that_ Gem as well. She winced a little at the memory. It was a miracle she’d been able to fix the van at all, to say nothing of Greg or the children coming back mostly intact. She turned, glancing back at Jasper and tracking her briefly. “Jasper, it’ll be just a few moments. We’re all going to the same place.”

 

Greg was visibly shaken by the news. About Peridot, Steven was full of praise. And beside the time they'd first met, the green Gem seemed alright.

 

Steven had already taken some measures to explain that Lapis Lazuli was less of a threat than she seemed. He vouched for her even after she'd fought so fiercely against them all. He claimed she was good, and just wasn't sure how to go about things. That Greg could understand.

 

But Steven had barely any words on Jasper. That couldn't be a good sign. He was nervous to say the least as the massive Gem glanced between he and Pearl. Finally, she gave a nod.

 

"Alright. Do what you have to do so we can leave."

 

Greg was no less shocked than he had been a moment ago.

 

"And she's listening to you?" He asked, voice a pitch higher than it should have been.

 

“It’s complicated,” Pearl said quickly, worrying her bottom lip. The last person she needed to explain _how_ complicated things had become in the past twenty-four hours to was Greg—

 

Actually…

“Here, Greg, if you could fix the door for me, I’ll give Steven a call. I don’t think Jasper would…” fit came to mind, but she wasn’t going to go there. Garnet had to lean significantly to sit in the back seat of the van already, and Jasper was quite a bit taller than her. “…Be comfortable, riding in the van. But she could follow us, and I can explain everything on the way.”

 

Pearl paused, glancing again to Jasper. “Would you be up for another run? Once we fix the door and get Steven’s things, that is.”

 

"Believe me, Pearl, I can handle another run," Jasper assured her.

 

Greg didn't doubt it. Jasper looked capable of lifting the entire van and running it up to the barn to save him on fuel. But he would never suggest it. Instead, he nodded to Pearl.

 

"Sure. It won't take long. You and I have fixed this thing so many times I've lost count," he said humorously, trying to lighten the rather uncomfortable mood. "I'll be right back with the tools," he added quickly, slipping back out the broken door and hurrying for the van.

 

Pearl nodded almost absently to Greg, glad for the reprieve, though she knew it wouldn’t be for long. She smiled automatically—because smiling was easy, and appropriate, qualified as acknowledgment at Greg’s attempt at humor—and then turned to Jasper. “I believe you,” she said, “I, however, am not going to push my luck… yet. Maybe on the return trip.” She didn’t doubt that Jasper would win in a race, but jogging from Beach City to the barn only took so long. It wasn’t entirely a waste of energy, even if warping—and driving—were quicker.

 

She slipped away to the phone then, pausing to dial Steven’s mobile. It rang twice, and when Steven answered something sounded… off. Windy.

 

“Steven?” Pearl called into the receiver, earning a laugh from the other end.

 

“Pearl! Is everything okay?”

 

“I was about to ask the same,” Pearl said fondly, relieved that the boy sounded nothing if not chipper. “We’re going to come up to the barn—Greg stopped by—I ah… wanted to make sure things were…” she faltered, “Well, you know. With Lapis. Garnet didn’t really tell me.”

 

Steven’s voice on the other end was scarcely audible above the wind, but he was all too happy to explain that he and Lapis were flying somewhere— _Don’t worry, Pearl, she’ll bring me back tonight!_ —and that he figured it was easier to give everyone space. Pearl couldn’t help frowning a little at the idea, but from the sound of things, she was already too late to stop Steven from going on an impromptu ‘field trip’ with Lapis.

 

“I’ll let Greg know,” Pearl said, pursing her lips. “Be _safe_ Steven.”

 

“I will! See you tonight!”

 

Steven hung up first, and Pearl put the phone down with a distinct frown on her lips. That hadn’t gone as expected. She wondered how Garnet felt about it all—but then, Garnet must have allowed it. She sighed. “Well, it looks like Steven and Lapis won’t be back until later tonight.”

 

"Good. The brat has probably realized by now that she's got nowhere to run. So she better hide while she can."

 

Jasper rolled her knuckles in her palm, her train of thought broken by Greg noisily dropping the box of tools by the door.

 

"Don't worry, I'll have this thing fixed in a jiff," he said in the following silence as he got to his knees.

 

Jasper huffed and said nothing more.

 

Greg positioned a new screw into the hinge and started twisting it.

 

"Did you get a hold of Steven, Pearl?" he asked.

 

It wouldn’t really qualify as hiding if Lapis were going to bring Steven back later, Pearl thought, but she was smart enough not to say so. Greg’s timely return helped—sort of. She diverted her attention to the man instead, crouching to inspect his work.

 

He wasn’t wrong, though; they _had_ done this countless times, and Greg’s handiness with very primitive tools wasn’t something Pearl really needed to supervise.

 

“Oh! Yes. I’m afraid he won’t be there when we arrive. He’s… out with Lapis,” Pearl said somewhat stiffly. She didn’t like the idea, but there was nothing she could do about it. “What were you supposed to pick up? I can get it.”

 

"He wants another blanket, a pillow, a pair of socks, and some batteries. I've already got the batteries in the van, so if you could just collect the rest..."

 

Greg gripped the door and gave it an experimental push before starting to secure it with another screw.

 

"I think he's getting tired of sleeping out there. Maybe getting out of the barn for a little bit isn't such a bad idea," Greg said, mostly reasoning with himself. He knew Steven was growing up and would be able to handle himself in situations that Greg would be completely lost in. It didn't change the fact that he worried about his son and wanted him to be as safe as he was happy.

 

"Any idea when this drill business is going to be finished?" Greg questioned, curiosity getting the best of him.

 

“Last I checked, Peridot was almost finished with the cockpit. We’ll run tests before we proceed further,” Pearl said offhandedly, hurrying to get Steven’s things from upstairs. Socks, bedding, underwear, and a spare shirt were easily located, and Pearl stuffed them into the boy’s hotdog duffel bag, tucking the pillow under her arm. She returned to the living room, privately relieved that Greg hadn’t picked yesterday to come by, given how horrible her condition had been then.

 

Today, however, she did feel much better. Even if the air was tense, it was a manageable sort of tension, much preferable to Jasper and Garnet sniping at each other.

 

Pearl passed Greg, depositing Steven’s things on the counter before moving to clean up last night’s forgotten tea. “I can’t imagine it’ll take more than a week. Then it’s just a matter of waiting for the right time to use it.”

 

"And... when is the right time?" Greg asked, testing the door again. Satisfied this time, he put his screwdriver and the spares away and shut the box before getting to his feet. He knew so little about the plan, which was as he and the Gems preferred. He knew they didn't want him getting in the way, and he was fine with keeping out of it. But from what he knew, this was a pretty serious operation. And Steven was his main concern in all of it.

 

Jasper took to following Pearl as she and Greg spoke, impatience starting to get the best of her. It was a trait of hers that she doubted would ever be controlled.

 

Pearl paused to consider. Instinct had her looking up for guidance, to where Garnet normally would have been—and instead, she looked further up at Jasper. Blue eyes met gold and she flushed; then shook her head, glancing back at Greg again. Jasper’s antsy way of shadowing her didn’t go unnoticed.

 

“You’ll have better luck asking Garnet. My job is helping to build it,” she said, frowning a little. She wished for a better response, knowing that she couldn’t really give one even if she’d had it.

 

"Well, Garnet does have a trick for knowing things before everyone else," Greg reasoned, not wanting Pearl to feel bad for being unsure of the answer. He didn't know much, but he was sure the last thing Pearl needed was more uncertainty. He collected the hotdog duffle bag along with the toolbox and nodded towards the door.

 

"I'll go toss these in the van, and then I think we're set."

 

"Excellent," Jasper approved, bringing a hand down onto Pearl's shoulder. She'd caught her glancing upwards, and felt more comfortable at her side. "Just lead the way, Pearl. I'll have no trouble keeping up."

 

Jasper’s heavy hand on her shoulder almost made Pearl jump—almost. She smiled a little, reaching up reflexively to give Jasper’s hand a squeeze. “Well, once we’ve cleared the city limits, I’ll see if Greg can drive fast enough to make it worth your effort,” she said, absently moving to follow Greg outside.

 

It didn’t take a moment’s thought for Pearl to switch her grip on Jasper’s hand as they reached the stairs, pulling her along after her. Jasper’s fingers enveloped hers completely, but it was oddly comfortable. By the time she’d realized that Greg might wonder at the unusual behavior, it was far too late; they’d nearly reached the van.

 

“Alright,” Pearl said, clearing her throat nervously. “Greg, I assume we’re taking the main road once we’re out of town? Jasper, you can probably see it cresting the hill where the buildings end.”

 

The back doors of the van slammed shut and Greg's eyes flickered briefly to Pearl and Jasper's entwined hands.

 

"Yeah," he said, not missing a beat. "Hop in." He gave the back door a final pat and got himself to the driver's seat. As he buckled his seatbelt, he tried not to wonder about Jasper or Pearl. He didn't get involved in Gem stuff, and _Pearl's_ Gem stuff was definitely not his business. Pearl would remind him of that fact if he ever brought it up, he was certain, even if he wasn't opposed to hearing about it. He held firm to his belief that there were at least _some_ things he could help the Gems with, given the chance.

 

In the side mirror, Greg caught Jasper ruffling Pearl's hair in what was most definitely an affectionate manner. He had to do a double-take before he fixed his eyes straight ahead. So much for not wondering. The day had started out so straight-forward but it was becoming more baffling by the second.

 

Jasper was able to see the point Pearl was referring to and commented on it being no problem.

 

"Just don't let that human crash into anything," she said, letting go of Pearl's hand so she could join Greg in the strange-looking vehicle.

 

Yet again the action brought color to Pearl’s cheeks, and she promised Jasper easily that there would be no problem. She slipped away, smoothing her hair back to normal before climbing into the cab of the van, glancing apprehensively at the man beside her.

 

Reading humans wasn’t her specialty, by any means, but Greg was particularly difficult _not_ to read. The discomfort in his rigid shoulders alone was a dead giveaway. Pearl sighed, turning her attention to the side mirrors. “I’m sure Jasper will have no trouble keeping up in town,” Pearl said, managing to keep her voice even. “But feel free to try to stay ahead of her once we’re out of the city—within reason, of course.”

 

"Right." Greg started up the van, bracing himself for a drive that was likely to be silent and even more awkward than he'd initially thought. He and Pearl had made some improvements over the years when it came to making conversation and understanding one another on a very basic level. It was their history that made things... well, complicated, he guessed. But Greg had no problems looking past all of that, and had more-or-less tried to display that fact in his attitude towards her for the past decade. Pearl had more of a tendency for being unpredictable, in his opinion. He couldn't tell what she was thinking as he pumped the gas and started the van rolling through the sand again.

 

For several moments after she’d buckled her seatbelt, Pearl considered exactly that—enduring a silent, uncomfortable ride sounded infinitely more normal than asking Greg about things that weren’t his business. Still, she was already here, and at the end of the day…

 

“I can’t believe I’m about to ask this of you,” Pearl said aloud around the knot in her throat. She sighed, screwing her eyes shut. “Greg, I… need some advice. And unfortunately, you’re somehow the most qualified person I know to give any. If you’re willing.”

 

Greg had just been contemplating which CD to play to pass the time when Pearl spoke. There was the unpredictability he'd come to know from Pearl and the other Gems. He suspected was the same impulsive behavior that'd lead to her ripping the side of his van apart to use in the construction of an actual rocket, or a simple tune-up turning into a total rehaul of the mobile home. The second one was infinitely preferred to the first.

 

He wasn't quite sure how to feel about this situation, however. A little touched that she would want to share something with him, and a little terrified about what kind of advice she needed. But mostly he supposed he was sympathetic. Just a glance at Pearl told him she really was struggling with something, and that she'd worked up the courage to admit that to him was notable. He gave her a nod.

 

"Sure, Pearl," he said gently, pushing away his discomfort for the moment. "What's on your mind?"

 


	13. Dating Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg is the only one Pearl can ask for a second opinion. Unfortunately, that puts him squarely in Pearl's business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is legitimately the reason I wanted to post this fic, haha.

Pearl didn’t know that she could answer that in English. She sighed, tried to will away some of her own tension. This couldn’t be more awkward—though she supposed the one thing that would make the situation more unbearable would have been the inclusion of Amethyst. She was lucky not to have to worry about that much, at least.

 

For now.

 

“I think you may have noticed part of it,” Pearl said, and abandoning caution, she blurt out; “I’m… torn. Between Jasper and Garnet. Romantically. And it’s the most ridiculous, embarrassing, awkward…” she huffed, deflating visibly. For long moments, she was silent, and then, in a much smaller voice, finished with; “I don’t want to do to them what Rose did to us. And I don’t know how to choose.”

 

Well, that was certainly a lot to take in all at once. Greg worked his palms against the steering wheel, flattening his lips once Pearl had finished. He should have expected Pearl to bring up Rose, but it still stirred a flurry of mixed emotions. Rose had created a fair amount of tension between he and Pearl, and Greg could absolutely understand Pearl wanting to prevent that from happening again. Only, there seemed to be key parts of this confession he was missing.

 

"That's uh... That's... Wow."

 

Greg almost wanted to apologize for his lack of an actual sentence to respond with. He turned the a/c on instead.

 

"I didn't realize you and Garnet were a thing," he admitted. Though the signs had been there, and he faintly remembered Rose bringing up the idea, he'd thought it was more one-sided than that.

 

Pearl swallowed hard, feeling heat rush to her cheeks. She had rushed through most of the sordid details, and it made sense that Greg would come to that conclusion… still, her stomach knotted.

 

Twenty-four hours ago, she would have laughed at the very idea, at the sheer idiocy of the notion that Garnet would ever want her in any capacity. That she had reciprocated for _years_ was still almost impossible to process.

 

“We’re not. Not yet. None of us are… are anything yet,” she admitted, pressing her face into her hands. “It’s all up in the air as of last night. I brilliantly confessed to both of them yesterday.”

 

Greg nodded, taking the information in. He wasn't a stranger when it came to sudden confessions of love, that was for sure. If Pearl felt some kind of sudden attraction to Jasper, he could at least try to understand that.

 

"I can see where that would cause some trouble. How did they react?" he prompted.

 

“Very receptive,” was the concise, simple answer. Pearl’s face was burning up to her hairline, and she didn’t think she could look at the man beside her even if she’d wanted to. Still, she straightened, opting to look into the side mirror instead and folding her hands primly in her lap. “Jasper doesn’t want to be second to anyone, and I don’t blame her… And Garnet has apparently returned my feelings for years, only I was too blind to see it.”

 

Jasper was trailing just behind the van at a normal pace at this point, blissfully unaware of the conversation occurring within.

 

"Eh, I wouldn't pin the blame for that on you," Greg replied. "Garnet isn't exactly the easiest to read. Most of the time I see her she always wears the same expression."

 

He let out a nervous breath, trying to ease the tension. Judging by Pearl's expression, 'very receptive' meant there was probably more to it than Pearl was letting on, and Greg was totally fine with that staying a mystery for him.

 

"But hey, you didn't get turned down!" he said. "That's something. Most people consider confessing their feelings the hard part. But I guess you feel kind of stuck having to make a decision, huh?"

 

“Stuck is putting it mildly,” Pearl sighed. She did suppose that confessing had—initially—seemed the most daunting. “How do I choose? What criteria is wisest? I’ve known Garnet for all of her existence, longer than your kind has had written history, and I don’t think my feelings for her will ever change. I ignored those feelings for millennia because I wanted to dedicate everything to Rose, and I was sure she wouldn’t reciprocate anyway. But then Jasper comes here…” she sighed, “I can’t ignore how I feel about her. It’s different. It’s like a whirlwind. And I’m the only one on this planet that she’s remotely pleasant with. She has no other—friends, allies, anything in this entire star system. Maybe that will change when she and Peridot reunite, but at the moment, she’s… surrounded by old enemies, new enemies, in strange territory. And I don’t feel sorry for her, exactly, but I do feel responsible for her situation.” After all, she had been the first to join Rose Quartz’ rebellion.

 

"I don't think I can answer that one for you," he said honestly. How did Pearl choose? What she looked for in a partner Greg really didn't know. And the Gems could be so complicated... But he had loved a Gem.

 

He thought of Rose again, and how he had ended up in exactly what Pearl explained—a whirlwind. She'd breezed into his life one night and swept him right off of his feet. All of a sudden he found himself completely attracted to a woman like no other. It had taken time for that attraction to grow into something deeper, but if he hadn't taken the chance in the first place then he would have never known her.

 

"Speaking from experience, Pearl, who you've known the longest probably isn't the best way to judge things. I barely knew Rose before I decided to turn this van around and drive it right back to Beach City to be with her. And it was the best decision of my life."

 

He smiled fondly.

 

"Sometimes you have to take chances without knowing how they'll end up. But then again, you've loved Garnet for more years than I can even imagine. Hm."

 

Greg scratched at the back of his neck, still feeling pretty lost in all this.

 

"Is this... common for Gems? To fall in love with two totally different people at once?"

 

Pearl felt her jealousy spike at the mention of what Rose and Greg had shared, but there was nothing she could do against that. She said nothing. Greg's experience with Rose was exactly why she wanted his advice.

 

Greg's advice wasn't wrong. It was halfway what she wanted to hear--and at the same time, she didn't want to hear that. Losing logic as a basis for decision meant dealing with feelings primarily, and Pearl knew she wasn't very good at that.

 

Then he asked—and Pearl flushed. "I... Well, I don't know. On Homeworld, it wouldn't be encouraged," she murmured, "Garnet said that there was... A possibility, of all three of us being together. But they don't get along. At all. Jasper has had bad experiences with Fusion, and Garnet is a reminder of that. I don't know that they'll ever get along."

 

"Heh. Kind of sounds like us," he pointed out with an embarrassed blush rising to his cheeks. "I mean, obviously it's not the same. But you and I didn't exactly get along."

 

The van jostled some, creaking as it made it over a curb and onto the paved road. He pressed the gas a little harder so the old thing could start picking up some more speed.

 

He glanced at the Gem beside him. The relationship between them was so complicated. He knew Pearl had some animosity towards him in the past and that some of it probably lingered. What he couldn't figure out was if she'd ever shared how she really felt to Rose. Back when Rose was still around, Greg made it a point to stay out of Pearl's personal life. But here she was, asking him for advice. Maybe it wouldn't be so terrible to get everything on the table at once. Sort things out.

 

Or maybe it would be the worst idea ever.

 

Only one way to find out.

 

"Pearl," he said, taking his time. "Did you ever tell Rose how you felt? I mean, did you ever talk to her about me?"

 

They hadn’t gotten along; Pearl’s knee-jerk reaction would have been to say that they still didn’t, despite evidence to the contrary. She was used to the idea that she disliked Greg. More than she actually felt it, at this point. Greg wasn’t terrible, and what had happened with Rose had ultimately been his gain, but not his _fault_.

 

She bristled a little at the sound of her name, expecting the worst, somehow—and sure enough, a probing personal question followed.

 

For a moment, Pearl stared at him, unsure of how to respond. They were laying things out now, so there was no sense avoiding it, but…

 

The Crystal Gem averted her gaze, focusing on her hands in her lap instead. Her knuckles were blue, and she wondered when she’d fisted her hands. “There were a lot of things that weren’t… appropriate. For me to tell her, regarding that,” Pearl said stiffly, “I think she may have thought I was more comfortable than I was with it all. You weren’t the first human I was jealous over. I didn’t talk to her about those kinds of feelings.

 

“Rose never regretted anything, and I never thought…” Pearl trailed off with a sigh, “By the time I might’ve said something, it was obvious that you were going to be different from the others. And what was I meant to do, ultimate her? I think we both know she’d have chosen you.”

 

"That's not the point," Greg replied, a bit daringly. It was the first thing that rolled off his tongue and he went with it. He knew he was walking on proverbial eggshells with Pearl—her answer was another reminder of her need to be prim and proper at all times. But the truth needed to be out.

 

"It's not about who she would have chosen, and it's not even about me, honestly. I mean, look—I’m just some dope who fell hopelessly in love. But Rose and I, we found something in each other. We talked. We shared how we felt. Otherwise it wouldn't have worked."

 

Part of him really felt sorry for Pearl. He didn't think Rose had a clue just how uncomfortable she was with Greg, and he could see that bringing it up now was making her tense. But he hoped this would help her.

 

"You said you don't want to do to Jasper and Garnet what Rose did to us. Well, then you can't make the same mistake. So don't wait to share how you feel. Just say it. Go ahead, try it right now. Think about Jasper and think about Garnet. How do they make you feel?"

 

Pearl’s face flushed several different shades of blue while Greg spoke—for more than a few different reasons, this time—and though it pained her to listen, she did. She didn’t think she could articulate what was wrong about his reasoning, not without a lengthy history lesson about pearls and their place in Gem society, and really—for the first time, she realized—none of that mattered. Greg was appropriately down-to-Earth, in every sense, and his wisdom came from belonging to this planet completely.

 

It was probably what had drawn Rose to the man, even with his silly head in the stars.

 

“How they make me feel?” Pearl echoed, and her voice was small again. She wasn’t good at that kind of thinking. She supposed that most pearls weren’t. The Gem sighed, closing her eyes. “I… I don’t know how to describe it. Warm. Safe. Protected, but also… not like they think I necessarily _need_ it. Less small. Like I’m not riddled with cracks and holes. Like a sword that won’t rust in its scabbard on a mantle somewhere. Like I’d deserve more than that. Like I don’t have to be everything all at once.”

 

Greg let a small silence form between them, Pearl's words setting in as the vehicle rumbled around them. He was thankful for the cool air blowing through the vents, and took a deep breath of it before letting it out.

 

"That's good, Pearl," he said finally. "You deserve that, you know... All of that."

 

Greg couldn't remember ever hearing such honesty and openness from her. It was refreshing. Nice, even. He glanced over at her with a small smile.

 

"If they both make you feel that way, then maybe you don't have to choose."

 

Pearl didn’t think she deserved even a fraction of that, but had a feeling that arguing that point would get her nowhere. Besides, it was nice to hear from someone who didn’t know better. It almost sounded like the kind of logic Steven might have presented.

 

She didn’t know how she would go about telling Steven, when the time came.

 

“How can I possibly not have to choose if they don’t like each other?” Pearl asked, brows furrowing. “I can’t court both of them—date. I can’t date them if they aren’t dating each other.” This was Earth, she had to remind herself. Maybe the rules were different here. She couldn’t court _either_ of them on Homeworld, for more reasons than just that their castes would never intersect, even if Garnet had been allowed to exist there. Pearl sighed. Trying to factor Jasper into things had her thoughts jumbled, and not just because thinking about the Quartz soldier got her in a tizzy.

 

"I'm no expert," Greg confessed humbly. Though, in hindsight, Pearl probably knew that already. She had a tendency to assume he wouldn't know the answers. It was kind of nice to have the advantage every once in awhile.

 

"You can date them if they aren't dating each other, Pearl. They just have to agree to the idea. And you do too. I may not understand what dating on Homeworld was like, but the great thing about Earth is that you can do whatever makes you happy."

 

Greg leaned slightly and gave Pearl a friendly nudge with his elbow without thinking.

 

"Even if you want to date a giant magical woman. Or two!"

 

Pearl’s flush increased tenfold at the nudge—it was something Amethyst would have done, and it took her by surprise. In retrospect, it was probably the first time Greg had initiated contact with her without getting a terrible reaction. Pearl still remembered his bear hug after restoring the van the first time, how it had made her proverbial skin crawl, and how she’d spent much of the rest of the day hiding behind Garnet to avoid any more of that kind of erratic human behavior.

 

But it wasn’t so erratic, and it wasn’t completely out of place. Pearl—shockingly—smiled a little. “You’re _incorrigible_ ,” she half-teased, half-reproached, though her smile quickly faded. “Is it fair to tell them that, though? I don’t understand these things. It was different with… with Rose, she could do whatever she wanted. She had the status. She had the _right_. I’m just…”

 

The sigh she let out next was shaky, and Pearl averted her eyes, staring into the rear view mirror instead. “I’m just some pearl, in over her Gem.”

 

Greg was relieved Pearl returned his smile, at least for a short moment. He was a tactile guy, and had a tendency to forget about Pearl's aversion to contact. Or, human contact at least. She was often hanging onto Garnet, and she'd clearly had no problem holding Jasper's hand before they'd started the drive. But his thoughts didn't linger there as Pearl voiced her concerns. His smile faded with hers, his heart going out to her.

 

"Rose... seemed larger than life," Greg somewhat agreed. "It was easy to get swept up by her. Even when she made you feel like you were the whole universe, you could still feel so small next to her." Greg took in a deep breath and let it out through his nose.

 

"But you're more than just 'some' Pearl. You're _the_ Pearl, Pearl. Just because you don't have the experience doesn't mean you can't do this. You have two Gems who really care about you. And if they care about you enough, they will be fine with you taking your time, or asking them questions, or, heck, even turning them down. When someone loves you, they want what's best for you."

 

Greg almost couldn't believe what he was about to say, but it came out of his mouth so naturally and earnestly that he knew he wasn't making a mistake in saying it.

 

"And if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

 

His closing offer startled Pearl’s gaze back toward him, and Pearl stared for a long moment. She wasn’t sure whether to argue. She _was_ just ‘some’ pearl. Greg didn’t know better—she may have been the only one he’d ever met, but there were hundreds of others, at least. Maybe more, by now. She certainly wasn’t the first, or the most important. Some part of her wondered if newer pearls were prettier, more compliant, more like her sisters. Less defective.

 

But Greg wasn’t wrong that—somehow—she’d been lucky enough to catch not one, but two Gems’ attention. And as far as anyone on Earth was concerned, she was the only pearl any of them would be seeing for a very, very long time. She was ‘the’ pearl in this scenario. Comparing herself to ghosts several systems away was pointless.

 

So she held her tongue, taking in his words instead.

 

She didn’t want to think about how Rose made Greg feel—not when it was so much like her own experience. But the rest…

 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she managed, voice choked. “Thank you, Greg.”

 

"No problem," Greg replied softly, stealing a glance at Pearl despite needing to keep his eyes the road, or lack thereof now that they were beyond the paved streets of the city.

 

"Personally I think Garnet gives better advice than I do, but I can see where talking to her would be a conflict of interest," he quipped.

 

Pearl nodded almost absently, and her gaze flitted back to her hands in her lap. She folded her fingers together. “Garnet’s always been the one I went to for advice. I just never realized… Ruby and Sapphire aren’t Garnet, but they seem so exclusive, I always thought I’d be in the way somehow. Even though Garnet has her own wants and needs, I just…” she reached up, scrubbing her palm across her right eye, catching the beginnings of tears before they could really form. “I couldn’t imagine that I’d be enough for her, especially when I couldn’t be enough for Rose. But she doesn’t want anything I’m not, somehow. And Jasper doesn’t, either.”

 

She went quiet, staring down at her hands in her lap again. “I’ve never been ‘enough’ for anyone. Not in this kind of… arrangement.”

 

Greg eased up on the gas pedal as he took his eyes from the road once more, his mouth hanging open slightly as he observed Pearl. When he turned his gaze back to the road, it took him a moment to find the words he wanted.

 

"I had no idea you felt that way."

 

Greg couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. The lack of communication between Pearl and Rose--not to mention the other obvious complicated layers that existed between the two of them he would never be able to understand--weren't his fault. But he'd never once thought Pearl would be this insecure. She'd always acted so confidently around him. He swallowed nothing.

 

“You weren’t supposed to,” Pearl almost chuckled, but the sound was hollow and empty, and she shook her head. “Do you think I spent twenty years picking on you because I wanted you to know something like that? _Honestly_.”

 

Blue eyes darted over to the man beside her, and even now, she couldn’t see the appeal. He was short, gone to seed in his older years, and… homely. He wasn’t at all the type to swoop a Gem off her feet, but somehow, he had succeeded. Pearl hadn’t thought, even when he was young, that Greg would be real competition. Rose had courted kings and queens, humans with wealth and incomparable status in the distant past, and yet… here he was, the father of her child. The reason Rose had decided to give up her form.

 

Pearl didn’t think she’d ever understand it.

 

“There are many things a pearl should… _I_ should have been. I don’t know how much you know. And there’s plenty I would rather you didn’t. But you should know, I was… literally, explicitly, _created_ for Rose. To be whatever she wanted. That’s why…” Pearl exhaled heavily, dragging her fingers through her loose bangs. She had to look away. “That was why I hated you so much at first. I spent my entire existence trying to be whatever she had most need of, and then you show up, and she falls in love with you, just like _that_? And not like the others, she really, truly…”

 

Pearl’s voice trailed off, and she scrubbed at her right eye again, more rigorously this time. “It’s in the past, but sometimes, twenty years feels like yesterday. It was so recent, to me. To Gems. Just a blink.”

 

"You were... 'created for her'..." Greg repeated slowly. It wasn't so much a question but more an affirmation that what Pearl had said was exactly what she meant. But what response could he give her? She had to know there wasn't anything like that on Earth. Pearl wasn't some robot meant to complete tasks and follow orders-- she was a person. He shook his head, the reminder of the differences between he and Pearl hitting him hard. It reminded him vaguely of when he'd had his first real and serious talk with Rose. He could feel himself sinking into his chair a little.

 

"It's so hard sometimes for me to understand Gems. To understand _you_ especially, Pearl," he said, mouth dry.

 

“I haven’t made it easy for you,” Pearl admitted, drawing herself up to sit a little straighter as the van continued to bounce along. She would need to be composed when they reached the barn, she reminded herself. The last thing anyone needed was Jasper thinking Greg had upset her and attacking the poor man.

 

Still, Pearl cast a sidelong glance at him. “You try, and that’s… well, honestly, more than I can say of most of your kind. I know the others appreciate it, too.”

 

Greg did try. The Gems and their ideas could be confusing, but he thought so highly of each of them. He wanted to have a relationship with them beyond just being Steven's father or the human that fell in love with Rose. How to put that in to words, though, eluded him.

 

"I care about you guys," he confessed. "All of you."

 

He thought of Amethyst and Garnet, both of whom he'd known for years and one of whom he'd actually spent an extended amount of time with. But it was Pearl who he felt the most distanced from, and the 'why' to that made sense now more than ever.

 

"It probably doesn't mean much coming from me," Greg said after a moment. "But you don't have to be anyone but yourself here, Pearl. Being yourself is always enough."

 

Pearl was taken aback by the offer. It was no surprise that Greg cared about the Crystal Gems; they’d been part of his life for decades, and he hadn’t gone anywhere. He had to care, or he wouldn’t constantly be butting in to help every few months, going above and beyond his duties as Steven’s father. He helped with the house, with things other than finances, and…

 

Pearl had never really thought about the fact that he might care about her, personally, but the idea choked her throat and stole her voice, however briefly. She managed a nod.

 

“I… I appreciate it,” she managed, fighting to keep her voice steady. Pearl drew in a shaky sigh, one she didn’t truly need, but it helped ground her. Helped her from crying. That was one thing she hoped Greg never had to see. She’d be damned if her pride allowed _that_.

 

“I don’t know if I can,” Pearl admitted haltingly, voice small, “But I’ll try. To be more honest. I’m not used to the idea. But I’m sure I owe you that, after everything I’ve put you through.”

 

"Hey, don't worry about that. You don't owe me anything."

 

Greg almost worried Pearl would cry. He'd never seen her even close to that sort of raw emotion. He glanced at the dashboard and the cup holders to see if he had any tissues lying around, and then he figured Pearl would object to the offer of a stray tissue lying around anyway. Luckily, another glance at her confirmed she wasn't shedding any tears and Greg was thankful for that. He slowed the van as it reached the top of the hill.

 

"Mostly you should do it for yourself. And it's not always easy, but I think you'll find you feel a lot better when you don't bottle things up so much."

 

It was sound advice. Pearl couldn’t help thinking of Garnet, of their conversation in Peridot’s trap more than a month prior. Garnet wanted her to become strong, find her own way, her own strength, and not for anyone but herself… The idea was still foreign to her.

 

And then there was Jasper, who already saw those qualities—despite seeing her weak and beaten down after the fight against the Moon Jelly.

 

Pearl nodded almost distractedly. “I suppose hiding things really isn’t… Garnet told me something like that, too. You’re probably both right. I’ll try to re-learn,” she said, almost more to herself than to Greg. When she looked up at the man, she managed a smile, easier and more genuine than she ever would have thought was possible. “I’m working on… changing, for myself, for the better. I suppose I’ll add that to the list.”

 

"I told you Garnet gives good advice," Greg said as he finally parked the van, letting it putter in its spot before removing the keys. He finally gave Pearl his full attention then, and he smiled gently back at her. He ran his hand through what was left of his hair.

 

"We used to talk a lot more back in the day. But, uh, I guess you know her better than anyone."

 

He wondered if getting this open with Pearl meant he might talk to Garnet, too. Eventually. There was still that whole Gems-needing-to-save-Earth-from-a-cluster thing.

 

"And I think what you're doing is exactly right. You know what I always say. If every porkchop were perfect..." He grinned a little wider at the Gem beside him.

 

“Hotdogs, right?” Pearl asked, not having committed his catchphrase to memory the way the others had. Perhaps she should have. Still, she managed a smile back. “I’ve known her longer. But… Like you said, that isn’t necessarily a guarantee of _better_.” She paused to unfasten her seatbelt, glancing into the side mirror for any sign of Jasper. With her gaze averted, it was easier to say; “Thank you again, Greg. It does mean a lot to me.”

 

Okay, so Greg had imagined Pearl completing the phrase then the two of them parting as the unlikely friends Rose had seemingly always wanted them to be. But that was close enough in his book! And it warranted a pleased expression. The friends thing would come. Eventually.

 

As if on cue, Jasper circled around from Greg's side and planted herself squarely in front of the van, smacking the hood and startling Greg. The seatbelt locked against him as he jolted, and the man wheezed before, somewhat embarrassed, he managed to unbuckle it.

 

"Hey!" Jasper said. "We're here, right? What's the hold up?"

 

Pearl jolted as well, but caught herself before she could be tossed from her seat to the dashboard. “Jasper! If you break the hood I’ll have to repair it. Again. We were just talking,” she said, slipping out of the cab with a sidelong glance at Greg. Still, she couldn’t help smiling a little at the eternally impatient Quartz soldier. “Did you have a good run?”

 

"It was alright," Jasper said. "More of a jog with the speed this thing was going." She jerked her thumb at the van as she moved to Pearl's side.

 

"Hey," Greg replied as he shut his door, "it can only go so fast."

 

Jasper regarded him, eyebrow cocked, before putting her arm around Pearl and turning her attention to the barn.

 

"This is even more primitive than your main base!" She exclaimed. "Is this some kind of defense? To trick anyone into thinking there's no possible way any sort of serious operation could be going on inside?"

 

Pearl fit comfortably against Jasper’s side, attention all too easily stolen from Greg and her concerns about the condition of the poor van. One day, the machine would give out entirely. Pearl considered, briefly, supplementing some of the tungsten they’d had to gather for future upgrades, but the thought was quickly shelved when Jasper started talking.

 

“It’s not intended as a _base_ , Jasper. We’re just building the drill here. There really isn’t anything we need to defend from in this area; Gem beasts usually go for the Temple,” she tried to explain, somewhat cautiously slipping her arm around Jasper’s much higher waist. Holding her hand might have been easier, but it was nice, being able to lift her arm properly again. Pearl leaned into her contentedly. “Most of the supplies we used were already in the barn, and there was no point moving them to a location with more humans to worry over.”

 

"Just because you're on this abandoned colony doesn't mean you can afford to let your guard down," Jasper chided Pearl, albeit more gently than one might expect from the gruff soldier.

 

"If Yellow Diamond found out what sort of operation you're trying to pull off down here, she'd send someone to end it. And I'm not talking about just shipping off a single Peridot to poke around."

 

Yellow Diamond hadn't sent anyone done yet as far as she knew, but it was only a matter of time before something came down from Homeworld, even close as the Earth colony was to its expiration date.

 

Pearl could feel her cheeks heat at the scolding, and she glanced down at their feet as they walked, matching Jasper’s pace rather than finding her own. “If Yellow Diamond found out… I’m amazed she hasn’t yet, frankly,” Pearl murmured, “After the things Peridot said to her—she doesn’t know about us being here, unless you got a call out to her from the ship before it went down.” Without thinking, Pearl curled her fingers against Jasper’s back, clenching some of her long white hair in a vice-like grip that didn’t last. She forced her muscles to relax when she exhaled next. “It’s all been luck and near misses. But you’ve already seen our strongest weaponry, Jasper. We’ve got four canons and Alexandrite. Beyond that…” she trailed off. Anything more sophisticated than a single hand ship would easily overpower the remains of Rose’s army.

 

Jasper could see Pearl becoming distressed rather than motivated. A strange thing about her kind, she supposed--trying to scare her only resulted in... scaring her. And nothing good. A different approach seemed necessary now, so she thought for a moment and tried to ease Pearl's worries.

 

"Most likely Yellow Diamond won't bother at all with what you're doing. If Peridot disrespected her, she'll just abandon her here and leave it at that. Maybe a small scouting ship will touch base and scan the area, but she might not even risk that. Her time is her most precious asset, and she wouldn't want to waste it."

 

Jasper paused as they reached the door to the barn to check if Pearl was looking at her, as if eye contact somehow made her voice clearer to the other Gem.

 

"We'll be prepared for that. But we've got this mission to tackle first."

 

That caught Pearl’s attention. The ‘we.’ Somehow, that was what straightened her spine and drew her gaze back up to the Quartz soldier’s. She wasn’t wrong; time was the one thing Yellow Diamond couldn’t bend to her whim, couldn’t wind around her iron fist.

 

It was the only thing all Gems truly shared, she thought, not without some bitterness. All the same, she smiled up at Jasper, giving her midsection a grateful squeeze. “True. One thing at a time,” Pearl agreed, finally drawing away to tug open the oversized sliding door to the barn.

 


End file.
